cloud_in_my_eye notme three times waking up a black cloud in my eye 040503 ... notme maybe it's been four this morning it was only a small cloud the other day i could'nt see for a few minutes from this eye when i was waking i kept blinking trying to shake away the darkness such a relief when the colours came 040503 ... ermmm... could it be cataracts? 040504 ... notme i hope not. for several months, or more, when i yawn and my eyes water, it seems only my right eye will drop a tear. my left eye seems a bit screwy. oh well, maybe it will be fine. maybe i just got a bit of paint in my eye? heh :-\ i'm not going to think about it anymore. don't know why i blathered all of this. 040504 ... notme i used to get these zebra-like patterns in my eyes when i was a kid. they were like funny moving striped waves that would fill my eyes, suddenly appearing and lasting for a while before they'd disappear. but that stopped happening a long time ago. other than that, i've always had excellent eyesight. i can see pretty good in the dark, and details from far distances. so i don't know what's up. 040504 ... notme at first it was scary i thought it was something there because sometimes there are things there i tried to look away but everywhere i looked it was there blurry halo around a dark hole a dull eclipse as though the skies were clouded slightly i'm thinking it won't happen again it won't happen again nope nope nope it's just one of those things 040505 ... newme i think i might be going blind 040716 ... newme which will be okay i guess 040716 ... newme better to go blind than to have never seen at all if i do go blind, at least i'll have my memories of sight 040716 ... newme maybe if i'm lucky it'll just be the one eye 040716 ... Doar I hope not. You'd have to start translating all of your favourite writings to braille, and that would take forever.... 040716 ... newme oh well. i can learn. i learned a bit when i was little. and i used to walk around with my eyes closed, feeling my way around, to try and feel what it's like to be blind. so maybe i was preparing myself somehow. i don't know. 040716 ... newme i wish this wasn't happening 040716 ... newme if_wishes_were_fishes 040716 ... newme it might be nothing. could be temporary. maybe it won't get any worse. 040716 ... sameolme Opthamologist, I might not be able to spell it, but I know when to go to one. 040716 ... sameolme why worry? get it checked. 040716 ... newme i know. you're right. i would say the same thing to anyone talking like me. and i will get it checked next doctor's appointment, as it does worry me some. i_feel_dumb for blathing that i thought i was going blind yesterday. i was simply scared. i had just woken up in the dim curtained afternoon light and could barely see out of my left eye for many minutes until i turned the light on brightly, and then i could see but my left eye was still acting a bit strange and both my eyes were aching. i did some reading afterwards and i think i might have tracked down some ideas on what it is. i do have a diagnosed /documented medical condition which can cause temporary blindness / visual disturbances / blurry vision etc. ... so when i stop and think about it, it really is no wonder that i'm experiencing this. when i woke up a while ago, there was no problem except for a bit of pain that is still there. it seems to come and go. 040717 ... princess paranoia it keeps me from seeing clearly. everything looks dark and dreary. or maybe there isn't a cloud. maybe it's really that dark. 040717 ... newme *dim curtained afternoon light actually it was 10:30ish so technically: dim curtained late morning light details details details 040718 ... sab your eyes cloud over and your face falls, ever so slightly if i hadnt been watching you so closely i wouldnt have seen it. and you take one of those tiny tiny tiny breaths that tells me that you have stumbled in your head. and my eyes cloud and my throat catches as once again we miss each other we miss understand each other cloud in my eye storm in my head life in turmoil is what she said floating through a swamp the gasses still cling to my skirt 040718 ... oldephebe why not make an emergency dr's appointment? 040718 ... puredream cloud in my eye rain in my heart 040718 ... oldephebe for some reason sabs' words conjures the image of mel torme crooning sabs words over a haze of scotch, ciggarette smoke and adoitly and intuitively placed piano chord voicings..the kind of after dinner aural accompianament that underscores and dismisses or seems to cause the whole scene to recede into a comfortable kind of blithe kind of flirtatiousness...amd the easy and yet aloof kind of charm that seems to elude you descemds upon you...like you've had a few pre-date tokes... 040802 ... taupin must be the clouds in my eyes 050315 ... mon uow delete_me. 050315 ... mon uow eye still screwed and it doesn't matter. 050315 ... mon uow don't care but_i_should 050315 ... mon uow blah blah blah. delete. 050315 what's it to you? who go blather from