kingsuperspecial hold a mirror up to me.
we are one
the same.
in so many ways

a label I might wear
if I had the courage to go get it.
five out of seven is all it takes
but what the fuck do they know?

no idea what to do now.
no idea how to help.
full of feelings for you
but reality laughs and tests.
I fear
I am doomed.
like you.
nocturnal you just don't listen, do you?

I swear, if people would just follow my advice, they'd all be so much better off. the world will never know.
CheapVodka I have this thing called Borderline Personality Disorder.

It's too much to explain...but you should look it up if you were curious...

The word Borderline reminded me of it
people are so foolish duh. 011102
unhinged borderline schizo?

borderline psychotic?

borderline dismembered?

borderline ironic?

borderline insanity?

all the pyscho babble sounds the same to me in the end. you are either loved or you aren't. you are either a good person or you aren't. borderline shmorderline.
vertigo "knuckle deep within the borderline, this may hurt a little, but it's something you'll get used to"
Nicole I wonder if people who have borderline personality disorder will ever be happy. 030830
misstree a good friend with a bachelor's in psychology once told me i had borderline personality disorder... i still waffle over whether or not i agree with him, especially since i consider myself pretty durn stable these days... but if that is the case, then i can answer that yes, people who are borderline can be happy, though the turnover rate is higher than average. 030830
andie jaye yeah...BPD...great, huh? goes hand in hand with no one gets their eye poked out.. 041115
ClairE At least I am getting help. 070721
backflip oh good!
"thanks to my Mum"
slam! whats wrong with playing the same song over and over again, everyone liked it, i'm not a DJ with a Ferrari you know!
hmmmm... theres quite a lot you don't know, shall we have another bottle of wine?
laced I am. I smile sometimes. Something I learned from peoples faces when I never smiled. I learned that some scars shouldn't be covered up. I am sad without knowing why. I am angry without knowing why. I forget this without knowing why and in an instant remember it again. I am getting help but... 071015
Ouroboros He was massaging my shoulders, sitting in front of me, and soon his arms locked my body close to his and we swayed back and forth, and soon his hands were everywhere and it felt good in a sleepy kind of way. But he leaned in to kiss me and I was done being there and doing that.

I told E that I was unhappy in our relationship because he doesn't communicate what he's feeling or what's inside of him, and we're seeing a therapist together in 2 weeks, which should be interesting, and if E is willing to put the work into us, than so am I. But how can it work out? And how can it not?

I felt so good doing yoga all last week and dancing twice. And now I feel low and hopeless and gross.

It makes me furious when I see my brother lying and taking advantage of my parents. But I also still depend on them in ways that seems completely inappropriate for my age.

I hate eating meat and participating in murder. I crave meat intensely and feel better when I eat it.

Obama HAS to be voted into presidency in the fall. But how can he?

Future. No future.
three words you_transcend______i_fall_down
borderline superficial
Risen My therapist asked me if I'd noticed the borderline traits in you. I have now.

Do into others.
unhinged i looked up the wiki on borderline personailty disorder cause i took an online diganostic that was floating around on blather a decade ago and scored high in borderline traits.

ive been torturing myself ever since but it does explain some things.

the one thing that bothers me about this disorder is that it is considered disorderly to feel someone elses pain. that it is a disorder to be sensitive to others especially when they are in pain.

in the world i want to live in, people like that are considered saints.

flowerock empathy. I highly value empathy, sensitivity, sincerity, honesty. humanity. I don't know much about borderline personality. but if it implies empathy as a negative then there may be some thing off in the definition. I think some of us have real imbalances and traits that do make "normal life" difficult and put bigger more challenging obstacles in our path, but the way these issues are diagnosed and treated leaves a lot to be desired. I tried xanax (as medicine not recreation) it helped the issue but also created other new issues.ultimately it was up to me to change, still working on it but the progress is there. 140815
flowerock I just read the wiki. I related to a lot of it kind of surprised at how it seemed to describe things I had felt but not really thought to describe or see as abnormal. kind of unsettling. do I just relate but maybe exagerate? i got that feeling like someone knew more abouy me than I yet know. 140815
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