lifehurtsmyheart sab a truth but then we all have truths coloured all shades of history 050124 ... daxle but those worn bits grow back thicker than they started and the blood pumps surer than before 050124 ... observation you seem happy 050124 ... sab a lumpy heart for a lumpy girl that fits, i guess i guess i never guess it right i wish i got it right but then wheres the fun in that? 050124 ... stork daddy gross...daxle has heart scabs. 050125 ... .nom life herds my art 050126 ... Deomis I messed up again. .. I don't know what I did. I don't know why I did it. I just... freaked out. Now I'm worried. I'm worried that I messed up again. and every beating of my heart, makes me draw another sharp breath as I anticipate the moment when I can tell you I'm_sorry 050126 ... three words stupidness fall_and_fade lifehurtsmyheart 061102 ... Emptyness Alive life hurts... my heart my soul my hands in that order 061103 ... *Amy* I wonder how many more stabs mine will resist... 061104 ... falling_alone it used to be that i thought i was content. i'm starting to realize i'm unhappy. unless it's the culmination of life's shit pressing in. i only say i'm unhappy becuase i've been on the verge of tears this entire weekend. right now, say something and i will break down. i was told i had a weak personality. said lovingly by my design teacher whom i respect, despite his perverted impulses. and in effect, this lingers so that everything i have overanalyzed believing this is why love never gives me a chance. and here again i could be exagerrating, but most likely i'm not. i've had something to drink. this is because lifehurtsmyheart, and i'll go to bed soon just so i can cry away from my room mate, and tomorrow i'll wake up and possibly meet with the boy who used me, i used him, because the boy who made me fall in love with him hasn't called when he promised he would. this could all be becuase of my weak personality, the fact that i'm boring, i'm not perfect, i told him i liked him so he wouldn't abandon me for lack of feeling, and i think thats exactly what happened. and it feels like reality is getting harder to distinguish fiction, or fiction from reality and i don't remember but i was just listening to that song oh from rent.... and i'm drinking and completely lost my train of thought except that i'll post this and there will be so many spelling errors that i dont feel like changing. and this is probably annoying everyone, but that seems like the only thing i'm good at these days. oh and i think this is what they call depression. and i wanted to end this but i can't figure out the captcha thingy... so fuck. 061104 ... Christ without the cross You don't got much errors babes. It was actually pretty error free. You didn't annoy me. I wish i had something mean to say almost, but i can't because i liked that post so much. Weak personality? What the fuck is that? I'm not suppose to curse. you are rubbing off on me. the first thing i thought was that this guy was upset over not being able to get in your pants. But i could be in error. My mind is permanantly on ass mode and most of the time i don't agree with him. I think i love you or is it the i find such a massive connection with what you are saying that i wanted to say the strongest words i can think of. That has been happening a lot lately. Ive been used before. I can relate. I want to screw that bitch over. Well at least my brain does. He wishes that i would indulge his idiocy. Shut up brain. She is not a bitch and i resent you talking about the love of my life that way. Anyways. Lifehurtsmyheart too. To the point where i will say crazy stupid things thinking there clever while thinking everyone else is gonna think its lame. Insecurity. insecurity fucks me all night and day and then stole my wallet to go shopping with her friends. Why am i cursing? Do i think this gives me an edge. Well. You just got a glimpse of the irrelevance of my mind. Im gonna go now so that insecurity can fuck me with a dildo in my aSS. 061104 ... sab why couldnt at least some of it be easy? fuckin god, sniggering behind his hairy little palm I WILL HAVE A RECKONING DAMN YOU if we are answerable to you, then you are answerible to us, and i just wanna know what the FUCK you think your up to, you great big shit? 061104 ... Christ without the cross Well if some of it was easy i guess it wouldn't be so entertaining watching eachother falling all over ourselves trying to work things out. I can see some easy stuff in life. Its easy to...damn, i was tryin to think of something by the time i finished that sentenced. it didn't come. Why the f*&% didn't it come. I'm getting better. Blotted out the curse word. This is against my guidelines. THere is something wonderful and profound here on this planet. Unfortunately i have lost my mind and...wait...Im getting something. The soul wants to be free. Unfortunately with all the constructs and emotional people (of which i am not exempted) things will not be easy. We are great big messes trying to work things out with ourselves while being dead afraid to step on anybodies toes. I was continuing to talk about all sorts of thing and erased all of them. I will end this with... Couldn't think of anything. 061105 ... unhinged i've been crying on the bus again 190807 what's it to you? who go blather from