hostess_of_the_apocalypse misstree when it all comes crashing down, my plan is just to throw a heckuva party. throw civilised society a proper going-away bash. and here at apocalypse inc., we're looking for people with, shall we say, special skills, to asisst in the endtime plans. filled positions include hostess, bartender, the four bodyguards (immobilization, unconscious, pain, and death), keeper of the bone, and pied_piper. if you think you can add to this faboo team, apply today! 040122 ... The Reaper Man cool, i'm on the filled position. 040122 ... smurfus rex how many valet spots you got? 040122 ... misstree reaper, sorry to say, the death position (four bouncers of the apocalypse division, i misnamed earlier) has already been taken by an insane mongol-lookin' mofo. if you'd ever seen him clear a pool table in one leap, you'd know why. interested in any related fields? and smurfus, you got dibs on valet... lucky you, getting to drive all them pretty cars and motorcycles and hellbeasts around from visiting dignitaries and suchnot... we do have a chauffeur, but he has his own jalopy, so you're all good. 040122 ... The Reaper Man Then the Reaper shall be the DJ! . didn't see that on your list. 040122 ... The Confused and Slightly Dazed Reaper Man or is that the pied piper? . how bout the official greeter? . 040122 ... misstree DJ indeed does work. dancing into oblivion is ohsopurrfect. pied_piper brings the rats, and hostess says "hello! would you like some... cheeeeeeeze?" so we don't need a greeter, but every good apocalypse should have a good soundtrack. 040122 ... Lemon_Soda Keeper of the Bone- A very imortant position at any great gathering of the Apocalypse. The Keeper of the Bone was a later rendition to the positions that be. Responsibilities include Keeping the Bone, a delightful concoction whose ingrediants include a small sample of every alchohol in the house( and other, secret additions), offering the Bone to friends and visitors, cleaning the Bone(oh, so gently), carousing, seeing to positionist welfare, after party cleanup, and properly timed intteruptions with need of immediate assistance. Gentlemen or Ladies applying will be told smartly off as the position is already filled, however thrill-seekers to become Keepers for other events may be apprenticed as a phelange(or some times humorous) to the Keeper of the Bone of the Apocolypse. .....eeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee... "apply within" 040122 ... The Reaper Man Yay for Reaper Man DJ. Pump up the Volume! (or not, although pumping is a good word, all squishy and thrusting.......drool) . 040122 ... Good Ole Country Reaper I won't forget the Hank Williams Jr. records either. . 040122 ... smurfus rex do I have to wear a goofy little bellhop uniform, or can I wear more appropriate parking duty attire? specifically, black leather and Ray-Bans... 040122 ... pipers wearig spiffy ray-bans and leather all right, the piper is here, hold your adulation and applause. rats're chilling out backstage, where's the cheese? *snaps bubble gum in most rock-star fashion* 040123 ... misstree as long as the black leather is a good cut, that *is* your uniform. sounds purty. and pd, what position would you be applying for? 040123 ... pipedream all phat n all of course the leather is a good cut, the guy at the swap meet said it was gen-oo-wine cowskin, yerp! i'm the piper, of course. *toots pipe experimentally* 040123 ... misstree um... that position's already filled... the current pied_piper has unspeakable potential, but hasn't quite busted past the evaluation period yet, at least in this division... he is a transfer from another area... but i have quite a bit of faith that once he does bust out his corrupting powers to fullness, well, i'll wake up bloody_and_grinning, and possibly hospitalized... and you don't really seem the type to have the knack for leading people into the depths of chaos and debauchery, at least the brand we serve... also, almost forgot, two things... one, butler position is already filled as well, almost forgot, which would be a tragic dishonor to someone so happy to run booze to those in need despite insane amounts of stairs... and here at apocalypse inc. (amityville division), there is a trial period... until you have created some work to secure your place in the annals of things best forgotten, the titles are mutable... so, say you're electrician of the apocalypse, and you manage to burn a few houses down, you'd likely become fireman of the apocalypse instead... or if you're electrician and someone shows up with a tens machine or violet wand, well, other opportunities abound... 040123 ... Creeper Man I've made the connection that our own MC will be catering. . 040123 ... mt ? 040123 ... pipers hmm, you do have a point there mtree. i think i'll be flamethrower of the apocalyspe, and light everyone's cigarettes or something with my nifty gun-lighter. heh. time for RED leather ;) (tries to recall strideo's flamethrower sentence, but fails) mein gun ist flamethrower. heheheheahahahahahaaha 040123 ... smurfus rex it was "mein pimmel ist ein flamenwurfer"...but you don't have a pimmel, y'know? :) I think you can switch "pimmel" for "gewehr" if you want to say your gun is a flamethrower. but my German is dustier than my Russian. :) *hands over some Armor All wipes* Red leather looks best when it's real shiny... 040124 ... sabbie siren_of_the_apocalypse thanks babe. i have the flame orange hair and the screaming banshee tones echoing around my head. i have learned the death-gleam-of-the-eye at the knee of life, and i will rock up with the crazed cheshire cat grin and the four boys on horses riding in my wake. 040124 ... pipers shiny red woo hoo! *armor-alls enthusiastically* hmm...if i used 'pimmel' instead, it'd be funnier ;) calling a gun a pimmel..heee hee for the siren- 'bewarre, beware..i rise from the ash with my red hair, and i eat men like air' 040125 ... sabbie no, to be fair, i'll eat anything. ok, so on my lunch break i'll be the omnivore of the apocalypse. because every apocalypse needs a couple of those. 040125 ... pipers yes, omnivores are very important. would you like some breath mints? 040125 ... misstree of course, darlin', quite an honor to have you on board... and there will be legions of omnivores, devouring anything worth tasting... 040125 ... pipers and as noone is particualrly partial to leather polish, i suppose i get to click my flamethrower and smirk at the hapless devourees...heh 040126 ... sabbie my darling girl everything is worth tasting everything is worth experiencing i'm going to try it all before we gotta rock up to the last day and once the apocalypse kicks in i'm going to have a ball. welcome to the apocalypse ball. formal dress required death always wore a cowl but i always figured that was because he was cold. the poor boy has no fat 040131 ... Nukemall Head school master of the apocalypse. How about it? 040316 ... oldephebe i think just in case some remnant of consciousness or something survives this upcoming armegeddon..i could like chronicle it and deposit it in like some vault some transdimensional vault so that when humanity is reconstituted..the whole issue of looking at time as not being a series of events mapped along a linear plane..i could like warn us..or at least there'd be some kinda of document saying..see there i told you so..so how 'bout it? 040316 ... In_Bloom I'm on call... 081109 ... sameolme May I have another apocalyptomint maam? 081109 what's it to you? who go blather from