i_have_a_feeling_i'm_an_asshole (_) i piss off my mom even when i'm trying not to. then my dad gets mad at me for upsetting her. i sometimes piss off my friends w/out trying to. today i had to work very hard just to be civil. i don't think i laughed all day. i'm crying now, even though nothing bad has happened. i swear in my mind all the time now. i am only happy when everything goes like i want. if the smallest thing goes wrong, i cry. i want people to just give me my fucking crap and leave me alone, but i am mostly okay when with my friends. yesterday i pissed this guy when i was trying to flirt with him. my mom doesn't think i give a shit about anyone else, but i do, i really do. now everybody is happy because its halloween, or at least doing a damn good job of impersonating it, and i have mucus caked on my face. maybe this a side effect of reading ordinary_people, but i doubt it. please, somebody turn me sane. 051030 ... see ask_blather 051030 ... stork daddy yeah. well at least your feeling is just speculation. i actually have empirical proof as well as witness testimony suggesting that i'm an asshole. 051030 ... (_) well, i do know i'm stupid and whiny, but i am only an asshole some of the time, not usually a fullblown Asshole. that is why i wonder. 051030 ... (_) update: my dad said so. so it must be true. 051030 ... LS I only signed it because everyone else was, SD. 051031 ... oldephebe So to say that you FEEL that you're an a**hole would be like establishing contact with your Beingness, articulating your Beingness from a phenomenological perspective. What I should say is this:Although you are expressing yourself, your Being through the metaphysical medium of revelation (wich is the instrumentality of what is understand to have inhabited the initial elements of early 20th Century Existentialist thought. Or or if you prefer, proto-existentialist thought by one of the progenitors of Satre et al.,) does such a statement "i have a feeling i'm an asshole" does it contain all of the compressed vitality and validity of all you will subsequently become? Does it convey that your every breath thought touch gesture is infused, your very soma is it infused with this inexplicable malice and reflexive ire? ARe you saying that irons fire hardening and screaming in your veins, rolling down the frozen mountain of self-awareness is cracking open in the shimmering air? Is this some spasm o f conscience? Is this a fory into the thranscendentalism beyond solipsism and solecism? Is this an expressed desire to delve toward some truth? Has the Kingdom of I could care less suddenly become uninhabitable by the squalor of the Self.? Here is the sulphuric, groaning, screaming stream of the whiehgted sum of self cast up and out of the limitations of abstraction. I WANTED to write, "to absolve oneself of the sins of abstraction.." but then the image of water over polished stone and the intersection of a branch hurled by the current into the bed of stones foundation causing all to come crashing down insinuated itself upon the vanishing crest of that thought as rhetorical construction and I decided to excise it. ... 051101 ... oldephebe I should have said: Is this a FORAY into the transcendentalism beyond solipsism and solecism? ... 051101 ... asshole i have a feeling you are an asshole 051101 ... oldephebe Possibly. On a bad day I can be a jerk. But I find that the older I get or the more suffering i endure and I observe it tends to make me try THAT much harder to be kind and discard a lot of those petty expectations. Compassion and empathy have great power. Humility has a great power to change YOU and somtimes even those you love OR hate. Humility NOT cowadice. So...it's cool. You must be kind of young or something. That's cool as well. ... 051101 ... (_) 13. on a day like [see top of page], it is very hard to be empathic (e.g. to parents). that's uncool. but thanks for words of wisdom. oh and i enjoyed [ha ha] previous blathecarnations as cpgurrl, estarocks, etc. if anyone wants to physchoanalyse me. 051101 ... Lemon_Soda the word "asshole" and oldephebe just don't mix. his adamant grip of the value of a selfless and objective view peppered with tolarance born of wisened years puts any such suggestion clearly in the pile of immature rhetoric and/or unresearched opinion, both commonly associated with assholes, but then that is how you signed, isn't it? Actually, I'm willing to bet it was a social "fight or flight" response born of an inability to understand your phraseology and a lack of enthusiasm to research the unknown terms. Some kind of percieved threat over something not understood, but then, thats the natural mans nature... but for the grace of God... 051102 ... Terrell Owens: "I've a feeling I'm an ass hole." 051107 ... you know who! Pardon me, I forgot that everything is about YOU. To think that the statement “I have a feeling you are an asshole” has anything at all to do with you simply illustrates one of the following: A)you’re paranoid about your true nature (i.e. you are an asshole) B)you think you’re so damn important that you believed the above statement referred to you. (in this case, the nature of your ego also qualifies you as an asshole) oldephebe: man, I read your blathe, in it I find nothing that denotes you as an asshole, of course that opinion has now changed. You just may be a fucking asshole after all. You self-centered pig. lemon soda: you just suck you don’t even qualify for the statement asshole. You’rejust an idiot. The statement “I have a feeling you are an asshole” was a simple response to title of the blathe. Nothing more. That is until your narcissistic minds blew it the fuck out of proportion. You both suck. 051107 ... Death of a Rose sigh....here we go again.... 051107 ... Andy Reeds Obviously can't be Terell, he's too busy drooling at his relfection. Cheese Burger supplier. 051107 ... (_) why is everyone saying that oldphebe is an asshole/thinks him(if is her don't kill me)self one? oldphebe is nice. said i was cool. was lying, but still. 051108 what's it to you? who go blather from