never_look_down endless desire i fell off my hammock today. you know how they say never look down. well now i know why. you see, we have a very large hammock fit for two. yet we usually pile it up with 5 or 6. but i was on it alone. twilight. what a beautiful time. the sky almost glows. i was swinging. there was a breeze and i was having fun as it blew my hair. and wishing you here instead of there i swung the hammock with the pressure from my knees placing pressure on one side, and then shifting it to the other. i began to stand on my knees, and the daring side of me took my hands off the sides and gathered balance. i became very comfortable and impressed with my actions i began to swing the hammock higher. back and forth back and forth. my dishwater blonde hair(as my cousin call it. she was never my favourite cousin) went side to side. it felt wild today. and i wished you could see it i love how you love my hair. the hammock swung so high. i realized i was swinging it to a near vertical position and i wondered how i was keeping my balance. i only wanted to swing higher. i looked down. i thought it would be interesting to see just how incredible this feat was. it was only then, that i fell. when i was staring straight down at the ground. i am not sure why, for i had been balanced enough to dance around. even trying the macarena because i can be lame like that. and it surprises me that as i was falling out of the hammock (which only tossed me 4 feet or so in the air. . .maybe a little more) that i thought of so much. my first reaction, as i began to fall, was, dear god, hold on to something. but i quickly realized that was impossible and i let myself fall. thinking as i went, wow this is beautiful, it feels so long. i felt like i was floating as i fell, though i probably hit the ground in half a second. it was a picture perfect slow_motion experience. and i let out a scream--more like a yell. because it only seemed fit and i thought to myself, fall on your side. i actually thought of how to fall. how the hell did i have time? it was so strange. and i landed on the ground, and it hurt worse than i thought it would. the whole hammock flipped over, sending my pillow and blanket on my face. and i whispered to myself (becaue i talk to myself quite often) please, no broken bones. i hate breaking bones. but none were broken. and i walked it off and i thought, if you were trully adventurous, you woudl get back on. but then, my hip did the talking, "no, please give me a rest." it's funny though. i don't think i would have fallen if i hadn't looked down. and i only did so to scare myself, so i guess i accomplished my goal. 030608 ... Thibilent ethhh ... you're pretty 030608 ... phil I love the way night feels, when the moon is full and your body is extra sensitive to the light. 030608 ... dzd&cnfzd never look down, its a terrible thing be it hammock or ladder or tree top youre in. gravity laughs in your eyes as they meet with the ground thats so far from your trembling feet. the instant the height is assessed by your mind- your balance and confidence become hard to find. your chances of falling are greatly increased and your grip on your hand holds more likely released. so my lesson to you if you seek higher place, is to never look down or its danger you'll face. 030609 ... pobodys nerfect I decided to anyway, out on my sisters' second floor porch last night. It was really hot inside the house(some of the windows are in the most inconvienient places,lol), so I stepped out onto the porch, hoping to catch even a faint breeze. Ahh..it was so nice out there.. The wide white railings looked much more inviting than the wooden bench, so I went over to the corner and sat down, wrapping my left arm around the corner support post so I wouldn't fall off. I just sat there listening to the wind and the barking dogs, while looking at the clouds fighting to keep the moon hidden away, and occasionally taking a look at the neighbourhood down below me. It was kinda spooky looking down at first, but once I got used to the height,I put my legs up on the railing too. I probably would've stayed there if I wasn't so sleepy. I just kept having these thoughts that I'd fall asleep and over the edge I'd go with a lifeless mangled body being the result. Didn't really want my nephews to see that,so I played it smart and went back inside. :) 030609 ... rage what does a tightrope walker 100 feet up, and a guy getting a blowjob from an 80 year old woman have in common? they're both thinking the same thing: "don't look down!" 030609 ... x i hope that when it all adds up, i don't wake up tomorrow 030804 ... nomme when you're looking up 030804 ... shivers unless theres frozen icicles hanging from the ceiling threatening to fall on your head 040616 ... shivers frozen icicles... im dumb... how can u have icicles that arent frozen? 040616 what's it to you? who go blather from