sleeping_pills *maryJane my boyfriend scared me last night as he downed 7 sleeping pills and the realization dawned on him- he's prescribed to take just half of one a night. i hoped he was mistaken at the amount - i could hear him shaking as he hung up the phone and i lay awake all night, pondering what should happen if i lost him - i wrote him letters i knew he might never see. i wrote him stories, i wrote him poetry... 001231 ... kx21 i_can't_sleep without e_bubble(s). 010101 ... here you go they are nice. it's a good thing they exist. 010823 ... sleeping pill thank me, for I am your savior. 011206 ... Jenna If I had access to the strong ones... I would not be here today. ... 011206 ... fuck shit damn hell I hear that. 011206 ... WingedSerpent for some reason the time i tried that, i just puked them back up. i'm just glad i didn't pass out face down in the bowl like that mexican actress back in the 30's. Lupe Velez, i believe? looking the way i do, though, it's not like i'd be trying to leave a beautiful corpse or anything. 011207 ... Mahayana: Zakah: [taking 1 now, just to get away, a trial period i 'pose] 011228 ... oren I finally figured out where the faint sounds were coming from. I cautiously opened my medicine cabinet and stared at all the little plastic prescription bottles. One by one, I picked them up and held them to my ear. Eventually, I found it. What were those noises coming from inside it? I turned the cap and opened it. Now the sounds were recognizable. There was no mistake about it. Snores. The little pills were sleeping. 011228 ... cube Oren's blathe is priceless. I doff my hat to you, sir... ³ 011229 ... oren Way cool... I've never had a hat doffed because of me! Way cool... 011229 ... kerry i doff my hat too...:) or i would if i was wearing one. it would be a green beret. what is doffing, anyway? i need some sleeping pills. 011229 ... reitoei i want to sleep. now lay me down to rest i pray the lock shall keep should i die before i wake i pray the bastard rot in hell. and i shall not die, but i shall not wake. sleeep 011229 ... scared barbie doll uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you all can suck a dick 020206 ... Syrope sometimes i wonder...why things seem to be out to fuck me up so badly. in the time before i left for college i realized that it was going to hurt to leave michael behind. everytime i saw him i was brimming with an inner sweetness...i was totally and honestly in love...yet the only things i remember him saying in those last weeks were "there are a lot of things i don't like about you...like the sleeping pills thing. why won't you take sleeping pills?" "you're not the most important thing in my life, i have other things i want to do." ...never a word about missing me or caring that i was leaving. not one. and yet, i can convince myself that, even after my Summer_of_confidence ...i deserved it 020823 ... bethany everynight and i'm building quite the immunity 020823 ... call_me_lydea They kill. If I could chose my way to die, I would chose them. Like the great Silvia Plath, only I wouldn't get caught using them for my death. Give the best feeling in the world. Nothing else matters, let alone could you feel it, and you just concentrate. Let your eyes close. Feel the tempting touch of sleep. See images before your eyes. Learn to control your visions. All you want to do is sleep. 020911 ... anti-confessionalist sylvia plath is worthless. the only reason she's gotten any notice is because of her suicide. she's a completely overhyped amateur poet who brought shoddy diary poems into the mainstream. yay! 020911 ... relax mr/ms anti-confessionalist dear "anti-confessionalist": sylvia plath was a successful and recognized writer long before her suicide, so your statement doesn't hold much weight. you're entitled to your opinion that she is "worthless", but you are not entitled to say that her suicide is the only reason that she got any recognition. p.s. if you are at all interested in reading, i think you ought to read "the bell jar" and her unabridged journals. seriously - you may hate her poetry, but believe me when i say the abovementioned works are brilliant. (i agree that her poetry is overrated. that is why if you are interested in reading you should give these a chance. i did/am, and it really changed my opinion of her writing.) you might snap back at me, or you might just ignore this. either way, realize that we all have our opinions on whether or not someone/something is "worthless". 020911 ... Freak You know you should have hid them from me. Don't worry, I didn't like them anyway. You didn't get the buzz like you get from dramamine before you fall asleep. They just made me feel slightly drunk then before I knew it I was gone. no fun 030901 ... crimson Round, pale blue I like them six at a time 031004 ... nomatter saviour 031004 ... ferret jeez, too many pill poppers that i hang out with. 031005 ... oblivionmachine i take them when im bored when im alone when im overwhelmed when you forget i take them all the time. 031127 ... Death of a Rose damn near every night 031128 ... unhinged the guilt makes it too hard to sleep. so i let my throat contract in the gulping motion of a swallow and suddenly i'm tired. suddenly these crazy weird dreams on the edge of my periphery distract me for awhile. good old melatonin. it's always reliable. last night i had a dream that i was making my way through levels of something with someone. don't remember exactly of what or with who except that it was like a treasure hunt and it wasn't with you. 090821 ... unhinged the dreams aren't so happy these days. i guess they really do pull out pieces of my subconscious to replay against the back of my eyelids. 090825 what's it to you? who go blather from