what_do_you_really_want jane cause i wanna know and this can be long term or short term, whatever you want to say here 021202 ... this includes myself i want people to stop annoying the fuck out of me. 021202 ... someone not happy I want to be someone else 021202 ... hailey to complete the metamorphosis, for it all to finally come together. 021202 ... dB I want everything to be different. I want everything to be better for everyone. I want a big milky way. 021202 ... no reason to know. that would be heaven. 021202 ... werewolf peanut butter and jelly the cap's on tightly, the jelly's cold. the knife seems so far away, the flavor so close. but i don't want a forgotten encounter, i don't want their lazy separation. i don't want to mix them in my mouth, an attempt at imagining what really wasn't. i want them to be together first, so that there isn't a moment from the first disclosure that they were not a unit in my mind. i go to the drawer, take off the twist tie, get a knife, a glass for milk. clearly p and j try to find a unity that anyone with eyes can just as easily see as not there. but my taste buds want to be fooled, when foolery is truth. i want bread. i want to smother them in bread. like a good life, like security, a mansion, the freedom of mouths waiting outside the bread like dreams, like wearing a blindfold and waiting for the touching down of hungry lips and teeth hard in their desire. that peanut butter and jelly won't see it coming. and people say peanut butter wears the pants because it's the only one people eat alone. but jelly's been there all along. it's just what parents aren't supposed to feed their kids. you'll get taken in for sending little timmy to school with a jelly sandwhich. because we've never come to terms with sweet things. they're dangerous. they're cavities. they're tummy aches. they're not long term. jelly is an orgy. peanut butter is a promise ring. peanut butter is just an excuse to eat jelly. together there is little guilt, there is actually forgetfulness. the peanut butter doesn't climb the roof of your mouth and fight your pace, your pleasure, and the jelly doesn't overwhelm you in the morning, when you need your teeth to not be brittle, when you need the people you sent away with a tummyache. nutty or smooth, jam or jelly, textures to take into account, different days of the week for some, lifetimes for others. but nobody can pass up a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, not a scientist or a poet or a terrorist. if nothing else, it's very metaphorical. that's what i really want. a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich at night when everyone else has gone to bed. when all the people who jarred the peanut butter and fruited the jam are fast asleep in their beds someone else might've made. i want to be able to push down thick peanut butter on receptive jelly in the forgotten hours of the night where two and three are about interchangeable. i want to stand barefoot in the kitchen with you sitting on the counter and enjoy what it would've been so much easier to skip over, but which is a reward like no other. the emergent qualities of life eloquently stated in colors in tastes uneasily housed in one name in two words, in a preposition. i want to tiptoe there. i want everything i need to be waiting. i want this to be what we measure good days by. peanut butter and jelly. 021202 ... dB that was beautiful dude. 021202 ... werewolf it tasted even better. 021202 ... strrrrrrrrring what_i_really_want 021203 ... jane yes, i already knew about the what_do_you_want but i really wanted to start my own get it going again 021203 ... jane okay i admit i didn't know about what_i_really_want 021203 ... jane hey, do you want to know what i really want? 021205 ... devalis all_i_want_to_do 021205 ... x 16 kittens 021205 ... krimilda to have lots of sex 021205 ... werewolf sure...tell me. bet it's not as cool as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich 021205 ... jane i bet you don't need me to tell you 021205 ... girl_jane To be 18 so I can go get my tiny itty-bitty firefly tattoo. 021206 ... devalis to know it's true and will last forever. and not to be the only half that thinks of it that way. 021231 ... oren Enough time to love. 080627 ... jane i want to be rid of my expectations. to not feel anxiety about my situations. to find internal peace. 080628 ... unhinged tonglen yoga mindfulness (i.e. learn how to breathe. learn how to let_go ) 080628 ... poet everything and nothing a time machine and some pizza 080628 ... daxle for you to come home. i had a fabulous weekend. i enjoyed having my other boy and girl stay over. but right now all i want is to hear your truck rumbling down the street and to feel your soft, warm skin next to mine. i've thought about it and decided that i will hug you even if you are caked in dirt from head to toe... sigh 080630 ... hsg you_know_how but just because it'simple does not imply it's easy. but do not confuse this with the issue being confusing. we say we're confused so we don't deal with the hard simple thing that's already clearly desired. why_cling_to_letting_go 080630 ... Soma I really want all of this to stop I'm so sick of never being happy I'm so sick of trying so hard to be ok I can deal with this on my own, i tell myself i want you to do the dirtywork i want you to stop wanting me i want you to HATE ME so i have a better reason to hate you 080630 ... hsg who? 080630 ... birdmad enough money to keep the_kittypocalypse and i well fed, new guns, a suitable and good looking replacement for my remaining teeth (the teeth are pivotal, my social life is kind of on hiatus until i can offer more than a close-lipped grin) 080724 ... xelda sleep. endless sleep. or maybe just 7 hours. or even 4. okay, I'd take 1 hour right now. 100208 what's it to you? who go blather from