conversations_with_the_self Kurama “Why are you sitting here by yourself?” “Because I want to be.” “What? No one wants to be by themselves. It’s human nature to cherish interaction with each other.” “….Are you for real?” “I’m serious! It takes work to build trust. It takes work to develop relationships with other people, but we do it anyway. We’re all fundamentally lazy and selfish people; we’re not gonna do anything that takes work unless there’s something in it for ourselves.” “Fundamentally lazy and selfish? That’s a bit cynical coming from -” “Hell, even people who create imaginary friends. They take the time to invent people that they can talk to, cause either they’ve failed at establishing those relationships with other people or just don’t want to try.” “But you just said that we cherish interaction with each other. ‘Each other’ doesn’t include imaginary people.” “Well, okay, most of us need it to be with other real people. But we all want interaction of some kind.” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “So tell me; what’s your definition of life?” “That’s a pretty random question.” “It’s a great way to initially get to know someone. Life has a different meaning for different people. How someone sees life is a good way to see how they think about stuff. Like, me for instance. I define life as emotion.” “Emotion?” “Yeah! Think about it. Everything that you do is decided by your emotions. Anger, joy, frustration, sadness, whatever. Life throws you something, and you emote. You feel, and those feelings determine what you do next.” “So…reaction, then. Life is nothing but reacting to situations?” “Not necessarily, and that’s the beautiful thing about it! You can feel without there having to be something you’re reacting to.” “Ok, explain that one. I don’t see how I can be angry without something having made me angry.” “Well, not anger. That’s a purely reactive emotion. Frustration, regret…all are just reactive. They’re defined as being emotive reactions to a stimulus. But think about happiness. Haven’t you ever been happy without having a special reason to be happy?” “Not that I can remember, no.” “That says more about you than it does about the nature of happiness.” “Oh, shut up. Say I have felt that way. Say I just woke up and felt like being happy for no reason. Wouldn’t that in itself be a reason?” “Maybe, but nothing actually happened to make you feel that way. ‘No reason’ is not a reason. But it’s your turn.” “I never said I was actually playing this game with you.” “Oh come on! I told you mine!” “A series of moments.” “What?” “A series of moments. That’s all life is. A long sequence of moments held together by a…thread. Not something as strong as a rope, or as durable as a chain. A fragile, tiny thread. Easily breakable.” “And you called me cynical. Do any of these moments have any significance to you?” “Maybe the big ones, like my birth. But otherwise, they’re all just moments. This, right here, is just us having a moment that’ll only be overshadowed by the next one. And then that one will be overshadowed by the one after it. It’s a cycle that goes on until you die.” “Overshadowed? That implies the next one will be better than the last.” “Not really. Just more recent. The human brain is going to have clearer memories of more recent moments. Thus the older ones get faded out for the newer ones.” 080705 ... fiano too far, so far that garbage starts coming out of my mouth. It it really necessary to be so unkind? And anyway, words do not kill people, if you want to hold on to your grudges and mistakes and never forgive anyone you are contributing to darkness. It is not protective towards yourself to hate people, it destroys your soul. As for "friends" i don't need them, i have myself. 080706 ... They call me Truth I would have to say that I would have to agree with both. Life is a series of moments in which we react to and interpret. A moment is not something tangible, its an idea, its something that we conceive. We live in a constant stream, there is no separation between one moment and the next except for our perception that is the knife that cuts and separates them. These cuts are directly linked to our emotions, the way we interpret things and ultimately how highly we rate and re-rate them in the series of moments. For example, i may view the moment my father died as a greater moment than the moment my dog died and that moment may stay in my mind longer than other moments because of the emotions attached to it. There really wasn't a moment, but an event in the constant stream that causes you, through your perception, to separate it into a single moment. A particular uneventful day would not seem momentous and it would be harder to find a moment in it. But to interject an addition to this conversation (lol) i believe life is more than just a series of moments or just emotions, its meaning. Its the meaning that you apply to moments and feelings. Emotions can simply be bodily reactions or they could be spiritual awakenings depending on what you believe about the emotion, depending on the meaning you give to it...So life is meaning, and emotion, and moments. Life is movement and constant motions in waves. Apparently life has a lot of M's in its meaning, but of course this is the meaning that I attribute to life. Life is also paradox. 080706 ... Syrope tapes, alanis morissette i am someone easy to leave even easier to forget a voice, if inaccurate again, i'm the one they all run from diatribes of clouded sun someone help me find the pause button all these tapes in my head swirl around keeping my vibe down all these thoughts in my head aren't my own wreaking havoc i'm too exhausting to be loved a volatile chemical best to quarantine and cut off all these tapes in my head swirl around keeping my vibe down all these thoughts in my head aren't my own wreaking havoc i'm but a thorn in your sweet side you'd be better off without me it'd be best to leave at once all these tapes in my head swirl around keeping my vibe down all these thoughts in my head aren't my own wreaking havoc 080707 ... They call me Truth My Self:You can't run anymore. It is time for you to face yourself in the mirror and not look away. This is who you are. You had relationships to distract, to perform your way out of looking at yourself, truly and deeply. Now you know that I am here waiting for you to look, for you to discover, for you to love me the way you have loved everyone else. I am you. You are me. Let us try to become one. Me: I will try. My Self: No. You will. 081226 what's it to you? who go blather from