blackangel silentbob 2:00 am - driving past my current house, which i hadn't lived in at the time, all the lights on, amy asked me if i've seen the black angel. i said me and lauren were just talking about it the other day, but that i didn't know anything really. Amy said that apparently this woman died and they put up this big white angel statue for her grave, and then when her baby died, the angel just turned black. this was back in the early 1900's before black paint existed. And she said scientists have come and couldn't explain why it was black. and she said when you're walking through the cemetary at night and just bump into it its scary as fuck. but really there's a lot of bad mojo surrounding it. people get scared just looking at it. people make wiccan offerings to it. it is a landmark. you can look it up online and find information about it. if you touch it, legend has it that you'll die. 2:15 am - i woke up lauren to see if she had a flashlight 2:30 am - entered the walgreens and purchased a new flashlight 2:38 am - entered the mouth of the cemetary 2:45 am - left the cemetary with fear and cowardice and shame. "I'm sorry i wanted to leave" amy said. "i just suddenly lost the mood to trampse around the cemetary at 3 in the morning, not really knowing where we're going. And however far we wander into the cemetary, getting lost, is just that much farther we'll have to wander....out." Then she told me the story of how when she met her friend courtney, they didnt know much about each other....and then one night out of nowhere courtney said, "Amy, whose fingernails did you used to paint purple?" and the answer was her friend Cassidy who died. but theres no way courtney could have known that because they didnt tell friends, and courtney and cassidy never met, they were from different towns. and cassidy was dead. then courtney proceeded to just tell amy all this information back to amy, stuff that only amy would have known, because it was not kept in a diary anywhere and even their closest friends didn't know. she just gushed it out. there was no way she could have known. then amy sat up the get a cigarette and courtney said, "He doesn't like it when you smoke." and that was just the end beat all freakiest thing ever. there was no way courtney could have known this, and apparently she had done stuff like this before, like just gushed information about dead people.....yeah. it doesn't matter if its true or not. anything is scary as you're leaving the cemetary at night. so amy dropped me off vowing we'd go see it the next day. and in the dark, at 3 am looking for my keys, that was the most scared i'd been in a long time. i went to bed, avoiding looking at anything, but there was this tiny glowing light in front of my vcr. i turned on my light to see what it was, and it was this tiny baby with angel wings this kid at a concert gave me. it was glow-in-the-dark. it didn't make me feel any better. ----- fast forward to a halloween party that fall. Meganne sat outside on the porch and smoked as she told me about how her house is haunted. Sometimes she will see flashes of light cross the ceiling, and the house will just feel creepy sometimes. i wrote that off as headlights from a car, or your own general trickery. but she said she has seen men standing over her bed before, and sometimes they appear in the mirror and just stare at her. and there apparently is also a cat that runs around the house and when you look its not there.. she told me that once someone was knocking on the door, and then there was knocking on the backdoor, and then the side door, and there was just no one there and the dog was barking, barking, barking. she said the activity acts up a lot after she leaves her moms house after breaks and things. and it also smells like beer a lot when activity is especially high. they don't have beer in their house. When mike stayed at her house, his posters would fall off the walls. She said boyfriends felt especially uncomfortable there for some reason. it was like the ghost was jealous. The kicker she said though was when she moved into her current apartment, and she went to go see the black angel , and then came back and didn't feel alone at all, went to bed, woke up, and found all her canned food sitting in a row in front of her pantry. she lives alone. I slept on her couch that night and didn't experience any paranormal activity, other than the fact that we made out. ------ fast forward to summer. over a year since the first time i saw it. 9:30 pm - me and amy and stevo were driving around and amy started laughing and laughing and said, "i will give you twenty dollars to put your penis on the black angel" 9:50 standing at the edge of the cemetary, overseeing the quiet panorama of just hills and headstones, and at a far end there's a light and its just pointed at the black angel. they decided that it would be a dollar a second, for twenty seconds. amy would write me a check, then stevo would write her a check. they were far far behind me as they were too afraid to trampse through the cemetary at night. i could see them. i pretended to pull my pants down and press it against the large perfectly square stone the statue sat on. when they came up they said, "no, it has to be on the actual black part. you have to climb up there." i really didn't want to. it was then that i was afraid. i thought at any moment a cop or a zombie would come and eat my brains. or a zombie cop who came back from the dead to stop crime. stevo insisted. i put my hands on the cold surface and looked up and i swear at that moment i heard the buzzing of flies. like they were feasting on a dead pig, blood and inner organs spilled on dirt. i took my hands off and the buzzing stopped. i put them back and it was there again. i pushed myself up and undid my pants and put my penis on the piercingly placid ebony angel. it was goddamn cold. twenty seconds past, i put the check in my pocket and we ran. i never died. 040731 ... silentbob http://photobucket.com/albums/v341/ohbusiness/ 040802 what's it to you? who go blather from