memory twiggie being in a big house, the colour pink comes to mind. i don't know if it was the outside or inside. something was pink. and it wasn't fluffy pretty pink, it was gross carnation kind of pink. i went there with my mom who has no recollection of this... there was a butler type of person (this really isn't that clear...it could've been anyone), and he had this little candy dish filled with frozen peas that he offered me. we went there after visiting one of my grandmother's old friends, who gave me a teddy bear. i named him grey bear. i don't care what they say, it wasn't a dream. 010310 ... unhinged walking into the outpatient place in the hospital it reminded me of when my grandma was in the icu when she first got sick. i don't like hospitals...at all. it made me cry and my mom kept asking me what was wrong but i didn't want to talk. they had an ivy plant hanging on an i.v. stand. i found that ironically hilarious for some reason. ivy, i.v. ....i don't know. it was funny. so sue me. the last thing i remember before i got knocked out was them taping my butt to the table.... 010310 ... mikey you doing ok Unhinged? 010310 ... unhinged i'm doing alright these pills make me a little bit loopy 010310 ... mikey loopy? yes if your using the word loopy you must therefore be loopy 010310 ... Aimee My first memory from my life is a sort of bad one.. I have no emotional attachment to it now, but I remember being in a bath tub and feeling really cold and then the next thing I remember was being in the hospital with those suction cup thingy's on me. I told my mom about that a few years ago and she said I was hypothermic or something... kind of a morbid first memory wouldn't you say? 010311 ... belly fire Dark and Beautiful, Silent and Ancient, Sleeping Giants to port, Faery dust water, Deep. Endless. Left behind. 030110 ... belly fire a memory can knock me so hard on my ass that by the sheer weight of it I can leave smiling for the rest of the day just to remember the perfection of that one memory a time or a place or someone so loved I'm floored you'll find everything else is static and clarity can only be found in memory 030212 ... Black Argonaut does anyone know that this is a song from "Cats" ? No, i'm not a loser... 030212 ... guitar_freak My memory is pissing me off. I can't remember anything long-term. It's like what is the point of being at college if I can't remember what I learned last year? It doesn't accumulate. I learn and memorize for exams and get the grades, then it all disappears. Where the hell does it go? I feel like my brain is too full and there is nowhere to put all this shit anymore and so it just squeezes back into the education abyss where it originated. Fuck 031125 ... unhinged sadly enough, i want my old reality back.... back when my heart wanted to be in the world, not just on it 040317 ... hopeless i think it comes back to me when i sleep when i open my eyes its like a dream that you can only remember parts of. guitar freak i know what you meen i have the same problem only my long term is gone too 041026 ... silentbob Today i laid a blanket down in the cemetery and drank an entire bottle of wine in memory of us 050310 ... mon uow afraid of remembering afraid of forgetting 050321 ... exquisiteparadox it wouldn't be the last time we would ignore the glances of people who don't understand the "way we roll" but it was the first time we experienced the people and narratives that would define our relationship those episodes got us through the Fight of '05 the losses of our first loves bad sexual choices identity crises hair color dilemmas and tequila shot night that's home on that scratchy blue lobby couch you sprawled me "writing a paper" absent-mindedly playing with your hair we learned to be witty at parties deliver a one-liner fulfill and break stereotypes and love each no matter what no matter how far no matter how many miles and it's ok that no one understands the " way we roll" 081018 ... faerielord i love you too 081019 ... brother cu we had gone to the beach. i was about 5 or 6 years old. it was the first time i had seen the beach and i was mesmerized by the first sight of an endless ocean, not fully understanding what it was. the air was hot and humid. the black volcanic sand burned the soles of my feet but this didn't stop me from running across it towards the crashing waves. i was so small and the ocean was so big. the first time i got caught in a wave, it knocked me down. i remember losing all sense of direction and feeling scared for a split second, water everywhere, sunlight and sand. later on, my mother and i walked along the beach and i remember seeing two fins, side by side in the distance. when i asked my mom about it she told me they were sharks. 140306 ... unhinged through the lens of morphic_resonance 1) all organisms inherit a collective memory of their species by morphic_resonance from previous organisms 2) individual organisms are subject to morphic_resonance from themselves in the past (the presence of the past p.183) 210819 ... unhinged 'i explore the possibility that memories are not stored inside the head. what we remember is not inscribed in the brain but depends on morphic_resonance. we remember because we resonate with ourselves in the past.' - rs (the presence of the past p.237) 210819 ... raze every day i swallow fistfuls of sand so the water won't take what's moved between my toes, trusting the arteries and interstates that corkscrew through my guts to hold onto what doesn't belong to them just a little longer. i never learned to drive. but look. see how fast i run to keep pace with all i stand to lose. 220712 what's it to you? who go blather from