dropping_your_basket magicfuckingforest I lost it last night. I am not supposed to have endos like that. I ran out of ibuprofen but I couldn't stand so I couldn't get to the store and my mother wasn't home. So I had to go to work. I was okay sitting and calling people on my late list until about 6:30, after I'd had a wave of customers and then my store was empty again, which was when I stood to put some movies on the shelves and my knees gave out. I was probably on the floor for five or ten minutes before I picked myself up. Then I went to the phone and called my coworkers, so that someone could close the store for me, and I didn't reach any of them. So I closed the store. Before I left my mother called and told me that I hadn't walked the dog for long enough after school and I'd have to walk the dog again, regardless of time or weather. It was a rainy night. I walked home with the rain melting the strawberry ice cream and went into my house and straight to my room and lay on my bed curled up. My mother yelled but I couldn't get up to argue with her anyway. Then she mentioned the dog and I lost it. Dropped the basket. Tore out of my room and screamed "I'll walk the fucking dog!". It was 10:00 and drizzling. My mother screamed as well, telling me to stop putting guilt trips on her if I wasn't feeling well, despite the fact that she didn't believe I wasn't feeling well, and also whenever I'm sick, for whatever reason, her back gets a lot worse. She left me in the living room and I leaned against the door for support until she was back to bed and I pulled aside the curtains aside and saw the streetlights and the rain and the street, and sat there watching them for half an hour until my mother asked me if I was all right and said that if I didn't get to bed now, she would get up and check on me. So I said I was fine and went to the bathroom and then went to my room and fell asleep in my clothes and my glasses with the light on, which my mother didn't like because she thought I was awake and would occasionally shout for me to turn my light off. Now I have a test today I haven't studied for and my mother is doing this usual Melissa-is-irresponsible-and-digusting-to-me thing and I am so overwhelmed but I have to get to school because I have to study, when really I just want to go back to last night. I don't even know why. I just need to get back there and change it. Oh well. This morning I could stand up again and walk around again. Note: Imposter, do not call me tonight, because honest to god, I will not answer. I mean today, October 23rd. Okay? Okay. I just want to be alone right now. 031023 ... TalviFatin a tisket, a tasket... 031023 ... Death of a Rose count your eggs first. 031023 ... magicforest Oh, fucking BOSH. Don't tell me to count my eggs. I have plenty of eggs. I am also allowed a bad day once in a while. 031023 ... Death of a Rose my bad, I meant count so you would know how many you'll be smashing. And you are correct. 031023 ... magicforest Sorry. Sorry. It's just my mood talking. I'm so sorry. I don't usually snap like that. 031023 ... Death of a Rose good word, BOSH......very territorial. Don't feel bad magicforest 031026 ... magicforest Oh, I'm over it. Just another sad little adolescent melodrama. Over with and done entirely... Just the snappage my source of guilt. Will you ever forgive me, doar? 031026 ... Doar I could never forgive you, because there is nothing to forgive. here's a caterpiggle for you. 031026 ... misstree is having one of those days once upon a time, i drew a picture as a form of release. there was a princess in a tower, sleeping on a marble bench (you know the type of tale), and there's this prince rushing in, caught dramatically mid-step, and he has this beautiful rose in his hand, reaching towards the princess's face. if you look at it for a minute, you might or might not notice that there's someone standing behind the open door, hidden in its shadow, wearing a hooded cloak that covers the face, and with mary jane slippers sticking out the bottom. she's holding a basket of roses. what can i say. my boyfriend had just left me for his ex-fiancee, after i had taught him how to be sane in a relationship. two years later (on halloween, in fact), i moved to this town into an apartment with him. we weren't dating, but we were water_brothers and lovers. this time, just before christmas, he moved back to chicago because he had fallen in love with some chick he had wronged in a relatioship when he was sixteen. that night, i went to my diner and drew. i drew a basket that had a single rose in it, and a pair of mary jane slippers, and bare feet beneath a robe's hem, walking away. there are days that i hope that every rose i have ever given, wilts. 031027 ... pipedream muttering dark things under her breath no, not EVERY rose, you know... i drop my basket and the market equilibrim will shift to the left. aargh i hate economics. 031027 what's it to you? who go blather from