piercing blown cherry Normally the really painful crying sessions are interspered with the silent drips that just fall unannounced from my tear ducts. Interspersed by the constipated sort of tears that have to be pushed out, because they're better out than in, but they just won't come of their own accord. Interspersed with, maybe, one laugh, or two even. But lately the tears have come in tidal waves, failing to suppress the pain rising in my stomach. Something akin to a panic attack. Your own behaviour scares the shit out of you, but the panic and fear, and pain, will not cease and so neither does the gut wrenching, the screams that shred my throat, the failure of my knees, the burning and spinning in my head. No gaps. No in-between laughter. Every moment I think there is no one around to see my face, no one around to hear my sobs and screams the tears rush forward to state their case. I have a strong dislike for panic attacks. I'm trapped in my own body, with no control. I need a break from my life. This acutely painful piercing sensation in my ribcage just will not do. 020507 ... BrotherDB God, what she could do with her pierced tongue....still sends shivers down my back. 020508 what's it to you? who go blather from