frank_e TK I didn’t realize how much I missed him until we got off the phone and cried myself to sleep not knowing when next I'd be able to sneak away to hear his sweet comporting voice again. 020126 ... cube For your sake, i hope he's Taurus - that's your most compatible... ³ 020126 ... Toxic_Kisses in a Hurry It doesn’t much matter Actually It doesn’t matter @ all I fucked up anything him and me could of ever had. See we met we liked one another he knew I was afraid of commitment or for that matter the three "special" words so he never really said anything, but *shrugs* he didn’t really have to, I just knew, and any way I liked it better that way, after all I don't need to actually Hear those three dreaded words when he would show me though his actions how he felt, any way we had planed on me moving to wear he is (St Louis) this July, the reason for that is so we could save up money to get an apart meant their and pay every thing months in advance so I'd have time to find a job once I got their. Too bad I accidentally met my guy (I was walking home in the cold rain and he offered a ride, normally I'd say no but hay I'm cold and wet, so I say yes) any way every things hunky dory for like two moths and than as I'm spending the night Well any ways we decided we'd just be fuck buddies and nothing more, and seeing as how I didn’t really have that much experience any ways I thought it a great opportunity to learn some stuff b4 my move, and my guy completely understood this bc I had explained as much to him But The idiot I am I thought that we could say fuck buddies, I mean hell who needs emotional attachment right? Well apparently he does bc he gets all emotionally attached to me and now even if I had the cash to move I couldn’t bc of his attachment to me (And besides the fact Frank E has acquired himself a GF, sometime during late November if I remember correctly, although I don't really let that bother me bc I keep reassuring myself it won't last, bc well it just won’t, right?) I mean while on one had I cant stand him bc he's immature, I mean while I know you won't be seeing my picture by the word Mature in the dictionary anytime soon the fact of the matter is he is 34 and acts all of 7, and if even the slightest thing goes wrong he WHINES about it, I mean I don't mind complaining, but WHINEING!?! I just want to rip his vocal cords out sometimes. Any ways besides that and his bad since of humor he’s absolutely perfect in every way, as a matter a fact I suppose I should be happy that I found some one so wonderful and amazing, but I can't help but think of how in actuality all I did was fuck up what me and Frank E have. I mean we're still best friends but I know if it weren’t for my guy we would still be so much more than best friends. Anyhow what ever I fucked it up Maybe that’s why I got raped You know karma biting me in the ass and punishing me for fucking up so bad. *Sigh* 020129 ... Toxic_Kisses I got to talk to him tonight!!! I'm just so hyper hap-hap-happy now! Eeeee! I just called him out of the blue and (got the answering machine) he called me back tonight and I got to tell him about The (-detailed-) Plan, the one that I haven't even been able to tell my OD (Open Diary) about for fear of a certain person "axodently" stumbling onto it, and just hearing his voice was so splinderiffick! Of course his GF would call 15 mins into our convo (bleck) but I felt so special and thrilled that when I suggested getting off the phone so he could talk to her that he simply wouldn’t hear of it! gah I gunna be glowing all night! Although I did have to cut the convo short any how bc my guy had left earlier on his motorcycle and said he'd call once he got to his friends place (bout an hour away) to let me know he got their alright (isn’t he just the sweetest!) and so since we don't have call waiting I was afraid he'd be trying to call and wouldn’t be able to get through bc I was on the line w/ FraNk_E, and hell even if he hadn’t been calling I know that if I didn’t call acting all concerned that he'd accuse me of not caring about him *rolls her eyes* but I won't dwell on that (it's not worth it) but b4 me and Frank_E said our good byes he asked me to call again soon bc he missed talking to me, I swear he always knows just the right thing to say! *Happy* 020323 ... tk "happy" 4th of july babe 020704 ... TK CD: Northern Star Song: Suddenly Monday By: Melanie Chisholm ~~~ Suddenly Monday appears again. Were was the weekend? I lost it again. Run to the bus stop. It's never on time. I couldn't care less 'cos you make me feel fine. Whenever I'm down you're always around. Maybe this time true love I've found. What would I do if I didn't have you? The things that you say, the things that you do. You make me high, I wish that you knew. I wish I could tell you. Together we'd fly. Open your eyes, start reading my mind. Same conversation every day. So much to ask you but can't find a way. Wherever you're going can I come along? Whatever your star sign, wherever you're from. The end of the day and you're still around. My head's in the clouds, feet on the ground. Maybe I should and maybe you would. Maybe tonight if only we could. You make me high, I wish that you knew. I wish I could tell you. Together we'd fly. Open your eyes, start reading my mind. ..... The song just made me think of you when I listend to it ^.^ 030903 what's it to you? who go blather from