heartbeat jennifer last night I fell asleep (almost if not for Jerry's incessant talking, I would have) in Greg's arms and I listened to his heartbeat His shirt was damp and cold (smelled like him) and I could hear his heart so clearly but, I think it was Mark's heart I was really hearing through all the fog and the tears I heard his heart and I felt so guilty 000505 ... lizard sometimes it scares me to think that everyone has one. my own, isolated.. it's a pulsating silence. together, all at once.. we would be deafening.. the world was made to overwhelm. 001115 ... grendel faster and faster at the thought of her, until it paints itself over every other sound in the world. but now she knows and as i await her reaction it is silent and still 001115 ... Jack Within a heartbeat the world changes beyond the recognition of anyone. Nothing is true for ever. All things must change. Nothing stays the same. 001126 ... kx21 Excitation of Soul(s)... 020117 ... kx21 Sidereal Breath... 020117 ... kx21 Sidereal day, hour, month, year, time & period... Specifically, Sidereal synchronicity... 020117 ... PEACELOVESHEEP BA-BUMP BA-BUMP BA-BUMP BA-BUMP... SAME-OLD SAME-OLD it gets boring after a while. 020628 ... nick heartbeat how long it would take for me to save you feels like eternity while I wait for you to ask hurry 031108 ... paranoid martyr i landed here twice by random 031223 ... Doar excuse me, but you've landed on my heartbeat. 031224 ... scoop panic disorder. james says not to be afraid, but it feels like the end of the world and how would i ever know what that felt like? 040927 ... pete you've breathed a new mind into me with your heartbeat 040927 ... Syrope i can't match your breathing or your heartbeat. wait for me 040928 ... Afro You make it hard to breathe It's as if I'm suffocating And when you're next to me I can feel your heartbeat thru my skin It makes me sad to think This could all be for nothing I wish there was a way A way for you to see inside me I've never felt this way About anyone, or anything so tell me. What do I have to do? 041001 ... apocalynx feel the pulse feel it racing, take a deeeeeep breath. breathe in breathe out, sign says keep out, out of my heart you don't want what's here. the movement of blood through veins i used to listen in awe when we'd fall asleep in each other's arms. well, now. it makes me anxious. take another breath and sloooow it down. 041224 ... Rosette With my head to his chest ever so briefly, I could hear his heartbeat deep down inside of him. It lulled me to a place of tranquility and safety. He obliged my need to hear his heart as it beat so slowly that late evening. I take it with me wherever I go. When lost or alone, I think of Greg's hearbeat. 060710 ... nineteen A heartbeat that is not my own fluttering wildly beneath my own skin. Being told that my chances of having a miscarriage are incredibly slim. Walking outside with a bag of baby magazines and baby samples, waiting. 060710 ... stork daddy that feeling is always terrifying. when your heart suddenly reminds you that it is both central to you and an object you observe from without. it does this when it beats suddenly wild, and you think, outside of it, god it might explode. at some level my father must've saw the tragedy in the same way we did, as some alien hand from the unknown suddenly causally connected to this world, throttling it, and releasing it languid into a world of anxiety, consolation and change. her eyes closed deeply when she first kissed me, as if she was entering that world outside of the normal chain of things, outside of her family and her career. as if she would just fathom the depths and then leave it, having stayed almost subatomically for a moment in the place where hearts beat. but her eyes opened then, and the portal was too porous, too fluid; she was regular sized again. my heart was hurried, though, she felt it. before it had all seemed fun to me, this. that for all the messiness of the world, there was the simple aesthetic pleasure of touch, the alternating levels of existence, the sublime locality of lips subsuming the entire larger world of lives and equations. the universe in an atom. but this was different. i wasn't in control this time. i wasn't a dispassionate outside watcher. this was, i suddenly realized, my heart. i had been in her position before. i had been in position to manipulate or not, to let fly or not. i had been kind, as she was now kind, but having that power over someone alone can hurt, no matter its use. i had more and less to lose than her. i had no family i was bound to. but i also had, for the first time, some interest in more than the petty aesthetics of love. i wanted a correspondance between the world of hellos and jobs and handshakes and kisses, and those visions and heartbeats when your eyes are closed. and i had felt her power to do this, as her whispering hand made fluid and navigable the boundaries between my words and my heartbeat. 070508 ... somebody that seems like knot_meat more than stork_daddy 070508 ... jane sometimes i get in the bathtub & put my head halfway under the water (so that my ears are covered but i can still breathe) and in this breathing all i can hear is lungs inflating, exhaling. & along with this filled silence the percussion of my heartbeat in it's womb-like muffled bumps softens my thoughts until they are nothing but soft slipping water 070508 ... knot meat oh they're all disintegrating. 070509 what's it to you? who go blather from