random_thoughts_on_a_wednesday startfires last night i had a dream that i had a t shirt that had a big 88 on it. it seemed very important that it said 88. i would like to move to san francisco. www.newdisorder.com. 010530 ... ClairE I really have to get dressed. I was born on a Wednesday. Full of woe and all that. I wonder what he is doing now. Stacey is talking to me; I'm glad. I wonder how this year will be. I wish I didn't have to categorize things so strictly. I smell. Every pen in that pencil cup over there is a different color. I'm glad it didn't snow. I have nothing to say. 020102 ... impatient virgin He doesn't notice how I curled my hair and put glitter over my eyes, and gloss on my lips. To come hang out at work with *him* for the afternoon. He doesn't see because I am invisible. I'm used to that. {Still hurts though.} 020102 ... yummyC "wow, its a wednesday?" my yellow shirt has gotten stained and i want to cry. not because of that, though. oh my god in two more days I can talk to Nick, and see him, and be confused about whether to hug him. crap, mark is home. oh god oh god oh god I think they are fightng. i know. i know. I know its no big deal. this is what i am escaping from, glazed eyes seeing the beach, seeing kua bay (the most gorgeous beach on this god forsaken island. blech. hawaii. hell.), not seeing the anger, the little girl my mom becomes when fighting the uselessness, the anger, the blame. pointed at me memmememe, i see the beach, I am alone, I am happy, there is nobody mad at me for using...too many paper towels or something insignificant...I am there and not here, i am standing in the water, and suddenly i drown. I'm drowning. I drown in my dreams or drown in reality. dreams seem better, so stay away, block it out. I can't hear the noise, I am on a beach, I am alone, I am happy. hey...erica's online. lets see if the bitch invites me to her birthday thing, whatever it is. not yet. i can't wat until she confirms her disgust with me. If she could slip and do it... who cares. why hold my breath? I'm drowning anyway. 020102 ... kerry snow is only fun when you have friends to play with i like hanging around with boys she's always busy when i want to get together why am i sweating?? my nose itches. i want to make out with someone in the snow. 020102 ... unhinged i can't believe i have to revise this paper. 020306 ... reitoei my god this day sucks 020306 ... guess oh no you're kidding me it's only wednesday? why isn't it friday already? 020306 ... Jenna I hear that. 020306 ... little wonder i've started to look forward to wednesdays. they are a break from working, and it only gets better from here for the rest of the week. my kitten should be born soon. 020306 ... yummychuckle the people I'm babysitting for have a kitten. Its named gracie. the kids are obsessed. these kids are so cute. haha. *sigh* johnny's package came!!!!!!! what an interesting voice. Hes very silly. its beautiful music. the geetair is wonderful. ahhh and I have yet to read the letter because the kids are everywhere and I want to download music. and write. i also got new shoes and shirts and a jacket thingee cus its cold in the morning (goddamn hawaii, lol) wow how silly of me, this is boring. 020306 ... jackie "birdmad" mc cracken i feel as daed as though i had been violated by the darth_horse and the infamous nine_iron 020306 ... me is it fate? 020307 ... little wonder saliva_suits 020515 ... unhinged i guess it's just like everything else. what a child i am. still i can't do things face to face. maybe i should settle for memories. 020515 ... unhinged i give up 020807 ... good people should i save this last bowl for her, or smoke it now? 020807 ... Vaz He smoked it. 041205 ... Deomis I wonder what time it is. 10:51. huh. how about that. I really need to do my Christmas shopping. I really need some more time. A 35 hour day would be nice. Would school be longer though? Think about the messed up calendar... speaking of dates, today isn't even Wednesday, is it? hm. stupid me. I think I'll crawl back into my cave now. 041206 ... once again Her'es to random Wednesday nights.... 041206 ... falling_alone wednesdays go by faster. vroom 050209 ... unhinged once again, i'm wondering why i bother. i don't think i can finish this degree. i can't practice because i'm injured yet i have about a month and a half to prepare a recital. and i can't stay here another semester. i can't. i give up. i just give up. i don't have anything left to do this with. 050209 ... closet ballerina last night i dreamt that my dreads had turned back into hair, and in my dream i was trying to be disappointed but was secretly glad. maybe it's time to shave my head. 050210 ... cel spiffalicious 050401 ... cel cd's are round thats pretty blarp scloodge 050401 what's it to you? who go blather from