the_kids_are_alright Grace it's making sense to me now it's not prejudiced just making a lot more sense to me now the oldest guy (here) seen as a mecca(no pun) of wisdom is 23 *nods i understand.. i'm older than most of you this makes a bit more sense to me now still sorry you hated that young girl,cristy she didn't deserve that ok,bye kids :) *shakes head.. No wonder.. No WONDER!.. 030506 ... grendel I'm 31. Until i was 15 and a series of events shook my faith more than i could recover from, i wanted to be a minister or a priest the harder i strove to regain my faith, the faster and harder the trials that shook it came I buried the last of my faith on a sunny October morning seven and a half years ago with my mother I've said it before and i must say it again. I hungered after faith, and when i prayed it was not the prayers of a selfish child wanting just what was best for himself. I looked to the scriptures and to the works of saints and scholars in some hope to understand what God wanted of me. The harder i fought to understand, the deeper i committed myself to the cause of faith and belief, the harder it became in the face of all the events as they played out before me. It wasn't the loss of my parents, each in their turn that broke my faith. It was the way in which i lost them, the long, slow decline of cancer. watching them over time becoming engulfed in a state of constant pain before the one small mercy of the last breath The sight of my father, his strength gone, confined to a shell of himself in a wheelchair, the sound of my mother trying to stifle her cries in the night from the pain ravaging her. those things struck the killing blow. So, Grace, never grant yourself the permission to mention my mother again when speaking to me. Watching them die the way they did was enough that i spent a lot of years being quite the opposite of what i had once aspired to. And now i am somewhere in between. The majority of my sins lie behind me, but yet i do not repent. 030506 ... x "cristy" no one over 23... i guess accuracy and truthfulness aren't qualities that a person believing in the bible would have 030506 ... magurk I find it hard to believe you are older than anyone here Grace, because your writing is very remedial. Perhaps you are, but then I'm left sensing your time on this planet has taught you nothing, if you're going to come to a place like this and hold your age over everyone's head. That, or you are just childish and dippy. None of your bullshit comes across as divine wisdom. I apologize if that offends you, but you're just going to have to get used to people saying whatever they like, if you're going to find any value in being here. 030506 ... niska *biting my tongue... biting my tongue...* 030506 ... niska UGH! i can't! grace, i think dafremen is the oldest person here. if he's not, then anyone has yet to contest it. and what does age matter? there are plenty of things in blatherworld that are far more worth reading than anything you have written. (megan's blather paper, for instance) hey, i'm not saying i'm hemmingway either, but who the fuck do you think YOU are? btw, the whole religious thing: not my thing... so let's not go there. i'm just talking about your ageism. (yes, i'm aware of the irony, if anyonyone wants to be redundant and point it out) 030506 ... Grace grendel -"So, Grace, never grant yourself the permission to mention my mother again when speaking to me." - I never mentioned "your" Mother I'm very sorry what you went through .. and them But I won't have that or anyone try to..clearly youre trying to,pin that on me,or anything.. If you wanted to summon sympathy, I understand.. If you wanted to do it 'my way",towards me,or trying to at 'my expense',which is what you were doing Grendel.. that's just speaking of where you are.. regarding some people I guess.. Perhaps thats even more sad.. - Taking your life pain to share is one thing.. Trying to associate it, 'with me' and string 'me' in with it is quite another.. I'm not sticking around to watch my name/me be judged and made fun of.. You dont know me at all,any of you You never even took the time I'll say I don't know you But I know right from wrong In trying to share 'your' opinions with me..'of' me.. you have sinned by trying to hurt me I have given my apologies to anyone I won't stay to apologise for things I havent done.. - I could talk to you..Grendel But I'm not sure you'd want to, or understand Or respect or appreciate it.. And not here.. I'm over 30 as well Even though your pains seem to have been a thing you may've, inadvertently, I dont know.. wanted to some how make me 'look' guilty for.. I'll still pray I am a Christian And Im very sorry for what you went through But,let me not change the ever false impression of me here judgements,false.. by saying I have compassion or care.. bye God Bless, Bye Bye . 030506 ... Grace re-run "-Oh yes, you may want to call the phone company Grendel or your Mom.. There's a phone-pole in your eye" 030506 ... stork daddy and then jesus said....let the children come to me...i recently read that. and all these years my parish priest had been misqouting it as and then jesus said...let father pat mcginty cum on the children. 030506 ... king kong NINJA and here's my night time prayer, dad with his heart, mom with her cancer, oh great god is this your answer? i'll ask no more questions, i'll sense no more the paper thin purgatory of conscience keeping me from the heaven of regretless being. god you humbled me there, i saw my own powerlessness, but if i gained anything, it's the knowledge that i must not restrain where i am a god, what power i do have cannot hinge on a permission that isn't forthcoming, that i am told is symbolic. as if the suffering i went through could be anything but literal. dear god. i have a closer relationship with you than i ever did before. 030506 ... Strideo blue_monday by chynna_clugston_major ... 030717 what's it to you? who go blather from