last_night_i_heard_your_voice
unhinged or maybe it's
already been weeks
and the subtle shaking of molecules
made by the soundwaves of your_voice
over the speaker phone
shook me
i wasn't ready to hear you again
i've been shaking ever since
i_will_remember
i do remember when
you were the only thing that could
stop me
from shaking
and now
there is nothing that makes me shake more
knowing how much i still love you
and the horrible misunderstanding
of our congruent neediness
the angles equal
one fitting inside the other
so that there was so much space
too much space
left over that the other didn't cover
if_i_asked_you_to_stay
you'd just run away
cut_and_run
and i've been shaking ever since
the day
you hung up and went away
i need a healthy replacement
it's been way too long
for me to still feel this way
i stopped calling to forget your_voice
now that it's re-echoing in my head
i have nowhere to hide
broken_hearted
i can't let_go
and i was so damn close
041106
...
ben is jamin now!!! though this laps of time has been swift
the years have passes ever to quick
and now we have aged away from eachother
once we were young, with thoughts pure
but we have seemed to drift
away from what we thought we felt
for one another
please dont forget my smile
for it is birthed from yours
dont see me as a brother but
as a lover
these feelings for you are real
but you cant win the case without a trial
so my time shall be spent with no other
if its right and fate is true
there is no doubt in my mind
that destiny will pull through
but until then ill be standing in the distance watching
and until the end ill be thinking of you
041106
...
magicforest telling me of your sexual deviance
and missed the way you trusted me
041106
...
melodramatic calling my name softly as my dream slipped into the hum of early morning news 041106
...
Jeremy you can hear it again. call: 412-951-9060 041107
...
djstar i totally just left a drunken voicemail on whoever's phone number that was, lol 041107
...
somebody else than you and i know i'm in trouble when all my thoughts
sound like you
041107
...
. god I know 041107
...
soulsearcher seven_hours_of_your_voice 041107
...
metamantrg voices i hear voices 041107
...
cactus patty it was in my dream, a lovely dream of skin toughing skin, your breath on my neck, and legs entangled.
it wasn't so long ago that it wasn't just a dream, it was reality that we shared those things.
just like I remember how blue your eyes can be when you are happy.
041108
...
ambermoon sitting alone in the silvery moon light feeling the wind wisper to me telling me the secrets that it can no longer hold. gazing thruogh the winter trees there naked branches dancing against a back drop of dimond stars lighting up the night in shades of darkness. i hear you call to me in the waves that brake againt the shore pounding like angery fists despretly trying to move closer to your essence your power like a bolt of silver lighting i feel you move through me making every hair on my body stand on end all my sences peek and i can hear your voice telling me the path i must fallow. 041109
...
djstar i heard your voice
on Thanksgiving.
it was soothing, as usual,
even though i could tell
you were in a rush
to get off the phone.
such positivity stemming
from such a worried voice..
i remember the face
you used to give me
when i would come home from work..
that fearful look like
i was going to break your heart again.
i know how you feel and i'm sorry
because i find myself
making that same face with her.
041130
...
unhinged 412 is a pittsburgh area code

don't ask me how i know that
041211
...
unhinged just last night
i had a dream of your_voice
now so many years later
it didn't sound much like your_voice
from what i could remember
in the years since i heard it last
but it was a dream of a telephone conversation
all i remember you saying
'this is sam...'
on a voicemail you left me
sad
dejected
needy
and all i could think of when i woke up
1) why am i dreaming about him now?
2) i remember the day he said he believed that people are connected to each other through dreams.
kind of like
if you dream of them
their heart is reaching out for you
connected
as much of an asshole as you were
you, only you so far,
understood and appreciated the extent of my love
sincerely
and for a time
tried to love me back the best you knew how
i send you well wishes today dear
chances are you are not okay
070816
...
unhinged (and also serendipitiously weird that this page would come up on three_words on my first perusal of the day) 070816
...
. it is true about dreams, i dream of certain people in my past, and in my fantasies, it is somthikng quite special. 070816
...
unhinged .

(for awhile, we were a light for each_other and the people around us. then again, i realize after rereading this where some of my bullshit in relationships with men comes from)
110403
what's it to you?
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from