i_will_be_alone_forever tyler waters It's true. I could see it happening. ** aside ** She could've had me completly. But she didn't. And why? I dunno maybe you can answer this: a girl looks like she likes you. sleeps with you. says she likes you. stares deeply into your eyes. makes you love her. Theeeen.. just when it's too good to be true, it's too good to be true. She stops talking to you. All love that was in her voice before is now gone. You send her messages, cards, an orchid.. 14 sonnets [thats 198 lines of 10-syllable iambic pentameter] cut your heart out and let it drip on paper. She says she's busy. Doesn't have time for you. The only times she talks to me is when she needs/wants money. It's almost like blackmail.. almost extortion. Almost like putting a price on the relationship..... but yet it's none of those things. It's supporting her. The only thing is, she won't support you back. Kinda sucks when all I want is 3 words... maybe a roll in her life outside of "financial support". It makes me sick. ** /aside ** So why will I be alone forever? My mind is preoccupied with this one person who is clearly either using me, or... no wait, probably just using me. (If she is, then my opinion of the opposite sex will be almost destoryed and my wall will continue to grow) The longer I cling to this person, the longer my glass heart will fall when she says she really doesn't want to see me anymore. I know it will happen, and when it does it will be shattered. I know I haven't the self-esteem to pick up the pieces, so that leaves someone else... and I really wouldn't want to force that upon someone.. So there the shardes of my heart will sit and cut the feet of those that walk around me... unless they've got shoes, then im fucked. Anyway, Who in their right mind would even attempt to pick up a million pieces of glass they didn't break, not to mention trying to glue the damn thing together... It's beautiful, with intricate layers and everything... But it's about to be shattered and when it does, I will be alone forever. Nothing but an angry bitter alone person. 040926 ... florescent light many women are attracted to alone,angry, bitter men. it's the whole 'I'm going to be the one that will change him' faction. the bad boy, the rebel why, I'm getting turned on just thinking about it. 040926 ... god i will be on loan forever 040926 ... tyler waters you can't change me the most change is making my leer point in your direction. it's not even that hard. im not a rebel. im a gentleman. who would want to fix something that isn't broken [ooh, only on the inside] 040927 ... stork daddy why you would be treated any different than the rest of us? 040927 ... me I don't expect to be treated differently. I expect the same distance you would treat any stranger with. Im merely stating a fact. I will be alone forever. 041002 ... suicidalchinadoll I think, this would somehow justify the things you said. put you in the right. but I won't. nor will I slip nor will I fall nor will I come to the end of my frayed ropes because of you and the things you say I shouldn't still be sore about this. but I trusted you more than any other human being alive. having you turn around with a face of contempt, hurt.. but watching you run, while throwing things behind you, made me sick. 041002 ... unhinged and that's okay with me right now my heart is full with him and he doesn't even know it and that's okay with me 041002 ... magicforest is resigned and complete 041002 ... neesh if i have any say in the matter... 041002 ... shower singer So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y'know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids won't walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man!" they'll shout. 041002 ... god awesome plan. you should get a sprite t-shirt too. that'd be the shit. 041003 ... globalfruitbat hey, friends quote, nice work! i love it when people quote stuff i know.. and hey, Ty? you won't be alone forever. I know you. I know how awesome you are. and I kow that we've totally drifted apart since, like, th eleventh grade. but you are my TA buddy, one of my first friends from high school. you are the one who got me here. we've had some awesome, deep conversations. and i want to bring you out of this dark place you are in. you have so much in your heart to give to someone. you deserv someone who can take it all in and see it. (and hey, sorry about that deal, man. I would've waited till after the end of november, but...) 041007 ... tyler waters ...but you found someone else. It's ok. I know it would've never happened. (thats the low self-esteem talking) You don't know me as well as you think you do. I mean, you could say that about some obnoxious loudmouth, because you always know what's on their mind/mouth. But for quiet folks, it's different. You can never quite sure.. This dark place is my life and it's ending one depressing second at a time. I drifted away because no one noticed me drifting. Everyone was getting closer and I was an outsider... and seriously, I hated most of our grade. You're right about my heart though. 041008 ... smurfus rex you might need some alone time anyway to reorient yourself. or maybe to focus on something you've been putting off for awhile. but not forever. even Li Mu Bai put the Green Destiny aside for a bit. see: on_being_single. 041010 ... tyler waters FOREVER 041107 what's it to you? who go blather from