overwhelm jennifer feelings crash into me like nightmares washing over me in hot jagged memories 000428 ... crimson My moods and surroundings Shift as waves do. Oh, the perilous waters of life. Sometimes I feel as though I have spiraled backward Into boundless cold waters With no trace of light or escape And a crushing pressure that Builds with every moment. 030819 ... divine madness unable to follow the current undeniably wanting not to just so I may get to you but you are taken by it and gladly I watch as you drift away and I, a solitary one, float 040121 ... broken axle Lunchtime. 040222 ... amy nada could be enjoyable, if it's not, like, a totally constant thing. if constantly overwhelmed, never having any fun. constantly making personal meaning out of things in an attempt to fight back. complexisaurus. boundaries are self-constructed, and brittle and easily collapsable. fragile ego. coping? right. the powers-that-be-in-the-psychosphere told me to just give up long ago. it's not maintainable. they are probably right, sad to say. unless a marvelous circus contraption of inspiration and assistance comes along. so my choices are to fight (on some level) or have faith in my survival. i keep it zen. (but pray and keep an eye out for circus contraption, for better or worse). maybe i'm just undisciplined, but somehow i think it's more than that. lacking true faith in *earthly* reward. or, i'm at a deficit in some areas and try to overcompensate in others. i know i'm not in debt, metaphysically. one could argue that it's greed. oh well. what can you do? (serious question). 100302 what's it to you? who go blather from