dental_hygiene_tips The Schleiffen Man Maintaining an entire mouthful of 32 healthy teeth can be a daunting task. Instead, just focus on 10 or 12 of your favorites. Toothbrush technology has made remarkable leaps in recent years. Select a toothbrush so advanced, you have no clue how to use it. - a la www.theonion.com If, while flossing, your gums begin to bleed, give them at least six months to heal before attempting to floss again. Befriend a tiny African bird with whom you can develop a symbiotic relationship in which he picks fragments of food from your teeth. Avoid patronizing dentists who received their degrees from the University Of Berlin Dental School between 1932 and 1945. To reduce wear and tear on your teeth, stick to soft foods like pudding and frosting. Contrary what today's kids think, it is not cool to have Shane MacGowan teeth. Remember those red tablets they used to pass out at school that, when chewed, revealed the invisible plaque on your teeth? Those were so cool. Brush in the morning and before bed, as well as before and after every meal. Quit your job if necessary. Brushing should always be done up and down, not with violent stabbing motions. If Toothopolis is threatened by the Cavity Creeps, immediately activate the alarm that shouts, "Cre-est!... Cre-est!" If you are a denture wearer, avoid soaking them in Coca-Cola overnight. An electric toothbrush is an excellent choice if you are such a lazy fuck that you can't even move a toothbrush up and down. Dentists have built an entire industry on the perception that they and they alone can provide dental care. Come on, use your common sense. 000928 ... Wayne For some good fun, go to the yellow pages and look up all the dentists. Choose two. Phone one and set up an appointment using the name of the other, as if he is a new patient. Continue looking up dentists and setting up appointments until you are ready for a snack (something sugary, of course). 000928 ... tourist Opt for Nitrous Oxide for every proceedure. Even everyday brushing. It's not for the pain, It's a reward for going to the dentist in the first place. 001220 ... bird(marathon)mad We can make this easy or we can make this difficult. I want you to tell me, now... Is it safe? 001220 ... Rhin I am a little obsessed with my teeth. My mouth is worth roughly $12,000, and my mother loves to remind me of this, every time I place something sugary between my lips. However, I don't drink soda's. My dentist, orthodontist, endodentist, and hygienist, told me that it is going to break down the enamel on my teeth, and asked me to stop drinking carbonated beverages, so I did. I am such a good girl. I brush my teeth with a soft tooth brush, in an up and down motion, for approx. 3 minutes, after each meal. I use 2 feet of floss afterwards. I love that stuff! I also brush my entire tongue, and sometimes the roof of my mouth. All that aside, one thing I have always wondered about, is 'swallowing'? What does this do for my teeth? Is it healthy? It surely can't stain my teeth! As far as that goes, what about calories? I would love to ask my Dentist/Ortho. these questions, but he would probably document the conversation, in his next newsletter, and considering my mother, and well, this is a damn small town, so scratch that idea! Oh well...*sigh* Your wondering what my dental hygiene tip is? Well, take care of your dogdamned teeth! I do. I'm as equally obsessed with what goes on my feet, which is why I have dozens of pairs of shoes, so why wouldn't I care even more, about what passes between my lips?! So should you! 001220 ... tourist Damn I just saw Warheads Sour Toothpaste With the dare you to brush 50 seconds rinse cup, sitting on the checkout rack at Wal-mart! What the Hell is that all about? 001220 ... Megan I inherited my mother's bad teeth. I've given up. I want to cry every time I think about it..... it's not that they're rotting out of my head or anything... It's the thought that they will, no matter what I do. Dental hygiene tip: Don't kill yourself over your teeth. I hope I follow my own advice..... =/ 001220 ... silentbob i hope i follow your advice too, because i have bad teeth and i hate them. 001220 ... twiggie everyone says i have chiclet teeth cos they are shaped like...you guessed it, chiclets. therefore, i don't like showing people my teeth. and i hate going to the dentist because they talk about how wonderful my teeth are and how straight they are even though i never had braces and i lie about flossing every day just because i can. so ROWR. 001220 ... silentbob damn you yessi now when i meet you i'm going to FORCE you to show them to me mouhahahahaha 001221 ... jessica rose well...well...maybe i'll sew my lips shut so you can't! 001221 ... silentbob Oh, well i wouldn't want your phobia of me seeing your teeth to dissuade you from coming to meet me. 001222 ... twiggie just as long as you don't make a big deal of it i don't care. i talk too much anyway, so you can't really miss them. 001223 ... Megan I wonder if anyone even knows where the name yessi came from.... yessi did you tell everyone at SA? I swear, some day you're gonna be famous and your alias will be yessi. and all the little people who knew you before will say, I know where she got that name! random thought... Oh, and dear? You suck. I bet the only reason you have chiclet teeth is because the 50 yr old watermelon headed telemarketer who stalked your house and finally met you at the moa put a spell on you..... I mean, it would have had to have been before you were born, but I just had to stick all that in there..... 001223 ... jessica rose i can't even remember who came up with the chiclet teeth thing. i think it was my friend marissa. and then when someone finds out its "awwww cute look at her little teeth!" and i don't think very many people know where yessi came from. i finally gave up and realized there's nothing i can do and you are going to call me that no matter what. i don't feel like explaining the story any more though. 001224 ... silentbob Yesterday i looked at my friend jesse's teeth and i said, "Do you have any chiclets?" and he got mad at me, it was funny 001224 ... jessica rose that made me laugh. 001224 ... god don't eat bones 011030 ... god adom 011102 what's it to you? who go blather from