dear
maria another unsendable letter. if he sees it, I'll know he shares the problem anyway.
the dream has shaken me. it was getting easier to forget you. and now to talk to you... i don't know. i don't know who you are anymore or what to say to you. everything we had seems so far away. and now you remind me of everything i hope i'll never be again. i was fucked up from the day you met me. i think if we could start over again with me as i am and you as you were... but we switched. and when you add it up, i account for most of the bad and you for most of the good. which feels pretty shitty. but what can i do now? i really don't know.
i can't wrap my thoughts around everything that is and was. so i just go on and hope it will come together.
so all that comes of this is that i will just wait and see how things play out, which is all i was doing in the first place. and i don't ever want to have a "serious" conversation with you again. i don't ever want to sit around and cry together again. ever.
010423
...
spooky fish that glows in the dark the dear hunter

haha
011001
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silentbob diary 011002
...
lulie Can be a person that is greatly loved or a person that is lovable or kind.
It use to mean noble, worthy.
020509
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bijou dear_cherry_street 041103
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bijou dear_you_too 050314
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bijou dear_blather_gods 050314
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unhinged if you are dear to me
special
i will do anything
stand by you



call me old_fashioned
words
and keeping them
still mean something to me
140113
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epitome of incomprehensibility Dear Courage,:

Am I supposed to use a comma or a colon? Will you be offended if I use both?

I want you, but not for your body. I want you for your phenomenology. Make me part of something phenomenal. Real applications press on me and parody ones depress me, for a change. I guess it's a refreshing change, because sense and nonsense exist in relation to each other and are defined by each other, and I'm stealing this from Derrida's reading of that big Michel Foucault study on madness and reason, which I haven't read in the original because I don't believe in that "aura of authenticity" stuff. You can't see authenticity, you can only hear it.

Being organized makes me sad. It's like something I can see but not hear, and I know I'm not as good at the language as people who grew up pretending they didn't have a minor disability, like the chord structure of hypochondria (C-E-B, if you're curious.) Can you help me, courage?

Thank you in advance.

P.S. Why is Handel's ghost afraid of me? I only want to shake his invisible hand.
140113
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from