dying_matter_of_factly Dafremen What is the problem with some people? They say that they want TRUE social equality between the sexes, but when it's staring them dead in the eyes they refuse to believe that it's being sincerely offered. Thus began a strange dream that I had last night. I was hanging out with my old buds from a trade school that I had gone to for a short time. One of my friends was a masculine chick who I had always been good friends with, never really wanting more than that. In the dream we're all shooting the breeze when I slap her on the back (as I had been doing with my other friends the entire time) when she gets completely offended as if I had made a pass at her or something (an impossibility because I am hopelessly devoted to my marriage...its a Libra thing. You might not understand.) She gets up and starts making a huge scene when I decide that I've had enough and leave, heading to the store. I'm walking to the store when a very poor-looking man with his eyes rolled back in his skull holds his hand out as if he were asking for money. I reach in my pocket and pull out a large wad of bills which I give to him. After that I keep walking to the store. When I get there, there is a towel in my hand and I am thinking that perhaps I should take my coat off so that they won't think that I'm a shoplifter, but then I decide that I like my Daffy jacket (my wife and kids coined the phrase, not me...but it was kinda catchy, so I went with it) entirely too much to take it off just to avoid suspicion(it's a green Pacific Trail coat with pockets all over the place. The best part is that the two front pockets have no bottoms so the entire jacket becomes one big pocket. I can carry four 32oz beers, a coupla CD's and a two-button mouse in those pockets and noone seeing me walk down the street has any idea that I'm packin' brewskis and tunes.) So I keep the coat on and start walking through the store with the towel in my hand (don't ask, I don't know even know where the damned thing came from, much less why I decided to walk through the store carrying it...it's a dream for gawd sake.) As I walk past the refrigerated beverage section, the towel BARELY brushes against a shelf. Suddenly, the entire shelf gives way and case after case of beer, in bottles, start to fall. At the SAME time all the way on the other end of the aisle, en entire glass case of the REALLY expensive bo0ze starts to fall over too. Needless to say, I freaked out and, in my usual cool-headed manner, reacted quickly. Turning to the left, I quickly shuffle down the other aisle before anyone could see me and connect me to the 6 inch high wave of beer that was coming towards the aisle I was now in. Noticing that the shuffling sound of my feet was pretty loud, I look around and spot a clerk in the next aisle who, it appeared, had connected the accident with the shuffling sound, and was now looking for someone to come walking by that end. I immediately did an about-face (now 20 or so feet from the crime scene) and start calmly walking toward the site of the accident, to all appearances just another curious onlooker. "Need a towel?" I ask the first store employee on the scene, throwing the towel to him(so THAT'S what that towel was for! See? Makes perfect sense doesn't it? Er..it's a DREAM for gawd sake, cut a guy some slack!) then walking on. Ok, now I get to the REALLY strange part of the dream. I decide that I should probably pay for my things and leave, so I walk to the check out line (ignoring completely the fact that I have no "things" at this point, not even the stupid towel.) There are only two aisles and each lane has 20 customers or so. I notice that the right lane has no cashier (explaining why THAT line was so backed-up) and that the left lane's cashier has a very sloooow look about her. That's when the flashing lights caught my eye. I walk outside to investigate these blue and red flashing lights and find a small Chevy Astro minivan with U.S. CUSTOMS painted on the side, with the blue and gold stripes that are the usual markings of customs vehicles. There is a customs agent walking toward a light blue Taurus (the car, not the personality type...although a light blue TAURUS would be something to see huh?) and I decide to investigate. As I approach the car, the first thing that I notice is that there are no seats. Not as if they had been removed, but as if it had been designed without seats, sort of like a hatchback from the front to the rear of the passenger compartment. The carpet is covered with little pieces of cement and trash and inside are also two people. Both of the people are 30-something black folks, one a woman, the other I BELIEVE was a man, I never got the chance to see because the expression on the woman's face drew me in. She wore a neck brace that went entirely around her head (sort of like sparring headgear) and she had a singular look on her face that is hard to describe. It was a look that I had never seen on anyone's face before, and yet somehow I knew exactly what it was. It was the look of someone that was dying matter-of-factly. If that doesn't make any sense, maybe this will: It was the look of someone who wasn't sure whether or not she was going to get to the hospital in time, but who had lived through so much hard luck in her life that her fear was tempered with resignation. It was a mix of fear and "It figures." Very sad, deeply, deeply sad was the look on her face, so sad that it made all of the sadness I had ever felt seem petty and insignificant in comparison. Part of me wanted to reach in and hold her like a baby, tell her that she was going to be alright, that help was on the way. Somehow, I knew she would not have appreciated the percieved indignity of a strange little white man comforting her in front of all of these strangers, so instead I look into her eyes with genuine compassion. She doesn't see me. I think she was watching her life pass before her eyes and thinking, "it figures, don't it just?" That's when the missus woke me up to tell me about her dream. 021004 ... just wondering how do you come up with this stuff? 030627 ... Dafremen Substance abuse mainly I guess. 030627 what's it to you? who go blather from