jennifer I really wanted things to work out between me and the ming's girl

but, if it can't be
it's my own fault
Tank i started reading a book tonight called "After Silence: Rape and my Journey Back" by Nancy Venable Raine. by the third page of the introduction i was in tears. by page ten i found the courage to finally write down my own experience. it's been seven years, but it is not too late...

i understand a lot more more now about the far reaching implications of that night than i ever dreamed possible...
yoink my penis is small so i make up for it with witty comments that i put off as those of another 010519
yoink okay fine, i admit, my previous entry was a lie.

i guess i'm eternally ruined
yoink comeback possibility number two)
hey bg, i think you put your entry under the wrong name.
m_e nope. i have a fantastically large penis. 010520
madra dubh well
you might as well have the

in pocket had
small change
broken cigarette
and a lottery ticket

written on it was

"...the murder sleeps light..."
"...turn the key..."
"...and leave..."
Toxic_Kisses I wish I could confess to my mom I'm preggerz, tell her I'm w/ Him, the 33 yr old guy she consitters her friend. I wish I could confess feeling nothing for Him, and yet I still go under the pre-tense of a friend. Its not my fault! how waz I to know that even if the guy ur w/ iz fixed that theres a 5% chance that the operation wont stay for ever like its supose to? Its not my fault that his emotions run deep for me. The word love scares me, yet he lets it slip some times, I never lied to him about my feelings, he knows there not az deep az his, but he doesnt know I can't stand hearing his voice any more, that I can hardly stand him any more, I want out, but I dont want to hurt him. I want to tell mom, but again I don't and can't hurt her. 011009
mister mourning i'll tell it to my dashboard 011009
feeling horrible now that its done on tuesday, i went out with my friend. he's always been my friend. i have a boyfriend, but me and this friend go way back. we don't like each other but we always joke about how we are absolutely perfect for one another, how we should be dating and we should get married later on in life: it's a running joke.
we drove around smoking and listening to bjork, turning the words of our conversation over in our heads. our silence was a ready sign that something was not right. finally he turned to me and said "we should be dating", followed by "we should really date for like 20 minutes", followed by "i'm really horny", then "how about you blow me."
so i did. and he felt me up while i did it. and he was driving. and afterwards he said he felt slightly bad because i had a boyfriend. i said what my boyfriend doesn' know won't hurt him.
we smoked a cigarette. and drove home, acting as if nothing had happened.

i feel horrible. i cheated on my boyfriend. and i love him. i really do. and i dont like my friend whom i performed fellatio on. i don't. i just like to suck his dick. and i feel horrible.
i feel horrible now that its done ... 030724
delial I admit it. I do.

I have for a couple years now.
Though at first, it was only a spark, only a dim hint of color...but now it's brilliant, it's intense, I can't hide it.
It's engulfing and hard to breathe with it, but I let it swallow me whole. While at times it feels like it's doing more harm than good, the majority of the time it brings me life.
If only it had some consequence. [or does it?]
Instead it's something I just keep to myself.

Shouldn't something so precious be shared? ...spread across a canvas we could both share...
an image I can't make without you.

I guess I'm the artist in this, though, and you're more interested in facts_and_figures.

But anyway, yes, to answer her question, I am. Totally. I_admit_it.
white wave there is no white wave imposter 040404
minnesota_chris Morning, Grace. Go to church today? 040404
grace is full of grace my home is my temple and my church. sunday is my day of rest and a day to reflect on spiritual things. and to give thanks for for the blessings in my life. 040404
minnesota_chris sleeping in in other words 040405
tarp I dont think I could ever explain it to him..ever. 060817
gun YOu don't have to. 060817
Farool I witnessed a crime and I will say nothing. I would do it again given the chance, but it was a hard choice to make. 070416
Ouroboros i dont think he heard me 070417
. my cat is the primary reason
i'm still alive

everyone else
could heal.
manny_madness and I love you.
and I love you.
and I love you.
fuck i really shouldn't love you too.
I shouldn't love you more
but i do.
because you are the greatest and i'm terrified that will never change.
I am so very thankful that I can't ever tell you any of this. That who you are is built-in protection against having to put it all on the line.
jane even after this confession
there is no catharsis
G Tony She used to call me her monk.

When we first hooked up, I asked whether making out with one's monk is kind of like going to confession.

She said, "this is a confession," as she guided my right hand under her shirt.
what's it to you?
who go