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junk_mail
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jennifer
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Greetings lucky winner! You hold in your hand your ticket to success and happiness. Yes, this simple envelope can transform your life! Do you need: A new car to compensate for your small genitalia? To impress people that you hate? A big house to hold all your useless junk that you're too insecure to throw away? Many exquisite vacations to escape the personal hell you've created for yourself? A faster computer to download all that pornography? A sexier spouse? Well, it can all be yours - everything you think you've always wanted and much, much more. All we ask for in return is a few magazine subscriptions and your soul. - Dick & Ed
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000508
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daanuh
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where did they get my name? it's allways just the same i think i'll change address i'm not a resident i'm not an occupant guess what i got today? envelopes i'll throw away pamphlets, brochures on clothes samples, tampons, nylon hose send it back from where it was sent they must take me for an idiot they can have it i don't want it they can keep it i don't need any junk mail -Circle_Jerks
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001114
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mmm
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give everyone who sends you chain mail this address: www.geocities.com/ifyousendchainmail/
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010423
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bijou
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i'm thinking of blocking emails coming from my little sister. she forwards me a bunch of bullshit. all from her friends "superpinkpower44" and "sillyFuzzybunny18" and "sparklefaceBaby99". ugh.
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010813
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whoknows
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increase you ejaculation by 581% i hate shit like that
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011208
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ClairE
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From: amiee@hugetitsxxx.co... Subj: Like big - puffy nipples - Check out these ba... From: Hey You, Dream of ME... Subj: Hey You, Dream of Me!
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011209
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ClairE
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Subj: I like it bald!
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020109
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oren
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Subj: Where have you been? Body: Click here to see my new pics! Subj: I missed you last night! Body: Click here to see my new pics!
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020109
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ClairE
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From: Rainbows! ---- Subj: Friends_are_like_Rainbows! From: Monkey ---- Subj: Monkey_Bad_Hair_Day!
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020115
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Teenage Jesus
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I got that crap as well.
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020115
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little fury bug
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Hot horny hunnies just waiting for you! Increase your bust size in 30 days! So you want a bigger penis? Lose 92 in 3 days! Single? want company? ---VAR-!! Make yourself feel younger! TEEN SLUTS! Home Loans and Refinancing at Low Rates! Farm girl delight!!! Free love here! .
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020618
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tourist
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It was a huge package filled to the brim with 1952 Willis Jeep parts. Now who in the hell sent me that? The mail man is really pissed at me now.
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020618
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ever chuckling
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gotta love the internet, eh? *** DR. YAHAYA MUHAMAD. ACCOUNT DEPARTMENT UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC. MARINA- BRANCH, LAGOS.. TO: THE MANAGING DIRECTOR/CEO DEAR SIR, RE:TRANSFER OF THE SUM OF US$30.5M DOLLARS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. FIRST,I MUST SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION.THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF IT'S NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND TOP SECRET.THOUGH I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WILL MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED.BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY.WE HAVE DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU THROUGH THIS MEDIUM DUE TO THE URGENCY OF THIS TRANSACTION AS WE HAVE BEEN RELIABLY INFORMED OF YOUR DISCRETENESS AND ABILITY. LET ME START BY INTRODUCING MYSELF TO YOU. I AM DR.YAHAYA MUHAMAD,AN ACCOUNTANT WITH THE UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC BRANCH OFFICE LAGOS.I CAME TO KNOW ABOUT YOU IN MY PRIVATE SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE THIS CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION AS WE ARE STILL IN ACTIVE SERVICE. THE PROPOSITION. AN AUSTRALIAN NATIONAL,LATE ENGINEER BUTCH R.MIGUEL,AN OIL MERCHANT/CONTRACTOR WITH THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA,UNTIL HIS DEATH THREE YEARS AGO IN A GHASTLY AIR CRASH IN AN EGYPT AIR, FLIGHT 990 WHICH OCCURED ON 2ND NOVEMBER 1999,BANKED WITH US HERE AT UNION BANK OF NIGERIA MARINA BRANCH LAGOS,AND HAD A CLOSSING BALANCE OF US$30.5M(THIRTY MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS)IN A FIXED DEPOSIT ACCOUNT,WHICH THE BANK UNQUESTIONABLY EXPECTS IT TO BE CLAIMED BY ANY AVAILABLE FOREIGN NEXT-OF-KIN TO THE LATE BENEFICIARY OR ALTERNATIVELY BE DONATED TO A DISCREDITED TRUST FUND FOR THE PURCHASE OF ARMS AND AMMUNITIONS AT THE MILITARY WAR COLLEGE IN KADUNA STATE HERE IN NORTHERN NIGERIA. SEQUEL TO THIS,FERVENT VALUABLE EFFORTS WERE MADE BY UNION BANK OF NIGERIA TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ANY OF THE MIGUEL'S FAMILY OR RELATIVES BUT PROVED TO NO AVAIL.IT IS BECAUSE OF THE PERCEIVED POSIBILITY OF NOT BEING ABLE TO LOCATE ANY OF THE LATE ENGR.BUTCH R. MIGUEL'S NEXT-OF-KIN(HE HAD NO KNOWN WIFE AND CHILDREN) THAT THE MANAGEMENT UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF OUR HONOURABLE CHAIRMAN AND MEMBERS OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS,MAJOR-GENERAL KALU UKE KALU(Rtd), THAT AN ARRANGEMENT BE MADE FOR THE FUND TO BE DECLARED"UN-CLAIMABLE" AND SUBSIQUENTLY BE DONATED TO THE TRUST FUND FOR THE PURCHASE OF ARMS AND AMMUNITON TO FURTHER ENHANCE THE COURSE OF WAR IN AFRICA AND THE WORLD IN GENERAL.IN ORDER TO AVERT THIS CRUDE AND NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT,SOME OF MY TRUSTED COLLEAGUES AND I NOW SEEK YOUR PERMISSION TO HAVE YOU STAND AS THE NEXT-OF-KIN TO LATE ENGR. BUTCH R.MIGUEL, SO THAT THE FUND US$30.5M WOULD BE RELEASED AND PAID INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AS THE BENEFICIARY'S NEXT-OF KIN.ALL DOCUMENTS AND PROVES TO ENABLE YOU RECIEVE THIS FUND WILL BE CAREFULLY WORKED OUT AND MORESO AS PROFESSIONAL BANKERS, WE ARE ASSURING YOU OF 100% RISK-FREE INVOLVEMENT. YOUR SHARE STAYS WHILE THE REST WILL BE FOR MYSELF AND MY COLLEAGUES FOR INVESTMENT PURPOSES IN YOUR COUNTRY. NOTE THAT THIS TRANSACTION WILL STRICTLY BE BASED ON THE FOLLOWING TERMS AND CONDITIONS AS I HAVE STATED BELOW, AS WE HAVE HEARD CONFIRMED CASES OF BUSINESS ASSOCIATES RUNNING AWAY WITH FUNDS KEPT IN THEIR CUSTODY WHEN IT IS FINALLY REMITTED INTO THIER BANK ACCOUNTS.A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE IS THE ONE OF MR. PETER HOPWOOD,THE PRESIDENT OF MILEAGE TRADING AND INVESTMENT COMPANY AT NUMBER 121, WEST 55TH STREET,21st FLOOR,NEW YORK 10022, AND THE FORMER CHAIRMAN OF OMPADEC(MR PATRICK OPIA)WHOM WE WERE RELIABLY INFORMED THAT AFTER THE AGREEMENT BETWEEN BOTH PARTNERS IN WHICH HE WAS TO TAKE 15% OF THE MONEY WHILE THE REMAINING 85% FOR THE NIGERIAN OFFICIALS,WITH ALL THE REMAINING DOCUMENTS SIGNED,THE MONEY WAS DULY TRANSFERED INTO MR HOPWOOD'S ACCOUNT, ONLY TO BE DISAPPOINTED ON THEIR ARRIVAL IN NEW YORK AND WERE INFORMED THAT MR PETER HOPWOOD WAS NO LONGER ON THAT ADDRESS,WHILE HIS TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS HAD BEEN RE-ALLOCATED TO SOME BODY ELSE. THIS WAS HOW THEY LOST US$18.5M TO MR HOPWOOD.THIS IS A VERY RECENT STORY HERE IN MY COUNTRY AND EVERYBODY IS AWARE OF THIS.SOME OF THE OFFICIALS DECIDED TO CRY OUT AND FACE THE LAW,BECAUSE THEY FELT THEY HAD LOST SO MUCH TO A STRANGER,WHILE THE CHAIRMAN OF OMPADEC(MR PATRICK OPIA)IS NOW HIDDING IN A FORIEGN COUNTRY.SO RIGHT NOW, I AM TAKING ALL PRECAUTIONARY MEASURES TO GUARD AGAINST RE-OCCURENCE OF SUCH ACT IN OUR CASE.THIS IS WHY WE HAVE DECIDED THAT THIS TRANSACTION WILL BE BASED ON THE FOLLOWING:- (a) OUR CONVICTION OF YOUR TRANSPARENCY, HONESTY ANDDILIGENCE. (b) THAT YOU WILL TREAT THIS TRANSACTION WITH UTMOST SECRECY AND CONFIDENTIALITY(c) YOU MUST BE READY TO PRODUCE US WITH ENOUGH INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF TO PUT OUR MINDS AT REST. (d) THAT UPON RECIEPT OF THE FUND,YOU WILL PROMPTLY RELEASE OUR SHARE ON DEMAND AFTER YOU HAVE DEDUCTED YOUR 20%. YOUR URGENCY WILL BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED AS WE ARE ALREDY BEHIND SCHEDULE FOR THIS FINANCIAL QUATER. IF THIS PROPOSAL IS ALRIGHT BY YOU,THEN KINDLY GET TO ME IMMEDIATELY ON MY EMAIL ADDRESS.PLEASE NOTE THAT MY EMAIL WOULD BE USED SO AS TO AVOID TAPPING THROUGH OUR TELEPHONE CONVERSATIONS BY UNKOWN INDIVIDUAL TILL WHEN CONVIENENT TO USE THE TEL-LINES. THANK YOU IN ANTICIPATON OF YOUR COOPERATION. YOURS FAITHFULLY, DR.YAHAYA MUHAMAD. ( Chief Accountant) UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC. MARINA BRANCH LAGOS.
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020920
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what's it to you?
who
go
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blather
from
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