hollow moonshine You're the ghost that never haunts me. 010921 ... barbiturate can't seem to bleed myself hollow, no matter how hard i try. 010922 ... imperfect feed me here fill me up again temporarily pacify you 010922 ... Bizzar "how do you push on when you feel hollow?" you asked the world. not even hoping for a response. because you and i both know that no written or spoken words can bridge that chasm. and i could certainly not offer you any quips or epigrams, no admonition or guidance, because even though i know hollow well, the way i push through is you. your smile is a candle's last flicker in the deep abyss of my gloaming. your laugh the first warm sun when the days start to get long again. you are the deep inhale after an underwater swim. you are waking up without an alarm, to the bright mid-morning. i would gladly die in the smile lines at the corners of your eyes, blanketed in the ingido strands of your hair. and if it meant i never smiled again, never again saw the crinkle of your brow as you tell a joke, never again felt the strength of your embrace, i would give it all up to pass you this warmth. to show you how deeply you matter, the way you fill my hollow. i would empty every last drop of myself to fill yours. 220421 ... Bizzar hello, old friend. it's been a while. i wish i could say i missed you. the place where my screams are lost among the void. shattering against my own ears. clawing its way down my throat. filling my lungs with tar and ash. which is maybe. better than the hollow. 220805 ... tender_square eviction notices have been served. the threat is blunted by timing. the only notice he's given for his own self-directed early termination has been expressed verbally, jotted haphazardly on manila, end of august. the evictions say get out by july 31, but only if he wants to. the earliest i can schedule an emergency hearing would be three months from now, and he may be long gone before then, choosing to ride out his last paid month harassing and intimidating me without repercussions. yesterday, an officer said by phone that he knew my tenant and didn't want to come by for my complaint because he's dealt with him enough. and now i am left here, alone, counting down the next six weeks, praying that my tenant's intent to move is legitimate. 230713 what's it to you? who go blather from