glasses belly fire water, wine, juice glasses cups and mugs made of glass they cover the counters and the floors and the tables she trips over them, stumbles over them they are in the cupboards, the fridge and the oven she bakes her food of the broken glass and licks the blood from her fingertips absent-mindedly her mother is in deep decay and seems not to notice and when the ghost of her father traps her mother in a busy portrait she watches as her eyes dart with panic he will return in 10 days that is what she heard him say 10 days the glasses don't bother her they have a meaning, perhaps but they are part of her green-hued reality no silly, you're just dreaming it was only a nightmare wake up 030731 ... raze my favourite pair, i found at the mall eleven years ago. gold wire frames. i bought them because they were the closest thing to john lennon glasses i was able to find, colour notwithstanding. they ran me twenty bucks. i had my prescription put in, which ran me a little more than that. these twenty dollar frames, fragile as they are, have survived being sat on, stepped on, knocked off my face by hands and harder objects, thrown across a bar onto the floor, and a few other indignities. they've been bent out of shape and bent back into shape. a few years ago, the left arm broke clear off. a kind older man who owns an optical store replaced both arms with a much nicer, sturdier pair. aftermarket parts. as nice as they looked, something about them wasn't right. he removed them, soldered the broken arm back into place, and all was well again. the join is invisible to the naked eye, but i can feel where it is if i run my finger along that thin gold wire. it's a scar that needs to be touched to be seen. sometimes i lose track of these glasses for ten minutes or so. i find myself searching for them upstairs. i don't keep them in a case, and there are only a few places they could be when they're not on my face. they're either resting on my bed somewhere, or they're on my dresser, or else they're in the bathroom, on top of a kleenex box that sits on top of the toilet. i'll keep retracing my steps and revisiting the usual spots, to no avail. it doesn't make sense. they didn't just get up and walk away. after i've given up looking, i'll find them sitting on my bed where i left them, blending in with the comforter in an act of unintentional camouflage. you'd think this would be the first place i'd look when the glasses are "missing". it never is. it's a funny little game of hide and seek we play. 130521 ... raze i had a dream that left arm split without breaking off, as if it were a thin strip of tree bark being peeled away from itself, and i knew there would be no fixing it. after all we'd been through together, the wrong ending had come too soon, and i'd be hard-pressed to find another pair i liked as much. it was a relief to wake up and see the glasses and their battle-scarred arm were fine. 131214 ... raze in toronto there was another dream like this, and when i fought to wake up and reassure myself again that nothing was wrong, i couldn't wake up and it wasn't a dream, even though it was. what is with this recent sleepy fear of my glasses breaking down on me? 140104 ... raze they're still kicking, but i found a way to lose or permanently misplace my favourite pair of prescription sunglasses. i lucked into finding a near-identical pair. then i realized the last time i had an eye exam was twelve years ago. probably a good idea to have a checkup before sending those sunglasses away to have my prescription put in, to make sure my eyes haven't changed. well, they ain't quite the same, it turns out, even if my old prescription has never felt lacking. with one-eye viewing the left is now stronger than the right, and i couldn't remember it being that way before i first noticed it a year or two ago. not that i spend a lot of time pretending to be a pirate. it never registered as any indication of anything, but that it be. i saw an optometrist who wasn't a man for the first time in my life. she wanted to give me eyedrops that would screw up my vision for four to six hours and make my glasses useless so she could check me for glaucoma. not gonna happen. i had the eyedrops that numb your eyeballs for fifteen minutes instead. and the blue light. seems most people don't react well to the blue light. it didn't trouble me. just imagine earrings where no earrings be, matey. decided to have the new prescription put in some new frames, to make sure it doesn't break my brain before i go ahead and start modifying any of the glasses i'm used to wearing. tried the big square black frames. my face said get that shit off of me. hey, i tried. round frames like me best. so round it is. black and larger than any i've worn before, but round just the same. a week from now i'll find out if i really want to see things in sharper focus. 150501 ... raze i'm not sure my brain likes seeing this well. this is going to take some getting used to. 150508 ... raze the getting-used-to part is taken care of now. still, it's a little strange to see street signs a good bit sooner than i used to. 150526 ... raze new frames + updated favourite old frames + prescription sunglasses to replace the ones that disappeared under mysterious circumstances = bases covered. figure i'll leave a couple frames with the old prescription intact, because nostalgia, and because $$$. 150711 ... flowerock I first wore glasses freshmen year of h8ghschool. I had started a photography class and all of my negatives came out blurry even though I had focused the lense. The photo teacher asked me to focus the lense then hand it over to show him. He looked through the camera at what I had seen as focused and said "you need glasses" That explained years of sitting front row for class and movies and still not being able to read the board or see the pictures. I couldn't beleive no teacher had ever wondered why I could never "see the board" So my mom took me to costco and I got a vision test and then glasses. When I put them on the first thing I read was a big box way up on a giant costco shelf far enough away that I didn't even see it without the glasses. I laughed and asked if that's how everyone really sees or if they magnified it for me... that's how people with normal vision see, the can actually read print from a distance and see the edges of objects and colors far away. I stared at the night sky and cried, stars were tiny now... little sparkly points with shifting points and flickering shades and colors, not just splotches of white light. I stared at the clouds and mountains, how much detail and texture I could see... amazing. Clouds were like bloble of textured paint, mountains had canyons and cacti and trees and cyotes... I flew in an airplane and saw the view of the ground... nothing was ordinary, I could actually read my sheet music with out playing my flute nearly against the paper and stand... I could see the conductor and his wand. I could see my friends from the other side of the street and nests in trees. I could lay in the grass and see all the blades across the field. And best of all, my negatives were in proper focus and I got to play in the dark room and make photos of all of these things I could now see, and I loved to. 150712 ... raze sat on them, mangled them, and after the dull shock wore off it seemed funny that it hadn't happened sooner, or ever, in all the years (fourteen) i've worn glasses. those wire frames are stronger than they look. they'll be bent back where they belong soon enough. 151202 ... raze days after the man with magic hands fixed them, i sat on a DIFFERENT pair and bent them out of shape. not as badly as the first pair by any means, but still. my ass isn't getting any christmas presents from me this year, i can tell you that much. 151219 ... epitome of incomprehensibility I'm laughing. I mean, it's really too bad, but at the same time you made me laugh. I'm afraid I need a new pair of these. Glasses, not laughs. Now that I've caught up with sleep, I can tell it isn't just the lack of sleep that was making my vision blurry in the faraway. Audible sigh. 151219 ... unhinged i love my new glasses purple cat eyes my brother said i look like daria 151220 ... raze (i laughed too! it felt like the appropriate response.) i was looking at new frames yesterday, just for fun. i've always liked how you can change the way you look a little bit, depending on the glasses you're wearing. none of them had price tags on them, which made trying them on a lot more fun. but the pair i liked best ran five hundred bucks before taxes. and that didn't include the cost of having my prescription put in. yeah … no. that's just insane. how can anyone justify selling a few pieces of plastic and a couple tiny screws for that much money? 151220 ... nr anyone who wears prescription glasses should check out zenni optical. it's online-only and seems too good to be true. i got my sunglasses there for a total of $11 (US), including shipping, and they work perfectly. 151220 ... amy in red that's insane. i found a style that i like, but they are cheap and you can see the interior number stamp through the translucent nosebridge if you are looking at it. also, the style is kind of similar to the picture of john lennon's glasses that yoko ono used on the anniversary of his murder. just a little redder than they are now and they will look blood stained too. my glasses are -always- wounded healers. not cool, but hearkening to the tragic. so my happiness with them was kind of taken from me, but they are still a better style than what i wore before. 151220 ... raze still have the occasional dream in which i manage to sit on or damage or destroy the pair i like best and wear most. but i'm more careful with them now, and they're still going strong. must be residual guilt seeping into the old subconscious. must be. 170928 ... unhinged (how many pairs of glasses do you have?) 170929 ... raze these days i seem to rotate between two pairs of "normal" glasses and one pair of prescription sunglasses. i think before my prescription changed, it got up to something like five or six different frames (two of them sunglasses). that sounds a bit excessive now, but i had this fascination with the way different styles of glasses almost seem to change the shape of your face. now i just wear what's comfortable and seems to suit me. i've been wearing those glasses i sat on and bent out of shape for fifteen years now. they're like a pair of worn-in old slippers for my eyes. i'll keep wearing those guys until they run away from home. and if i ever sit on them again, they very well might... 170930 ... unhinged i only have one pair of glasses but they are getting dinged up so I've been looking for a new pair online. but I really like the shape of the pair I have now so i totally know what you mean 171001 ... raze who knew a drop of dish soap and some warm water would be enough to cut through the cloudy veil of gunked up lenses? (that's a rhetorical question. i'm sure plenty of people know about the magic of dish soap. but man, did it ever just do a number on some caked-in grime i couldn't get rid of no matter what i did. it's been ages since i could see so clearly through these things. time will tell whether or not that's a mixed blessing.) 201113 ... raze i almost forgot — those old prescription sunglasses that disappeared under mysterious circumstances? they fell behind my dresser. all this time they were wedged between wood and wall, hidden in plain sight, just waiting to be found. 201113 ... raze terminal fog now marks that won't fade or be washed away and still i see all i need to 210918 ... kerry i miss my (sun)glasses. they were prescription, with big lenses and purple-gray tortoiseshell frames. i forgot to take them off when i went into the ocean. it took one wave and they were gone. so now i don't have sunglasses. and my new prescription is slightly off. circles sometimes look more like ovals. i have to see an ophthalmologist because apparently one of my pupils contracts when it's supposed to dilate. my pupils are at odds with each other. i have an image of my first eye doctor's appointment, in a very dark office, and my optomotrist looked like rock hudson (i was into james_dean at the time and had just watched giant) asking in his soft voice, 1, or 2? 1, or 2? 1, or 2? i imagine the ophthalmologist as a recluse, a spending his time in dark rooms, peering into other people's eyeballs. in my imagination he is a mad scientist, white coated, with gloves to his elbows. i can't come up with a vision of his eyes, though; no matter what i try, he still wears round, opaque glasses. what i do know is that he will look into my eyes as corny as it sounds in a way no one has. a truly searching gaze, not one i project hopefully onto someone else. perhaps my new glasses will be magic glasses, like dorothy's red shoes. 210918 ... tender square “are you sure you wouldn’t prefer something more feminine?” the eyeglass technician asked. she meant well but i’d found exactly what i wanted: squarish brown aviator frames for my prescription, the kind like mr. dressup wore. i turned my head in the mirror to get a sense of how they looked. “i’ll take them.” brea so lovingly called them my pedophile glasses whenever i wore them around her. 210920 what's it to you? who go blather from