psycho insomnaic So
Why do I still let you hurt me?
Why do I listen and almost believe you
when you tell me you love me?
You say your sorry
like the word was a wand
that you could wave over me
to make me forgive you.
I would take your wand
and beat you over the head with it
until you disapear.
j_blue i moved out of my boyfriend's house yesterday, because he neglected me and took me for granted. we have been dating for a year. i feel kinda villainous, despite my righteousness. i feel sad, but also better. for a while i had felt like the only one who was part of a couple. we still love each other. 000927
tazfab my boyfriend also moved out some time ago. i neglected him but never took him for granted.

we also dated for a year. actually a year and two weeks. i cry every night. i regret my mistakes. i wish i could see him now, but he's happy with someone else. i cry every night.

robert smith knows how i feel:

but there are long nights when i lay awake
and i think of what i've done
of how i've thrown my sweetest dreams away
and what i've really become
and however hard i try
i will always feel regret
however hard i try
i will never forget

i won't be able to love somebody else the way i loved him. i can't give myself to somebody else. my love wasn't a lie. i wish i was dead.

i am dead.
j_blue i hate them, they suck.

i mean, you leave them for being flawed. then they become perfect. then you start to date them.

is it codependance? anyways, possibly the worst part, is that the sex is phenomenal, better than when you were together. i wonder if i get back with him, will it still be this great???
j_blue have since gotten back with and left again the horrid ex

only this time we both agree its better

i hate withdrawals

for once he isnt persuing me

the paxil keeps his withdrawals under control

so i cant even think he is feeling something like what im feeling

my friends were all scarred by their men, so im lucky

sad consolation

i dont get to be them
j_blue . 020114
j_blue hm 020114
blown cherry so much said on this page goes for me too.

But now I think we've said our final goodbyes.
I'm tired of these mood swings.
His and mine.
He smiles sadly while I fuck other people.
He cries sadly because he is lonely and has no others to fuck.
I break down and want him back.
He is strong and sees I am rebounding.
He is weak and wants me back.
I am strong and see I am wrong for him now.

Tonights temper tantrum was it.
If he's going to call me that too, then forget it.
I can't be friends with some one like that.

I need a friend who trusts in my sanity.
my best_friend
distorted tendencies One of them is now back to being my good friend. You know who you are. :) 020325
Syrope i totally agree on the exsex j_blue...its amazing. 020325
devalis we said we'd still be friends
couldn't stand the ends
strike one
strike two
strike three
there's no amends
electric i talk to you
i instant message you
i come on to you
i fall in love with you

you were my first huge love
more gigantic than life itself
....i almost took my life myself....

you were my first huge tragedy
tragedy struck twice that day
the day she died, the day i died
and u arrived to hold my hand
with glitter on your cheek from HIM

we tried to be just friends
but i held you in my arms saying
"but one more time wont hurt"..

and when the pain began
between my legs
i died again

so why again
do you haunt my mind again
do we do this all again?

i hope i die again
lenore the most bothersome creatures on the planet. you try and get away from the past and there they are again pulling you down. 040121
ingabing i was nervous around you
because i couldn't read you
then i liked you
because you made me laugh
then i loved you
and i was terrified
and worse--felt terror manifest itself in anger
then i could only be cautious
because i had no idea what i'd gotten myself into
and loving you was a disease
that ate my flesh and sucked my bones
and already i was losing you
then i loved you and missed you
and hated myself
then i loved you and hated you
then (i'm pretty sure) i just hated you
and now?
now i feel nothing.
what's it to you?
who go