exboyfriend psycho insomnaic So Why do I still let you hurt me? Why do I listen and almost believe you when you tell me you love me? You say your sorry like the word was a wand that you could wave over me to make me forgive you. Well... I would take your wand and beat you over the head with it until you disapear. 000926 ... j_blue i moved out of my boyfriend's house yesterday, because he neglected me and took me for granted. we have been dating for a year. i feel kinda villainous, despite my righteousness. i feel sad, but also better. for a while i had felt like the only one who was part of a couple. we still love each other. 000927 ... tazfab my boyfriend also moved out some time ago. i neglected him but never took him for granted. we also dated for a year. actually a year and two weeks. i cry every night. i regret my mistakes. i wish i could see him now, but he's happy with someone else. i cry every night. robert smith knows how i feel: but there are long nights when i lay awake and i think of what i've done of how i've thrown my sweetest dreams away and what i've really become and however hard i try i will always feel regret however hard i try i will never forget i won't be able to love somebody else the way i loved him. i can't give myself to somebody else. my love wasn't a lie. i wish i was dead. i am dead. 001116 ... j_blue i hate them, they suck. i mean, you leave them for being flawed. then they become perfect. then you start to date them. is it codependance? anyways, possibly the worst part, is that the sex is phenomenal, better than when you were together. i wonder if i get back with him, will it still be this great??? 001218 ... j_blue have since gotten back with and left again the horrid ex only this time we both agree its better i hate withdrawals for once he isnt persuing me the paxil keeps his withdrawals under control so i cant even think he is feeling something like what im feeling my friends were all scarred by their men, so im lucky sad consolation i dont get to be them 020114 ... j_blue . 020114 ... j_blue hm 020114 ... blown cherry so much said on this page goes for me too. But now I think we've said our final goodbyes. I'm tired of these mood swings. His and mine. He smiles sadly while I fuck other people. He cries sadly because he is lonely and has no others to fuck. I break down and want him back. He is strong and sees I am rebounding. He is weak and wants me back. I am strong and see I am wrong for him now. Tonights temper tantrum was it. If he's going to call me that too, then forget it. I can't be friends with some one like that. I need a friend who trusts in my sanity. my best_friend 020325 ... distorted tendencies One of them is now back to being my good friend. You know who you are. :) 020325 ... Syrope i totally agree on the exsex j_blue...its amazing. 020325 ... devalis we said we'd still be friends couldn't stand the ends strike one strike two strike three there's no amends 020920 ... electric i talk to you i instant message you i come on to you i fall in love with you you were my first huge love more gigantic than life itself ....i almost took my life myself.... you were my first huge tragedy tragedy struck twice that day the day she died, the day i died and u arrived to hold my hand with glitter on your cheek from HIM we tried to be just friends but i held you in my arms saying "but one more time wont hurt".. and when the pain began between my legs i died again so why again do you haunt my mind again do we do this all again? i hope i die again 030625 ... lenore the most bothersome creatures on the planet. you try and get away from the past and there they are again pulling you down. 040121 ... ingabing i was nervous around you because i couldn't read you then i liked you because you made me laugh then i loved you and i was terrified and worse--felt terror manifest itself in anger then i could only be cautious because i had no idea what i'd gotten myself into and loving you was a disease that ate my flesh and sucked my bones and already i was losing you then i loved you and missed you and hated myself then i loved you and hated you then (i'm pretty sure) i just hated you and now? now i feel nothing. 060625 what's it to you? who go blather from