Borealis forever 'n ever...
whatever and ever amen
6am is this about loving jesus? 040509
Syrope or is it? can you love someone who doesn't want you? who doesn't talk to you? i mean forever? an active, burning love?

i sometimes wonder if i'm just going through the [e]motions. but the motions are enough for me right now.

watching myself teeter along, all i can do is shake my head sadly.

i'm just trying to convince myself not to show up at your door with a bag of potatoes and a knife.

the conditions under which i'm willing to accept your attentions are pathetically embarrassing.
iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl syrope, i felt that so much. 040509
Syrope good to know it's not just me, igg :) 040509
dying embers And when the day is fading and songs still echo in your head... This is me still loving you.

And when you feel the sunshine warm upon your skin... This is me still loving you.

And when you see me smile, though you're so far away... That is me.

Still loving you.
Borealis this is me...
loving you when you turn your shoulder
loving you when I feel a sliver of ice pierce me between my shoulder blades, and slide down the small of my back, tendons breaking, nerves searing..
this is me...
loving in spite of..
loving as a result of..
loving when neither of us deserves it, and loving when we do.
this is my pain
this is your pain
this is his pain
this is her pain

no, this is not about jesus.
dying embers had the right idea.
if you continue to see a parallel, then so be it..I'm not one to put a label on my writing...
though the "whatever" and ever amen probably should have thrown you off...
hannah m. this is me missing you. this is me knowing i can never go back. 040511
dipperwell jesus God, whoever the fuck you were 051019
past damn it but it's true 080325
someone you know trying not to admit it. 080325
suicidalchinadoll that love weaves a twisted journey through the blue

until the end of time, or the end of blather. perhaps there is no difference
auburn still. and always.

and all ways.
bird eleven years ago i made a foolish choice to "change my ways" and it cost me another seven years of alternating rounds of playing the fool and being played for one to come to my senses

but to say that i ever completely recovered from her, a decade later, would still be a lie.

i'd like to, though
unhinged dreams_connect_me_to_you

some people leave such a big mark it never fully goes away
hsg but why damn it? 080730
Lemon_Soda ihope your excited to get up in the morning because its the only thing left i hope for you. 080731
unhinged who knows why. i believe in cosmic connections, karma. the string of cause and effect that brings two people together in a certain place at a certain time is so complex they couldn't even hope to untangle it, but there is a reason, to me at least. i don't believe in that random happenstance baloney.

as for the big marks we get from some as opposed to others, i think that is part of the karmic entanglement. that maybe at the exact moment we first saw them the conditions were right for them to get so deep into our hearts that we didn't even realize until we were still stuck loving them a decade later even after all the shit that can happen in that amount of time.

frank, for example. even though i haven't seen him in years, i was so impressionable in the years that i did know him that i am only beginning to realize why and how i still love him. right now, i am just glad he is still alive and has a baby to keep him that way. i have always thought he would be a good father once he got his shit together and even though i haven't talked to him much since he became a dad, i'm sure in his own mischievious way, he is a great daddy. the love of small children has a way of changing your life. i know first hand from my cuddle_bug arielle and that little shit of a nephew i call o_man.

of all our organs, i believe the heart has the best memory.
Lemon_Soda I dont' think your her, Unhinged, but I like to imagine she wrote what you just did. 080812
Ouroboros I would wrap you in my arms, baby bird,
I would wipe your tears.
I would stay, and go, and do everything I could, just to carry you a little, just to carry your load a little. I would undress you for bed, and keep watch while you sleep, make all the calls you don't want to make. I would be right by your side through any darkness. Wipe the strain from your face, the tension from your eyes. Hold you close like I did when we walked down the street. It's you and it's me and it's we in this together.
thatgrrl always 080825
LoverOfLight Sure I'll feel and then purge the bitter
But I'm still going to Love
All that I imagined and pledged to you
It's still here, it's still in me
I'm going to do it again
I'm going to love someone
And if they love me well...
I'm going to honor the love that was yours by giving it to someone else
It won't be wasted after all
In fact, it's only going to morph and grow
caresscoffee I wish I could quit you... loving you has caused me nothing but pain because you don't love me or want me... even though you don't say it out-loud you think it and your eyes say it when you look at me 081110
Ouroboros always and always 081118
Lover_Of_Light I'm so afraid suddenly because I have just come to note his body is like yours, the height, build, skin texture, the way he holds my hand and walks with me, embraces me, kisses me and makes un-love to me.
I want the pain of you to go
I want him more because of who he is and because I know he's not you
But I'm afraid of these parallels
I'm just afraid to let myself relax and love that much again
unhinged 'it was fate'

that we ended up together; there was definitely nothing random about it.
unhinged just now the bus i was on went past a vw bus and i thought of you and your ex living in a van.

that i didn't think of us together in any capacity in memories i have of you now is telling. but i still think about you, dream about you, even though i have a wonderful relationship with a wonderful boy who i do and can love way more completely than i ever could you.

but yet i'm still thinking of you. goddamnit
what's it to you?
who go