saturday_night cube Can't think of anywhere i'd rather be than right here. Drink in hand, listening to classic rock, baring my soul to you guys - sure that i'll say something that will embarrass me in the morning. Sounds like a party, doesn't it? ... 011222 ... sweetheart of the song tra bong Party on, cube. 011222 ... ClairE A party for one. a yrapt rof eno. 011222 ... ClairE Is_anyone_here_and_awake? 011222 ... Fire&Roses saturday night it all fell apart. perfection just seemed to fail, it's funny how it starts stealing your soul and then your heart. It's awful how it dies leaving empty broken lies. 011222 ... ClairE That was you, dude. And Sunday_morning, I suppose. 011227 ... little wonder i was drinking with some boys i didn't know. they bought us beer and cheap vodka. i only got a little tipsy. not enough. and we all sat around and watched the war, and clerks. and then we went to the other building. and we sat there for awhile. but she was so drunk...we went back. pretended to sleep. slowly got up to go back. she asked where we were going. we didn't say anything. just stood at the door. waiting. waiting. and then as she got up from the pull out bed we opened the door and ran like hell down the stairs. trying not to fall...still not walking quite right...and we were outside. we knocked on the door and she was after us. trying so hard to get in before she came but it was too late. so we walked inside with her...then we went back...smoked a cigarette. they smoked some pot. we watched another movie and i fell asleep under the slippery side of the sleeping bag. more boys came in during the night but i didn't hear them. we woke up the next morning so early and they didn't listen to me when we were trying to go back. no one pays attention when you're the only person who knows where to go. so we were lost. but we found our way. and then i sat there, for almost 2 hours, so tired but feeling fine. wishing i was going somewhere else. wishing i could just sleep for a little while longer. 020218 ... silentbob i wondered about betsy and emily while making an alkaline trio mixtape side A has Matt Skiba songs, side B has dan andriano songs. the funny thing about that is that dan doesnt have enough songs to fill up a side of a tape. not so much funny as sad and annoying. I'm going to try to fill it with tuesday. 020218 ... bethany live fever (evening)post 020218 ... Arwyn saturday_night_whore was all she'd ever be.... 020218 ... silentbob i tasted you you tasted me you were never my taste 020219 ... ClairE But it was Saturday night I guess that makes it all right And U say what have I got 2 lose? hips dance_party Prince rum white_Russian Of course I came back out to the porch to find her on a hammock. On the edge of the dance floor, the eyes that follow her are what make her glow. 031115 ... ee beep peep what do all of you usually do on one? 040306 ... silentbob tonight i am debating on going to see a girl, or going to see my friends. 040306 ... Piso Mojado the desert is calling 040306 ... girl_jane He's home, and that makes me happy. 040306 ... god is dead 041003 ... misstree the only difference days make in my life anymore is bus schedules and television programs. hoots from revelers outside make my heart tear in two as i sit in ashes and snow. 060506 ... unhinged i was so tired from friday_night and my class on_contentment at the meditation center that i was planning on having dinner and going to sleep early. then he called me and told me he got robbed on his way home on friday_night and that he was going to take all the pills he had and hope that he died. and of course i feel like it's all my fault. 101212 ... re_alisma no it's not your fault. at all. but you probably wish a lot that you could help him, causing you a weight and a guilt that can't keep going on.... so can you help him get help, somehow? 101212 ... sunday mornings are worse he sounds like a real winner. definitely a keeper. 101212 ... unhinged i don't know. after a year, it's hard to watch him choose to destroy himself over and over. i don't know if i can help him get help. i don't know. at all. he has to want it, and he doesn't seem to want it. at all. i have a habit of holding onto lost causes. i know what it feels like to seem like no one cares; i wouldn't wish that on anyone. 101212 ... silentbob I come home from my radioshow and spend the rest of the night editing the interview jessi and i did with julia. I erase all her ums and likes. I shrivel her context and make a new narrative. I repeat funny things she says aloud to myself and wonder what it is like to truly know her. After 8:30 I eat a burrito and word travels that my friends are at a party I didn't know about. And jessi is going to the party I did know about. What I do is watch rear_window in my underwear and tell myself I am in for the night and couldn't possibly do all of those other things, and that's ok with me. Tomorrow there will be soup. 140118 what's it to you? who go blather from