i_am_becoming all of my bad parts ...largely incapable of typing properly as evinced by "i_an_becoming" 031228 ... x even when i'm right with you, i'm so far away 031228 ... blackwidow I can try and get away/ but I strap myself in I don't want to listen but it's all too clear 040801 ... kx21 Oops... becoming a slave of dollars_and_cents... Why_not? 040801 ... unhinged in the gap between thoughts, the empty space where one has ended and the next is yet to begin... we are in a perpetual state of becoming, the bardo of becoming, attached to our impermanent suffering, addicts of our own misery. we are becoming entrapped, locking our own cell. our minds are the architects of our reality. 040801 ... tessa ... more and more used to this state of change. I AM becoming. 040802 ... oldephebe well put unhinged 040802 ... zeke the perpetual process of the future becoming now. 040802 ... unhinged not really my words, but a paraphrase of sogyal rinpoche from the tibetan book of living and dying you should get that book pheb. you would appreciate it. i've had it for years, but wasn't in the correct frame of mind to receive it until this summer. spiritual weird to think not much more than a year ago i would have thrown it all away wasted my mind on haze physically entrapped i don't understand anymore why they willingly place themselves there i am becoming more alive altering your own perception is more powerful than you think 040804 ... z more like myself every day. 040812 ... (z) (solitary, like a bee) 040903 ... suicidalchinadoll listless 040904 ... laced i am becoming: the free floating purity of infinite truths the nights i stroll through and songs i sing two to four am more of myself 040904 ... pete re-evalutated 040904 ... witchesrequiem melted... and I hate it! Hail the Ice Queen! 040905 ... () (is becoming now.) 041208 ... (z) (it is a noun) 041208 ... z everything happens everywhere at once 050201 ... (z) (i am a becoming) 050521 ... jane poesis 050522 ... TK . ..the nothing I was always ment to be.. . 050523 ... Doar solitary out of habit 050617 ... Gods lil Fukker ...all things envied 050617 ... nomme) how becoming of you 050617 ... Gods lil Fukker it's from a song not from myself. 050617 ... nomme) my blathe was in response to the title of the blathe) 050617 ... Gods lil Fukker :-x i do so apoligize miss/sir 050617 ... kyree More and more myself. As I leave the rest behind. 050617 ... nomme) s'okay Gods lil Fukker 050617 ... kyree rather flippant in regards to monsieur asshole who led me on. good grief. repeats to self: 'kyree get over it. get over it. get over it.' 050617 ... a chaotic gift to idealism at least continue on. 050617 ... z still 060227 ... Bricks The product of my ever changing self image, like a malleable gelatanious substance. The reactions of others carefully analyzed and put through the grinder until a fine powder to be mixed with many others and swallowed reluctantly. I am who I think I am, and this will never change. Attempting to change your nature is an excersise in futility, I will be this way until I die. 060228 ... . . 060305 ... z remote 060830 ... nom i_am_something 061025 ... Palindromist I am becoming, am I? 061026 ... Christ without the cross Who i really want to be, outside of all the opinions of the world. i do not instead on stopping now. 061026 ... Christ without the cross correcting his idiocy I meant to say i do not intend on stopping now. 061026 ... They call me truth something. I am worried for the world. 061230 ... z abstruse 080408 ... Juicer Huge. 080723 ... past-ing always becoming, never being. i'd rather be a verb than a noun. 080723 ... dosquatch I_am_becoming all I never wanted to be. 080723 ... unhinged one of my earliest buddhist musings...was that really four years ago already? 080723 ... z jaded - again 090407 ... daf me..for the first time in my life. 110721 ... unhinged myself too. all my shambhala training this year and finally finding a good loving person to share my life with has definitely given me the courage to be who i am meant to be. i gave him my copy of the tibetan book of living and dying and will never see it again. in one of our stupid fights he asked me if he had anything of mine i wanted back and i said no. i think he needs it more than me, if he ever gets around to reading it. was that really seven years ago already? i've come pretty damn far in that short of a time 110721 ... TK ...a bit obsessive again. Cant help but wonder how much of this is habit and curiosity vs. actually genuinely caring. Wish I has a way to weigh and measure one vs. the other bc truly I cant tell right now. You know, I thought I'd be jealous, angry, hurt and all of those other fabulously positive emotions when they became serious, but shockingly I'm not. I truly am surprised by that. Oddly enough I'm actually happy for him, or to be more precise happy for them that they found each other. I always thought it was bunk, just out right bullshit when I'd read in books or see on TV where someone would say something to the effect of: "I love them so much that I want them to be happy ...Even if thats not with me" and yet thats exactly how I feel. I'm still kind of in disbelief at the fact that really truly _IS_ in fact a real thing, and not some kind of trite BS thing that ppl just say. I actually _DO_ feel this way, thats amazing, and highly unexpected. (Whoot go me!) However I need to pull back from this, stop checking up on him ~so~ much. Seriously, the creepy stalker chic thing, not cool. UGH, still not fair though, why the hell does he still have to be so freakin hot after all these years? This would be vastly easier if I did't still want to ride him like a wild bucking bronco *forlorn wistful sigh* Damn he's hot. *Closes the tab with his picture in it* . 140709 what's it to you? who go blather from