endless desire sometimes_i_wish_people_would_just_be_spontaneous
i said to you
after you asked to kiss me again
because i was scared
i didn't want to mess this up
and i was very scared
to kiss you.
too scared to make the first move
i thought i could count on you for that
and i could.
because when i told you
in the darkness of my room
lying on my bed
in each others arms
i felt you move towards me
and i felt your lips on mine
so awkward for minute
but much enjoyed
and we kissed, until one gathered the nerve to move their lips open
it was you.
and soon you gathered the courage to enter my mouth.
and i was relieved.
i had gone numb
and i was counting on you to teach me how to feel again.
you taught me how to feel again.

its been three months since then
three has always been a good number
last night you told me
something i never knew--
that you were nervous then too
nervous out of your mind.
i never knew that.
you came across so confident
so sure.
and it was a confidence i needed
but i never imagined you were worried too.
you said it was bc you really liked me
and you didnt want to mess it up
and that on the first night
when i said, "i really want to kiss you now but i am too scared. . ." and made up some excuse. . .too scared to get too attatched for something that would never work, that it surprised you. and well it worked. and you kissed me on that second night.
and taught me how to feel again.

haha and i always claimed that that wasnt a hint. it was hint.
i love it when people are sponatneous.
Syrope you are so beautiful, it hurts to read your words :)

ferret ***hint hint!***

~~*** kitty ***~~~

*-*-*-* this cheese has lint on it! *-*-*-*

~~~~~ there were feet on here! ~~~~~
Dafremen Ok, spontaneous huh? Fine, anyone and everyone's invited to my pad between now and July 24th. After that I'll play dumb like I don't know what your talking about and you'll believe me. j/k : )

Email me if you're coming by. I live along the border of California and Mexico, just south of San Diego. I'll guide you in by phone.
The Spork ... and Combust.

Now that would be pretty neat, Well, at least as long as it wasn't me.
oldephebe Endless
your writing is such
equisite agony to read
and all of your erotic ambition
all of your arms outstretched to touch the unseen god ambivalence and eloquence
all of your gray rainbows
of holy light
I am undone
everytime I read
hold nothing back
*sorrow straps itself
*that thread may not apply
hold nothing back
the power of your
panoramas of pain
a beautiful soul
to be in such agony
i can't adequatley
convey ...
how beautifully
you paint
the paper
pipedream i agree, i agree- spontaniety is my middle name hee hee 030718
kiuruus so Dafremen, has anyone been by to visit? 030720
Dafremen I got one email saying they might, but they weren't sure what their friends had planned for the weekend. I wrote back telling em ok, but that I'd have to get a bit of notice so that I didn't make plans of my own. No response. 4 days and counting. Only two people that I've met online since I started up again in 93' have met me in person. Ice turned out to be a neighbor of mine. I could have thrown a rock into his backyard from mine. I knew him for a year online before I found out how close he lived. We met through a gaming group out of Kentucky. He is now curator of the world's only Dafremen museum which is located in a corner of his basement. (If his wife hasn't thrown it out yet.)

Yoda is a member of my Quake2 clan. He came from Indiana to see a slipknot concert in Peoria. Well, I rolled out the red carpet. He won't forget that visit anytime soon.

I'm a lot more broke these days, so the carpet's a bit shorter, but hospitality is the name of my game when guests come over.
megan just fuck me why not 030720
endless desire i hang my head low
because now spontaneous actions
just make my stomach twist.
and i wonder where to move next.

thanks for the kind words.
Sparticus be spontaneous 030829
Sparticus it feels wrong not holding your hand

it feels wrong not being able to tell you how i feel

it feels wrong not ending a conversation with "i love you"

now thats the worst

it feels wrong not being with you

it feels wrong not being spontaneous

be spontaneous, love

The Anti-Ironist...*thinks about smirking and then just absently scratches two day chin stubble*
haha im so funny more like bum fluff hey oE 040414
oE Yes I am quite funny. Especially in person, I've got these big brown eyes you could just stare into all day and this really pleasant tenor speaking voice...kinda collegial it's been said..
so how 'bout it..unmask yourself already
oldephebe bloody bud of the age blossoms in a burst of red into cerulean blue sky...

i think i'm trying to comment on post-modernism - but where's the subtle dig against orthodoxy and staid epistemological expectations?
what's it to you?
who go