pain_and_pleasure Xipe Totec and the thin line that separates them sometimes can be ever so difficult to distinguish la_petit_mort 001101 ... silentbob two emotions that for me go hand in hand. i think the same for everyone else too, but i dont like speaking for other people. with every pain, there is pleasure. with every hate, there is love. with every demon, there is an angel, and with every rainy day, the sun is somewhere right around the corner. i just wish i could remind myself of this philosophy when i'm sitting in my room listening to emo and wishing i believed in suicide. that it won't always be bad. but its pretty hard to see when you are gnawing on the knowledge that everything you will ever love will either leave you or die. it seemed so easy to find love once after a lifetime of heartache. why isn't it this easy again? why do i let my emotions control the way i think? why did i let my heart get out of hand on my birthday? why hasn't she written me? 001101 ... psycho babe There is a fine line between the difference of pain and pleasure. For me, its the everyday unmotivated ways that I have to face myself in the mirror. A horrifying image of something that I dont want to be. But now, I think that that image is starting to change. from once was a horrific image, is now not so bad. I have finally found who I trust and who I dont, yet it doesn't seem to show for me. People who I call my friends, really aren't and that hurts, which is why I have searched for a new beginning to it all. I guess thats what defines is for me alittle. 001109 ... *Ziima* Well...I was/am masochistic from time to time. Pain was a way of letting go...putting pleasure into fuckin up my skin...i actaully did some art on my leg with a kneedle and ink...it was cool until it healed. i heal way too fast. Pleasure in pain...as in...sex...is...well...yeah. Dominatrix..hehe...*snickers* um...yeah 010719 ... The Truth pain and pleasure are the two primary forces of animalistic drive. Our lower humanistic natures ( i.e. instincts/urges/lusts) are devoted to serving these sensory vibrations. The addition of pleasure causes a decrease of pain, as an increase in pain creates less pleasure. Without the component of our brain to enable us to have self control, the conscience, we would be reduced to those monkeys in the zoological facilities of Asia, who masterbate on the tourists as they pass under the branches of their tree. Or the lab rat who, even knowing that it gets to push only one button per day, will choose the button that delivers a stimulating charge to it's pleasure center, rather than pushing the button that dispenses a food pellet. The rats in this experiment always die of starvation, as does the human who serves only his or her lower nature. 010720 ... kx21 No pain No pleasure and No pleasure No pain 010720 ... blown cherry http://www.angelfire.com/ia/silentbob/sadist.html Explains what I think better than I ever could 020209 ... blown cherry I thought of something else. Sometimes I wonder if I tell myself I'm a masochist just so that I have an excuse for feeling this way. Maybe I'm supposed to be healed by now, but for some reason I'm not letting myself, I keep reopening the wounds. I don't understand masochism. Naturally we as humans shy away from pain, it's our body's natural response to something that is bad for it, dangerous etc, and it's fucking awful to be feeling it too. So why do I choose to be here then? Lost in the darkest pain my quickly fading soul has ever had the opportunity to experience, and here I anchor myself. Perhaps masochism is the only way I feel alive, since the other option (ecstasy) is out of reach. 020218 ... misstree i wrote once that pleasure was a whisper too soft to feel real... when pain is experienced, there is no denying it, no being distracted from it, no fleeting sigh. pain shoots with primal force through every synapse, every thought. our animal instincts are that pleasure is to be sought, pain to be avoided. i'm not one much for animal instincts, however. when i can grab hold of an incoming lightning bolt, and change my perception of it from the animal "ow, that's bad" to "ow, that's good," well, it's a little bit better than a good piece of chocolate. one final note: on teh surface, this looks liek a simple control issue: "if you can control the pain, it makes up for other things in life that you can't, blah blah blah smackety smack." i've discussed this theory with others, and we all agree: while it has some validity, it's not just asserting control, it's grabbing reality by the balls, twisting, and going for a ride, and what better beast to master than "reality" itself? 020218 ... blown cherry good call misstree 020219 ... phil emotions come from external not from internal struggles 020219 ... jane the dichotomy the juxtaposition smack! bruise my ass kiss me harder bite more more i can't get enough 030715 ... x mostly just pain 030716 ... icy twisted together, one never there without the other... broken 050728 what's it to you? who go blather from