cousin DammitJanet he's 18 going on 7. but there's nothing wrong with him, well, nothing that can be diagnosed. i try to remember back when he *was* 7. did he act younger still? or has he maintained the same level? but he's so smart. his brain is an encyclopedia. everything he touches he remembers. nothing that he's told is ever forgotten. continually reminding me of things long passed. events, stories, jokes, things insignificant to me, but which meant something to him. i try not to lose my patience. i try to interact, i try to not scold, i try to be a mother when his own mother isn't doing her job. too many times i've failed and feel immediately guilty. it's not his fault he's this way. he tries so hard to be the normal he longs to be. but he'll never mentally age as long as he lives where he does. but his parents would never let him go. they think he's fine. if your child sat at the back of the class chanting that he wished he was dead, would you think he was fine? 021226 ... epitome of incomprehensibility She's here for supper so I should be more sociable, but I wanted to catch up on blather... There's a solution here somewhere, but the last time I showed her a page on blather she asked me, "Why do you dream about elephants masturbating?" My answer was, "Oh, it was only the concept of elephants masturbating," but it's the concept that counts, sometimes. 141229 ... raze she used to run and throw her body into mine when we were both almost grown. i don't know how i caught that bullet so many times without bleeding out. a hundred pounds of love packed into one violent motion. she looks just like her mother now — a woman who treated me like her own son, even after whatever undercooked lies the ditch that spat me out tried to drown her in. i hope her children give her back what she gave to me all those years ago just by being alive. 221228 what's it to you? who go blather from