say_you_love_me Anne Sexton "and we will take a supper together and that will be that." 011219 ... oren you_love_me 011219 ... sweetheart of the song tra bong More than you ever have before. 011219 ... Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge & [fucking] mean it dont just say it to make me stay cuz you [think] you need me & its what you know i really wanna hear [fucking] [think] neXt time 011219 ... she i love you 011219 ... hey now! i love you too 011220 ... Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge & i love U more than love could ever know her self 011221 ... Mahayana: Zakah: Sangha Jewels of Refuge ... and please let it be more than just a life loooooooooooooooong friend, i want that too but i also want so much more within the all of you say you love me for loving you loving yourself say you love me for loving you loving yourself and how in those gestures i began to love me 2 say you love me and please let it be [just let it be] 011221 ... James T. McRae And to have me hear it. 020419 ... silentbob and slap my ass 020419 ... mahayana ohwhat blessedness has enraptured me with their warmth & compassion for i have never had to whisper in such enticing tendencies ... say_you_love_me for i discern, my love, i am to be on familiar terms & it is in this knowingness that i have been redeemed in life, renewed, rebirthed... you beheld the phoenix within me, when all i sought to accomplish was lay down upon the ashes ... and withdraw in the sootiness of the charcoal-filed ambers save for you the most beauteous essence drew me together, ever so amorously, in the vein of a shell on a beach ... whose beauty you could perceive... even through all the shadowy waves of ashes, marred stones, & cryptic brushwood which pointed elsewhere, you lead yourself on into me & there you shall forever ever be 020420 ... kerry then kiss me till my lips fall off 020421 ... please again [with your eyes] 020614 ... who i am doesnt matter anymore Sounds like now your blaming me. we were young so get over it. i needed somthin to hold. i needed a face to see. we got old. i needed to step into the world instead of holding on to our cord. i told you a thousand times i love you. and you only began to belive me when it was too late. you yelled at me, i knew it was done. I needed my space, let me be, i needed to see everything to be free. i thought u understood. i thought it was the best for you as well. and im pretty sure it was. even when i was ready to begin a new kind of relationship with you, when i was able to show u what id seen, who id been. you threw me away. the one person i thought understood, the one person i wanted to turn to. maybe i shoulda thought about your feelings, your thoughts. BUT THATS WHAT I DID FOR A YEAR AND A HALF. it was all YOU. and i was fine with it, i was happy that it was you. and when i needed me, you wanted nothing to do with it. so now its all my fault. now im not worth it. your better then that, right? dont swallow your pride. almost 3 years later and its STILL ALL ABOUT YOU. because for some reason i cant forget. for some reason that door hasnt shut. i hate that door. i hate whats keeping it open. i hate that your just a fucking memory. but thats what you wanted. and thats what you always get. 031017 ... nomatter swimfan 031017 ... megan it is in those i see that i admire and adore 031018 ... Death of a Rose without saying it 031018 ... TalviFatin "Kristen Marie...do you love me?" I felt like a deer in the headlights of a semi going 100mph. "I plead the 5th..." My secret...a chance to let it out and reveal another submissive stomach again. Oh how I wanted to softly say "yes...I love you..." But something stopped me. "Say it...are you going to tell me?" Perhaps its the fact that I'm not sure if he returns the feelings? I certaintly dont want to leave myself open to that kind of torture. To let him know I love him and then not have it returned. "...Let me guess...you dont want to tell me you love me because you're afraid of not hearing it back and then you would have wasted those emotions for nothing..." Exactly. Maybe I'm being selfish about it...maybe I keep playing hesitant checkers...Its my jump, but only if he jumps first... "Kristen...Are you in love me?" He reminded me of a child on X-mas eve...probing questions of whats truely under that tree. "Thomas...Are YOU in love with me??" He had nothing to say...and it hurt. His breathing suggested there was an answer behind his lips, but he kept it hidden away. Obsession. Maybe its an advanced form of obsession and need to be held. I, myself, am not so sure...Him asking was like vocalizing the query in my head. "Tell me." His piercing blue eyes hiding behind those long lashes of his...make my insides scream. They make me want to confess everything and put myself at his mercy... But I wont. Not today... 031018 ... J-Alfred Had I said that, had I done this, So might I gain, so might I miss. Might she have loved me? just as well She might have hated, who can tell! (I'm quoting to keep my own thoughts at a distance. Of course. You know this, knowing me.) Love? You? I thought we agreed never to reveal the surprise ending. Besides, it was so long ago. And here I am in the middle of the night reading and re-reading Letters I've Written, Never Meaning to Send and you have no idea. No idea that if I want to, I can conjure feelings and memories long faded to near texturelessness. How's that for a word? Creating them helps me delay the inevitable. But here it comes. So, in answer to your question, "why do you continue to be nice to me even when I am mean to you?": The answer ten years ago was not "I don't know." The answer was "Because I love you." 050203 ... . on second thought, don't - because you didn't 050204 what's it to you? who go blather from