where_have_you_been
sirflaccid Last night, I found myself caught up in the intrigue of you. I haven't felt that strongly since the day we began to connect. 050420
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Freak i haven't felt so strongly about anything in a long time. it was that the book was just so damn good, the story, the facts, the history the absolutely perfect writing. Sometimes you read a book that has a story line that is so good you never want the book to end and although i couldve went on reading much longer everything about the ending and how the author finished the book made it so awesome. The author was amazing. Not only was the story line great but the first thought i had when I read the final pages was 'damn this is the most talented writer/author I have ever had the joy of reading'. I could go on and on about that book.

I finally felt passionate about something, it was very....reviving.
050420
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falling_alone i find myself forgetting
and not able to find time,
theres a play with a set out of place
and costumes that dont go along.
050421
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grendel joy_division

"decades"
050421
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Zoe you call me after 2 days of silence. where have you been? why is it that you disappear for days at a time. i'm your girlfriend, you're supposed to tell me everything. you want me to trust you but how can i when you leave and don't tell me? 050422
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anomalous shopping 050422
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sahba thats a very good question
where have i been
if only i could decode my own brain
i should be able to find out then
im freakin lost
LOST I SAY
lost where no one can find me
i cant find myself
blah blah blah
try and make sense out of something
it just doesnt happen
nothing lasts longer than i see it
jumping from this mood to that
like skipping songs on a cd
uncontrollable anger sometimes
a rage that burns me up from the inside
consuming everything
and then there is a moment
when all i see is a blurred emotion
weak and lonely
looking
striving to find that something to hold on to
so yeah
i would be useful if i found where i had been
050423
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continuous ache i miss the unquestioning faith of my childhood. it seemed that no matter what happened everything would turn out all right because it had to. things that could hurt you were kept out of reach.
now it seems like the entire world rests on the shoulders of soldiers of war (literally and figuratively). those people who can carry more, are burdened with the weight of others who cannot carry their own. they're made to walk much of their lives alone. the weak lean on the strong, and the strong must hold them and themselves. drag them towards the light at the end of their path. but what if there is no light? what if belief in the higher power is just a crutch for the strong so they can carry their heavy load till the end of the road? what if god was nothing more than a mirage in a desert of hollow deities? a cool drink of water when the wells had long since dried up? we're told to believe with absolute faith, but man is fallible, we practice nothing in perfection. especially faith in something we're not supposed to see until we die. and for not practicing in perfection we are supposed to fall into fiery lakes to burn forever? seems a little unfair. even given the history that god has always been a vengeful, spiteful, jealous god...all these traits that we are not supposed to posess. that's a little hypocritical if you ask me. in all the hardships i have met headon these past 9 years, the death, the heartache, the guilt, i have not found god, i've found myself. i found someone stronger on the other side of tragedy. though sometimes my burdens weigh me to the point of tears, i've still got my head up, i'm still trying to find that real oasis in this desert i've been travelling. it's not that i don't believe in something, i just don't know about some omnipotent god looking down. i've got to believe that we are the ones in control of our destinations, and god's just along for a joyride.
and if not, then where have you been?
050423
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innocent insect Claire had all but given up
When she and Edwin fell in love
She touched his face and shook her head
In disbelief she sighed and said
In many dreams I've held you near
Now at last you're really here

Where have you been?
I've looked for you for ever and a day
Where have you been?
I'm just not myself when you're away

He asked her for her hand for life
Then she became a salesman's wife
He was home each night by 8
But one stormy evening he was late
Her frightened tears fell to the floor
Until his key turned in the door

Where have you been?
I've looked for you for ever and a day
Where have you been?
I'm just not myself when you're away

They'd never spent a night apart
For 60 yrs she heard him snore
Now they're in a hospital
In seperate beds on different floors

Claire soon lost her memory, forgot the names of family
She never spoke a word again
Then one day they wheeled him in
He held her hand and stroked her hair
In a fragile voice she said

Where have you been?
I've looked for you for ever and a day
Where have you been?
I'm just not myself when you're away

Where have you been
Ive searched for you forever and a day
Where have you been
Im just not myself when your away
Im just not myself when your away

-Kathy Matthea
"Where have you been?"
050712
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.fallen useless 050712
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rubydee where_are_you_going? 050712
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somebody You have been WHERE?!? 080112
what's it to you?
who go
blather
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