surrender raze drop a potted plant from the balcony. listen to the sound it makes when it shatters. do it again. then realize you could kill someone if that ceramic bomb exploded in the wrong place at the wrong time after falling from this height, and there are two someones standing right there, right now. scream out a warning and run away, hoping they didn't see what floor you were on when you were a blur retreating into a space that's no longer safe. hide yourself in a booth at the back of a trendy restaurant, in a dark corner where no one ever gets any service. get served anyway, though you're not hungry, though you have nothing in your pockets but fear and the pilling of fabric that's been asked to do too much for too long. stare in horror at one of the people you could have killed when she finds you, and then feel the horror dismantle and reassemble itself in some new configuration when she tells you about her attempts at self-erasure, having recognized something in you she sees in herself. tell her everything. and make a mental note to buy more plants. 210825 ... unhinged i had a leather pouch with a few runes in it years ago. i chose the runes by color of the stone and shape of the carving and then used the code to decipher them. my favorite one, the rune for surrender. sur- above ? render - to tear apart, to break down to smaller parts trungpa rinpoche's teaching on surrender transformed my buddhistness and also are what make me bristle when i hear people say buddhism isn't a religion. have you ever chanted a sadhana with a room full of people and felt your soul moved by the collective energy? have you ever seen thangka paintings of wrathful deities wearing rings of skulls around their necks? have you ever been asked to have devotion just for the sake of it, so you could learn how to bend your own will for the sake of another? have you ever been asked to believe that ALL sentient beings have basic_goodness? (yes, even billionaires and killer cops) doesn't all that seem like it requires surrender to the ability to know for certain and the faith that it's all true anyways? isn't that the heart of religion? 210825 what's it to you? who go blather from