chelsea yoink likes the way my shirt fits loves being with me 010806 ... eddie testing 020903 ... eddie monster dripping with semen withered and weak revel with demons cover unheard screams you've left me here drifting threw places you've shown me places we've been feelings unspoken all that's true your fishhook kiss has been a lie has been a wish all the hell you've put me threw tell the truth how could you? sweet cheeks blush you reel me in your big catch fighting again my precious liar convinced to believe sorrows an action not a feeling i would never bother you i would never promise to if i say that word again i would move away from here i am walking in the piss always knew it would come to this she just wants to love herself things have never been so swell and i have never been so well self help shut me out want your way didn't notice i was gone now you want me to stay i'm all alone what you knew was never really here i've gotten so far without you memories and nightmares ingest me as i lay without an amnesiac lapse your undertow drags me away 020903 ... eddie monster ...My life is a dream. To some it could only be a nightmare. Sometimes it's even a nightmare to me, though often i could sleep forever in my world. Have you ever been in the middle of a great dream, and your alarm clock begins to go off? You never know how that dream would have ended... We decided to see Butthole Surfers on a rainy April night. "This rain is going to flood the whole fucking world if it don't slow down" That was Adrians take on the weather. I could care less. I was trying to see how far i could slide on the concrete with my docs on. We skated so much earlier today. Ditched school and went downtown. There was this stupid bum in the underground mall sleeping and we woke him up doing rail slides down the stair rail. He got up mumbling and screaming about, 'where a bum gotta go ta get a little gaddamn sleep round here." I walked over and cocked my board back and swung right at his face. He really smelled fucking repulsive. I stopped my board about a inch from his face and he started to wine and cry and mumble some bullshit. Me and Adrian just skated off laughing our asses off. "That was the funniest shit i ever saw." "Yea." "Can't a bum go get a gaddamn sleep around here," i mocked kicking an empty beer bottle like a punter. Anyway, my fucking legs are killing me. I get these agonizing shin splints whenever i ditch school and skate all day. I'm paying for it in the pit. A couple beers didn't do much help. It feels like the muscle is tearing away from the bone in my shit and my calves feel like they've been pounded with a mallet. Every kick and stomp shoots acid threw my neurotransmitters. 020903 ... eddie monster Some punk, writhing with animosity about who knows what, just stole the stage. Nothing new. He just wants some space. Wants everyone to know he exists because maybe sometimes he forgets. God only knows how many times i've been there. He's got on this ancient looking subhumans T-shirt with tattered black Levi's tucked into military issued combat boots. His hair is bright green with oily spikes and beams of red, green and blue light reflect off the jewelry in his face. Spinning, swinging and kicking his boots up high like a kid kicking a can threw a apartment complex, the crowd recedes. Everyone watches as he beats the ghosts that haunt him before merging again into one gyrating circle of disaffected youth. 020903 ... blown cherry You know when writing affects you in such a way (a positive way) that you know there will never be any words to describe it or do justice to that feeling? 020903 ... eddie THE BEACH CATCHER IN THE RYE WUTHERING HEIGHTS THE COUNT OF MONTE CHRISTO FIGHT CLUB HEARTS OF ATLANTIS just a few favorites 020904 ... eddie monster surely your not referring to my little nothing? although i know i'm on to something 020904 ... eddie thanks anyway i think 020907 ... . fuck_yeah 020923 ... eddie monster These two pig-alley girls, Sandy and Jade, came home with us after the show. I don't know where Chelsea is; it's three in the morning already. Sandy ironically has jet black hair and Jade has articulate tattooed sleeves on both of her arms. I'm trying to focus on something. Something in the corner of this girls eye; something in the corner of Sandys mind. It's just something i'm always doing. Looking for answers to questions that no one has figured out how to ask. In the dimness of the blacklights her black makeup leaves empty craters where her eyes and mouth should be. Finding her mouth with mine i feel the gates of my Gothic heaven, evoked in my midnight dreams so often, open up. "You don't know what your doing to me." "Oh yeah I do" she mumbles threw my lips. On the bed behind me Jades already sucking Adrians dick. Drunk from the intoxicating smell of lust dragging threw the air like a heavy fog, we bite and choke at each other, savoring the sadistic feelings and emotions of pain and pleasure. In the end we all sleep in damp pools of each others' blasphemy. 021011 ... xXL eddie you GOTTA love it! 040809 ... pete i always pronounce the 'a' even though i know its not supposed to be 040809 what's it to you? who go blather from