i_smell_you_on_my_skin somebody I WALK IN I SEE YOU I WATCH YOU I SCAN YOU I WAIT FOR YOU I TICKLE YOU I TEASE YOU I SEARCH YOU I BREATHE YOU I TALK I SMILE I TOUCH YOUR HAIR YOU ARE THE ONE YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DID THIS TO ME YOU ARE MY OWN I SHOW YOU I FEEL YOU I ASK YOU I DON'T ASK I DON'T WAIT I WON'T ASK YOU I CAN'T TELL YOU I LIE I AM CRYING HARD THERE WAS BLOOD NO ONE TOLD ME NO ONE KNEW MY MOTHER KNOWS I FORGET YOUR NANE I DON'T THINK I BURY MY HEAD I BURY YOUR HEAD I BURY YOU MY FEVER MY SKIN I CANNOT BREATHE I CANNOT EAT I CANNOT WALK I AM LOSING TIME I AM LOSING GROUND I CANNOT STAND IT I CRY I CRY OUT I BITE I BITE YOUR LIP I BREATHE YOUR BREATH I PULSE I PRAY I PRAY ALOUD I SMELL YOU ON MY SKIN I SAY THE WORD I SAY YOUR NAME I COVER YOU I SHELTER YOU I RUN FROM YOU I SLEEP BESIDE YOU I SMELL YOU ON MY CLOTHES I KEEP YOUR CLOTHES Je viens Je te vois Je te dévisage Je t'explore Je t'attends Je t'excite Je t'attise Je te cherche Je te respire Je parle Je souris Je caresse tes cheveux C'est toi C'est toi qui m'a fait ça Tu es à moi Je t'expose Je te sens Je te demande Je te demande rien Je n'attends rien Je ne te demanderai rien Je ne peux rien te dire Je mens Je pleure à sanglots Il y eut du sang On ne m'a rien dit On ne savait pas Ma mère sait J'oublie ton nom Je ne pense à rien J'enfouis mon front J'enfouis le tien Je t'enterre Ma fièvre Ma peau Je ne respire plus Je ne mange plus Je ne marche plus Je perds le temps Je perds l'espace Je ne tiens plus Je crie Je m'écrie Je mords Je mords tes lèvres J'inspire ton souffle Je vibre Je prie J'implore Je te sens sur ma peau Je dis le nom Je dit ton nom Je t'abrite Je te protège Je t'échappe Je dors contre toi Je te sens sur mes vêtements Je garde les tiens 030804 ... somebody the most profound things are inexpressible war burned all over so only his teeth are good, he sits fused to the tank. metal holds the blast heat and the sun. his death is fresh and the smell pleasant. he must be pulled away skin splitting. he is a suggestion that affects people differently. the ocean washes the dead. they are face up face down in foam. bodies roll from swells to open in the marsh. his neck strains and pivots. he bites in a circle around him. he cannot raise his arms because he is packed in men. the thing that is all of them begins to scream. it is the war zoo. it is a landmark. pilots name it. the animal is folded in the landscape. a bone is broken so it cannot move away. instinct makes it watchful. it expects that someone will touch it to restore the pact. the shape in the blanket is stupid. a torso remains. the mother recalls a child␙s logical and adequate shadow. she runs her hand over and rejects the flesh. page 5 inflammatory essays destroy superabundance. starve the flesh, shave the hair, expose the bone, clarify the mind, define the will, restrain the senses, leave the family, flee the church, kill the vermin, vomit the heart, forget the dead. limit time, forgo amusement, deny nature, reject acquaintance, discard objects, forget truths, dissect myth, stop motion, block impulse, choke sobs, swallow chatter. scorn joy, scorn touch, scorn tragedy, scorn liberty, scorn constancy, scorn hope, scorn exaltation, scorn reproduction, scorn variety, scorn embellishment, scorn release, scorn rest, scorn sweetness, scorn the light. it is a question of form and function. it is a matter of revulsion. don␙t talk down to me. don␙t be polite to me. don␙t try to make me feel nice. don␙t relax. i␙ll cut the smile off your face. you think i don␙t know what␙s going on. you think i␙m afraid to react. the joke␙s on you. i␙m biding my time, looking for the spot. you think no one can reach you, no one can have what you have. i␙ve been planning while you␙re playing. i␙ve been saving while you␙re spending. the game is almost over so it␙s time you acknowledge me. do you want to fall not ever knowing who took you? page 6 shriek when the pain hits during interrogation. reach into the dark ages to find a sound that is liquid horror, a sound of the brink where man stops and the beast and nameless cruel forces begin. scream when your life is threatened. form a noise so true that your tormentor recognizes it as a voice that lives in his own throat. the true sound tells him that he cuts his flesh when he cuts yours, that he cannot thrive after he tortures you. scream that he destroys all the kindness in you and blackens every vision you could have shown him. 030804 ... somebody i_say_the_word 030817 ... random_relevant_nirvana_lyrics we'll share what's left and what we grew i'll go out of my way to prove i still smell her on you 030817 ... x i need to take a shower to forget you 030817 ... megan you're on my shoulder 030818 ... unhinged when we met up again for the first_time you were wearing your nag_champa and the memories of my bed being saturated with that smell even after you were gone pricked me when you asked me what my smell was because you could smell it even after i was gone smell can be the most powerful for me sometimes 100601 ... birdmad even now... faint scent of apple blossoms from your shampoo, trace of Marlboro smoke and just the slightest hints of the sort of clean sweat that beads on your forehead on the first hot day of the year. 100602 ... Doar this cuts me... 100802 ... doar am i viewing this, does this rage exist, and will it ever be... . 100802 what's it to you? who go blather from