hey_crowl unhinged i'm moving back to ohio either monday or tuesday....i have time to do what i want with my life again look for our story wednesday/thursday 050521 ... crOwl hey. right on. 050522 ... unhinged i know it's friday already and no story....but i've had laundry and unpacking and gallivanting to do. full of excuses i know; but i started reading from the beginning. it's been so long that i guess a few more days won't kill us. i'm sure you've seen the movie good will hunting. you know the scene where ben affleck tells matt damon that he keeps expecting to come to the house to pick him up one morning and for a couple seconds everyday he hopes that matt/will won't be there. and then at the end of the movie, ben knocks on the door and matt/will is gone. i went to youngstown yesterday to look for a friend and found out he doesn't live there anymore. i was sad for about two seconds and i've been jumping happy ever since. he got the hell out. yay. 050527 ... crOwl i did see good will hunting. the scene you mentioned is a powerful one. it must have been exciting for you to see it become reality. i left my hometown when i was 18. it was so necessary and what started everything for me. take your time with our story. it's a good time for a hiatus with tim's death bringing it to an abrupt change. i'm looking forward to see where you take it. i had tim die because i went through a death at that time in my life, not a person, but a situation in my career. it just felt like having him die mirrored the loss i was feeling. presently, some incredible new life has sprung forth which i'm sure to include in square the circle. did you hear about the jeff buckley documentary, amazing grace? it's a first time film from laurie trombley and nyla bialek adams. there's a lot of footage of jeff performing and telling jokes, interviews with other artists that talk about his genius and best of all, it explains how his art endured despite major commercial attention. the ending, a sepia-toned rendition of "grace" is perfect. he may gone, but his gifts are still with us. 050527 ... unhinged well, i found out that it was just a lie. that he lied because he didn't want to see me. which was about the stupidest thing he could have done, but he will wish he hadn't in a couple of months. douchebag. stupid fucking douchebag. i have heard about the buckley documentary. but i will probably have to wait til it comes out on dvd since i don't live in the city anymore. i am so agitated. i hate when people lie. 050527 ... unhinged dude, i read the whole thing and i'm having troubles getting it started again. tim dying just doesn't seem right to me somehow. it's throwing me off. but i'm working on it though. 050530 ... crOwl death in general throws all of us off, but it is part of the circle, which kayla and scott must somehow square off enough to make sense of what is left of their existence to go on. it's a huge turning point and a place where the story is forced to undergo a difficult transition. 050531 ... unhinged tag you're it 050601 ... crOwl i was so glad to see you began the story again. square_the_circle_chapter_15_ i like how you described what tim was feeling inside his head, how he knew something bigtime was wrong with him. kathy and i will be in nyc, crowl_in_soho_nyc, until sunday, so look for it early next week. 050602 ... unhinged you should go to the village and make a pilgrimage to sin-e if it's still there :-P part of me despises every person that got to hear jeff_buckley there; the live at sin-e legacy edition is my favorite jeff album(s) to date. 050602 ... unhinged today was a shitty day; i don't want to even try to write on our story today; sorry :-\ 050608 ... crOwl hope today was better. 050609 ... unhinged i would really like to email you to explain, but i can't write square_the_circle anymore right now. it was fun, but it echoes too loudly right now. 050611 ... crOwl you don't have to explain. i wish you well. write when you can. 050611 ... crOwl for me, square the circle has become an extension of my adventures in a parallel world as it is being affected in our present known reality. i plan on continuing for as long as events warrant a translation. look for it. perhaps it belies this game of tag, but playgrounds are the circus ring of the drama of our lives. our world grows. evolves an endless train of thought. changes. no use holding on. go forward to the next thing. 050612 ... crOwl hey everybody. what's up? 050626 ... two what's up with me, hmm i'm listening to tipsy in itunes after having just posted a new image into my livejournal. which, since you can't access my homepage, would you like to watch my sketches appear sporadically in my blog? http://millhaven.livejournal.com i'm eagerly awaiting the next installment of cadeau_de_vous ... and in the real world, i'm eagerly awaiting san diego comic con, which, it's looking as if i will attend for the 6th year in a row, after all. rocks_out!! 050626 ... crOwl have fun in san diego. we were just there in march, kathy, greta, and i, as you can read our wide-eyed adventures in everyone_is_here__. i love pacific beach, especially writing at the brick-colored cafe on the boardwalk next to the sea. it is where i wrote much of monet_on_bartlett's second draft. what will you be doing there? who are you going with? where are you leaving from? i will take a look at your sketches now. thanks for your interest in cadeau_de_vous. i'm receiving Imaginal_connectivity by the bucket loads. water to dry soil. rain to earth, ready and thirsty. today's episode is dedicated to your fascination. 050702 ... crOwl with sock-line division dark/light monet_on_bartlett 050702 ... unhinged yeah, he really does live in harrisburg. *shakeshead* i went to visit him there and i like pa a lot more than i used to. have you ever heard the band ugly casanova? it's the singer of modest_mouse so it's like that...but different somehow. a little more smooth but just as weird. hotcha girls off sharpen your teeth is a beautiful song. the violin parts are...beautiful. check it out ;-) 050710 ... crOwl i did and here as i sit listening to parasites fom sharpen your teeth, i must do, of necessity and without hesitation, two things. 1. thank you for introducing me to ugly casanova 2. inform you of my highest praise for prodigal_emotions. i hope you proceed. i am piqued. i am impressed by your ability to write fiction and the visceral way you tell a good story. other than that, i would only hope your life was as completely happy as mine. 050710 ... crOwl i did and here as i sit listening to parasites fom sharpen your teeth, i must do, of necessity and without hesitation, two things. everybody read: prodigal_emotions_ 050710 ... crOwl that's the second first. the second second then is? tell you how last night at the robin hill summer soiree, i lit a california candle, which is a firework sparkler but huge, like a torch. i ran around the crowd, around the chinese lanterns almost burning people with my comet splash of fire. thor told me later that i was performing a ritualisic tribal dance. 050710 ... unhinged my brother asked me to write a story about him when i introduced him to square_the_circle . so prodigal_emotions_ is about my brother; and another boy i love as much as my brother. a synthesis of the two of them. for some reason, ugly casanova made me think of you. not sure why; it just sounded like robinhill. my brother introduced me to them. i burned a copy off of his laptop when he was home. and i gave him a copy of elliott_smith 's 'from a basement on the hill' and the two cds i have of a string quartet playing radiohead. thanks anyway, but i don't think i'm so good at writing fiction. it's usually only thinly veiled autobiography/biography at best. 050710 ... unhinged i can't keep a story going without you 050804 ... crOwl awwww. well, think of a new one. 050805 ... unhinged i can't seem to keep a story going long without you. 051004 ... unhinged haha i forgot i mentioned that already. *sigh* 051004 ... crOwl that's funny. perhaps i should start a new one? let me know. 051004 ... unhinged i really wanted to keep up with prodigal_emotions_ but my creativity dwindles when it's left to it's own devices maybe a new blather story with my old blather friend might cheer me up. my life has been in the pits for the past four months. 051004 ... unhinged or a new installment of an old story if you feel up to it square_the_circle_chapter_17_ 051005 ... crOwl i'm definately feeling up to it. 051005 ... unhinged i've been looking for it where'd it go? 051008 ... crOwl it's back. 051009 ... unhinged just in time for me to leave town phooey i'll check in when i can 051009 ... unhinged dude right after we restarted square_the_circle_ i ended up kind of permanently moving back to wisconsin with very little internet access; definitely not enough to sit down and write a story. so it turns out i'm an asshole. sorry. 051030 ... crOwl it's alright...to me you will always be a good friend. we left the story in a place of hope...and that's all that anyone wants. someday when you get better access and want to continue, i'll be here. thanks for your companionship. it was a pleasure to write with you. 051031 ... ever dumbening i'm going surfing tomorrow, for the first time ever. in as much as i'll be able to with my foal legs, i'll rip one out for you. 060106 ... crOwl best wishes as you go out james. as an avid skier, you should do well. i remember my first time...a lonely stretch of beach at the far east end of ventura where no one could see my gangling attempts. try this before you go out: lay flat on the floor as if you are on your board then pop-up to your feet in a crouched position. it simulates the process. it took me a few months of going out twice a day before i felt comfortable enough to join the locals and be accepted. soon after, i was creating individuals in my head and then teams, scoring each ride and charting the statistics. and then my first daughter was born... let me know how it goes... 060107 ... ever paddling long day good stay tuned party now with daxle! 060107 ... crOwl learning to surf does involve never-ending paddling, but look at it this way: the reward is broad shoulders! ...and what does a party with daxle entail? 060109 ... ever dumbening the_ocean_as_metaphor too easy too rich piles of ideas and clothes and bills wrap a tree in steel cut a keg with air a tale of two weekends two years two lives this is just a place holder this is not a pipe 060110 ... unhinged look for our story again soon; i finally got internet up here or something. 060110 ... crOwl WHOO HOO! 060111 ... unhinged i lost my internet access for a couple days. but thursday through sunday should be good for awhile til my boys around here start slacking off. 060126 ... unhinged sorry for the massive gap in square_the_circle_ but i've been in florida for the last week being auntie nicole with the kids in disney world. i know it's been like two weeks but i've been thinking too hard about what i'm gonna do next. maybe it'll roll easier off my tongue now. 060218 ... crOwl it's good to see you back...that's cool you were in florida. i'm sure you had fun being auntie...we're planning a trip to anna maria, ft. myers, sanibel and marco at the end of march... interesting you got rid of clara...something that needed to be cut off...guess it's time to take a look into scott's past. 060219 ... unhinged well, it was unseasonably cold in florida until the last two days i was there and now it's finally seasonably cold here in wisconsin so now i have a pretty nasty cold. blah. the kids were mostly awestruck by disney world because they are so little. which in it's own way was rather cute i guess. i used to be obsessed with collecting shells; i hear sanibel is one of the best places in the u.s. to collect shells. hopefully it will be warmer there in a month and a little farther south. 060219 ... crOwl nicole...sorry to hear about your cold. i hope you are feeling better soon. if you can, have someone make this drink for you. crOwl's cold remedy: juice of lemon slices of raw ginger TBSP cayenne TBSP honey 1 teapot of boiling hot water pour hot water over ingredients in an earthernware mug preferably made by a friend. allow it to steep. go and play the violin for an hour. return to your tea and sip it until it is gone. keep making it and drinking until you feel better. (what songs did you play? did you play your own songs?) tell me more about your obsession with shell collecting? have you ever read, "the shell collector?" it''s a series of short stories by a calculated lyricist-type author. you would enjoy it. have you made the connection with da vinci and shells? the nautilus? we went to sanibel for the first time last year and though there were shells, it was nothing compared to anna maria island. there were near mountains of shells, all kinds, and great shore birds. pelicans, flying low, with their pouches hanging down, their feathered bellies failing to get wet on the surface of the sea. and some funny, quick-footed black-faced seagulls and perhaps rooks. do you have two nieces now? arielle has a sister? what was your favorite part of disneywOrld? did you hug any of the costumed characters? i dress up like a snow tiger at our local ski resort, seven springs. i bet some of the kids you went to school with in youngstown have skied or snowboarded at seven springs. did you know coheed and cambria are coming to pittsburgh in late may? 060219 ... unhinged my cold has only gotten worse since i wrote that yesterday morning. i don't have any of those ingredients either i don't think. i've just been making chai tea bags for the past couple of days and taking elderberry. arielle has a little brother owen who will be turning two on saturday. funny that you mention it, meeting the characters with the kids was actually my favorite part. the princess dinner where the characters could actually talk was the cutest. owen kissed belle on the cheek and got jasmine to pet his face. then for the rest of that day he kept saying 'jasmine...saw jasmine' heh heh heh. it could have been the massive cleavage hanging out of her costume. i'm pretty sure the ski club at ysu went to seven springs quite often. and i had a lot of friends that lived in sharon pa who probably went skiing there at some point. ginger, lemon, cayenne, and honey; i'll look into that the next time i go to the grocery store. 060220 ... crOwl it is amazing how children react to larger than life costumed characters. it must be a struggle for their little souls. i'm sure there's a part of them that realizes underneath all that fuzz and pageantry is a human being, but then like santa claus, it's all the feelgood and wonder that keeps them believing its real. i have so much fun doing it. there's such freedom to be goofy and crazy. even though my friends know it's me, they still see me as snowball and expect me to act the part of animal-clown. what owen said about jasmine was extremely real to him, especially at that stimulus sensitive age. it's a true priviledge to inhabit the lives of impressionable children. innocent clay that we can help shape into recepticles of love. so, you're in wisconsin...music school? which one? 060221 ... unhinged sorry about the little lull; today was really the first day i've left my apartment since i got that cold. 060225 ... unhinged i was going to the music school at university of wisconsin milwaukee but i haven't been taking any classes for the past two semesters so i've effectively dropped out. my shoulder is a big deterent to being able to practice as much as i need to to make a career out of playing the violin and i'm sick of being subjected to other people's shitty opinions as the right way to do something. music, especially the violin, is too personal for me to make a living at it i think. it's been a hard conclusion for me to come to in about the past six months. it's still a tentative plan but i'm thinking about going to a technical college to get a degree in recording and musical technologies so that i can be a producer/engineer in a recording studio. if i would have kept going to music school though, i would have quit playing the violin altogether and i couldn't do that. i love the violin, but not enough to be in physical pain everyday and too much to let other people dictate to me what sounds good. i'm more rock and roll at heart so i think the studio is a better place for me anyway as far as my career goes; my experience in youngstown definitely solidified that for me. string players are usually classical snobs. the kids were too young to be in disbelief about the characters. it was awe more than disbelief. especially with the princesses that are actual human beings. i think that's part of the reason why jasmine had such an impression on owen; that and he likes to flirt already. hehe. tomorrow is his second birthday. oh *sigh* , those kids are at the fun ages. i just wish i was around to influence them more. ;-) internet during the week is still kinda spotty. i'll write when i can now that i'm starting to feel better. 060225 ... unhinged shells...shells i love the ocean and the beach but i hate going in the water. and i've always loved collecting and sorting and categorizing things. my family started going to the outer banks of north carolina near cape hatteras when i was in high school. since i'm afraid of the water and afraid_of_swimming (sic) one of my favorite pasttimes at the beach obviously became collecting shells. they have shells on the beaches near cape hatteras that were white with varying stripes of purple and i liked to collect those and the many different shades of scallop shells especially the red ones and as big of conch shells as i could find (i found a rather sizable whole black one once) but the beaches of north carolina were only good for shelling the first summer i went there and have been pretty sparse ever since. me and my dad would go for sunrise walks at the lighthouse and i would take my shell bucket and go shelling. that's my kind of vacation: wandering around the cape from the lighthouse to where it juts out again picking up any cool shells that happened to cross my path. my favorite part was finding good ones that the ocean had just washed in on my way back to the lighthouse that weren't there the first time i walked by. i like being near the ocean, just not in it. 060225 ... crOwl as always, don't feel any kind of stress to write at square the circle. it feels to me like it will always be there. like there can't be an end to it...so, as you said, write when you can. i'll be gone to seattle starting wednesday night for ten days anyway... i think i caught your cold. i was completely slammed. headache, chills, coughing, sneezing...FUCK! 060226 ... crOwl as always, don't feel any kind of stress to write at square the circle. it feels to me like it will always be there. like there can't be an end to it...so, as you said, write when you can. i'll be gone to seattle starting wednesday night for ten days anyway... i think i caught your cold. i was completely slammed. headache, chills, coughing, sneezing...FUCK! 060226 ... unhinged damnit....you sure have been doing a lot of traveling in the past year. my brother-in-law's mom lives in or near seattle. she is moving to kaui with her husband within the next couple years though i think. as soon as his construction company's last project is done there. *shrugs* i found out today those white and purple pieces of shell i liked to collect better than anything are actually waumpum. funny that, the way i scoured any stretch of beach as far as i was willing to go of all their purple and white pieces. i could see why they would be used like money though; they were irresistible for me to collect. i don't know if i feel guilty about not writing at square the circle perse, just that it gives me something to look forward to and stuff. it feels like scott and kayla are on the second leg of the square, finding their way back around. i was also thinking about starting up prodigal_emotions_ or unhinged_frankless over on blue again. we'll see what happens when you are gone. i guess i should just keep working on my manuscript. but anyways, have fun in seattle; i hope your cold is mostly gone before you travel. sick travelling is the worst. i'm finally almost better. steam was my best remedy but i think i had a chest cold moreso than that flu type thing you seem to have. yeah, have fun. me and the story will be waiting for your return. 060227 ... crOwl thanks, that's much appreciated...we're so excited. i'm almost better as well. only coughing now. it's our first big trip with bethany, our oldest daughter, who is 23. we used to write together at blather...her skite name was anne and joe's baby lilly. it was her idea to go to seattle. we'll be on the amtrak for two nights out, then at the ace hotel for two nights, the edgewater for one and the big event will be one night in the redcreek treehouse overlooking mt. ranier. back home it will be two more nights on the train. i'll probably be able to post a little here and there at some wi-fi spots. gotta keep an eye on my homies y'all. it's good to hear you'll be writing more. you have a lot of red and blue fans who are high-fiving me right now. now go and get yourself ALL better. i'll be back completely on march 12. 060228 ... unhinged i'll be checking now and again. i can't believe it's march already. i've had a rather unproductive year. i've known him for almost a year. at least accomplishing nothing seems to have gone by rather fast. but have much fun on your trip. it sounds like it should be. me and my dad had some alone time in disney world and went on some of the more rollercoaster type rides the kids couldn't ride alone. it was an interesting experience for me to share that with my dad at this point in my life; i'm 24. i haven't really told my parents about not finishing my degree, but my dad knows anyways and i think he kinda gets it. hopefully, you can have some alone time with bethany. i think fathers and daughters need that sort of thing from time to time. it's late; i'll go to sleep now. 060301 ... unhinged p_ro__cr_ast___in___at_i__on 060324 ... unhinged i was kinda hoping there would be a new installment to square_the_circle today; it's been a tough day of sobriety 060405 ... unhinged i was reading sunshine__comes__quietly and noticed you mentioned califone and kinski, two bands i discovered recently on a mixed cd called shanti project 3. sigur_ros , arab strap, and the black heart procession also have two tracks each. i found it in the discount bin at my favorite record store in milwaukee for $3 and it was probably the best $3 i've spent on a cd in awhile. i picked it up because of the sigur_ros and want to go back and get some more sigur_ros , kinski, and arab strap. coheed_and_cambria are coming to milwaukee on may 9 and i'm almost sure to go with my friend timmy who i turned on to them. sigur_ros is playing in milwaukee on may 10 and i also want to go see them cause i hear their live show is amazing. and my friends play every thursday which would be may 11. i don't know how i feel about 3 days of concerts straight...and i'm contemplating going to the sigur_ros show alone. i like to do my yoga to that shanti project cd, which i believe was a benefit for shanti.org, and somehow they just make me really meditative. i mentioned it to john of john_and_i over on blue but me and him have had a rather drastic falling out since then and i think he would ruin it for me. *sigh* but anyways, i should have known you and kathy would have already known about most if not all of the bands on that cd. it's a nice mix though. i'm into it. 060411 ... crOwl i highly urge you to go to sigur ros. kathy and i saw them at the byham theatre in pittsburgh about three years ago and it still ranks as the finest concert experience we have ever had. their music is unique to the person and the current state of life, immediately becoming a cathartic soundtrack, transporting you deep inside the landscape of your soul where you can journey back and forward into time. at least that's what it did for me. for you, it will be something altogether individual. 060412 ... unhinged i've already been transported pretty deep inside myself just listening to recordings. i'm almost afraid of what will happen if i see them live. all i know is that i don't want him to see me cry, so i'm pretty sure i'll go alone. they are playing at the riverside theater which is right along a major bus route that runs near my apartment so i could feasibly go very much alone. i'm waiting for you to decide about square_the_circle ;-) i'm currently at home in ohio so i'm hoping to get a few more rounds of our story in before i head back to milwaukee on monday. 060412 ... ever dumbening hey kev, still creating, just not with words right now. tried to email you, but got bounced, probably old. http://blather.newdream.net/e/ever_dumbening_le_artiste.html participating in this: http://proartsgallery.org/ebos/index.html hope you're well. j 060601 ... unhinged looks like leaving an entire chapter to me effectively stalled the whole thing 060601 ... unhinged i woke up at 5:30am today and thought it would be the perfect time to get some writing done :-) 060608 ... unhinged I HATE MY JOB i almost got fired at work today. and i missed a good portion of my friends' very first public show and then i hopefully left my keys at home and i'm locked out of my apartment that i'm technically not supposed to be living in....ggggaaahhhhh so i wouldn't expect any new installments at square_the_circle until monday at the earliest because i have to work tomorrow/today and sunday too. blah. i fucking hate that job. i need to get looking for a new one asap. damn. 060610 ... unhinged sorry; i didn't mean to delay this long but i worked four days last week AND i moved. but i'm done with my chapter now. i want to start writing together again. 060703 ... unhinged thanks for the invite to the party; i would love to attend a party at robin hill someday but like you said this past saturday was impossible. not to be impatient, but..... 060711 ... unhinged i just read chapter 25 i worked five days this week; i'm afraid one of these days the manager is going to snap far enough to hit me cause he's psycho. i'm putting in my application next door and taking my teaching resume to the music store i want to work at tomorrow. hopefully, i'll be around a quieter computer tomorrow so i can write. but i'm becoming terminally hostile from that job. the buddha in me is yelling to quit but the accountant in me tells me to wait on walking out til i have another job. *sigh* but i'm getting out of there as soon as possible. and maybe if i have more daytime like hours i'll be able to be around a computer more often. but i have to work starting tuesday this week....i'm almost positive i'll end up working six days. i'll probably quit by the end of the week. too much stress and hostility for $6/hr. fuck that. i'll be thinking about square_the_circle though; it'll give me something nice to think about at work. 060716 ... unhinged unfortunately i can't think about square_the_circle at work; i'm too busy silenty cowering hoping that any of the managerial wrath doesn't fall on my head; but unfortunately it usually does since i'm the most junior person in the kitchen. i inquired about working with the wisconsin autism project today. my cousin's three year old son is severely autistic. but watching little ethan finally learn how to talk or grab his cookies out of the cupboard or his milk out of the refrigerator and bring it to you so you can give him some; all the accomplishments of an autistic child become so....reborn. having so many small children in my family right now, my niece and nephew blowing through all their developmental milestones without any difficulty and then seeing the sad fact that little ethan's brain just isn't wired right. but slowly, with plenty of occupational and speech therapy he's getting there. so i think i would love to learn how to help these kids, help them learn. we'll see what happens with that. but unfortunately, i think i need to take a hiatus or a sabbatical or something from square_the_circle for awhile. i'm so sorry kev; for me, for you, for us, and for our story. but i've got get this adult business of making a living and better yet liking it out of the way. 060726 ... unhinged check your email; you have a surprise of the musical variety 060803 ... unhinged DUDE i have super good news! i got a violin teaching job at a music store on saturday and they called me today and told me that i am going to have 20 students to start and they want me to be available for a third day for any incoming students they might get. not only is it a teaching job, but it pays bank. my fee is $15 per student and i net $12.50 after studio fees. i consulted my tarot a couple months back about my job situation and the tarot said as long as i wasn't a lazy ass, i'd have a career-oriented job by september. looks like the tarot was right on this time ;-) 060814 ... unhinged looks like my recording project is over already. i'm not sure if i want to get into it right now because i'm pretty upset. but most of my students are really cool. *shrugs* 060824 ... unhinged dude DUDE i think i may email you to tell you the gory details, but shit is very good these days. i finally procured my laptop from my friends' house and i can ghenk the internet from someone's wireless signal in my building so we could totally start writing our story again. i forget whose turn it is....if it's mine, i'll go. 061014 ... ever dumbening in case you're up at 11p (8p on the left coast) this evening (may 22) go to kqed.org and stream their audio. it's a recording of mary oliver on city arts and lectures. your local station might carry the program too, at a more reasonable day and time. 070522 ... crOwl thanks for the heads up james... 070522 ... unhinged check your email 071009 ... unhinged just wrote i_dreamt_that_i_dreamt_07 on my new macbook :-D it's such a slick cool little thing. and i think this qualifies as my second major purchase of my adult life. i was hoping to wait til christmas but my other computer decided to die earlier than i wanted it to. toys get more expensive the older you get. bah. 071020 ... jane {your card was perfectly lovely. i thank you heartfully} 071026 ... crOwl you're welcome...have fun working on the_blather_red_book. 071026 ... unhinged HEY over here; over here story? *pout* *pout* *POUT* i know i know rclg yeah i know (sorry; i need something to distract me from the weather and my roommate. i've been quite the crank lately) 071203 ... crOwl oh my darling nicole. because i love you so much, look soon to the recent. a surprise kiss. 071203 ... jane i want to show you my new painting, and see what you think. it's a little creepy for me, and it makes me uncomfortable. but that's intriguing to me, because there's not much about my creations that have ever made me uncomfortable. so it's interesting. 080128 ... unhinged are you buried in snow? 080308 ... crOwl a lot less than we could have received, considering your old stomping grounds got 18...about four inches and more expected...how about you? 080308 ... unhinged it only snowed an inch or two here last night....for once 080308 ... unhinged somehow i just knew our story would be there today ;-) 080728 ... unhinged thanks i love the direction you took with the bebe. my biological clock has been tugging on me and i find myself softening to the thought of a cute little peanut of my own if i had the right boy in my life. looks like i have internet in my new apartment. *grin* 080730 ... unhinged how big is your apple orchard? what do you do with the apples? it is already beginning to smell like cider time around here. 080915 ... jane i owe you a phone call but i couldn't hear your message at all, what was it about? 080915 ... cr0wl unhinged: we have a few apple trees, i'd love to have an orchard and we hope to someday, as we keep planting new trees every year. the apples we do pick we eat, or make sauce for pancakes. but cider-making would be a dream. i used to make it in college at our school's farm. so many drunken bees... jane: my message was concerning johnny west's new record, "the chicken angel woman with a triangle." have you heard it yet? it's awesome. he's a real genre-breaker. this is a sound mosaic of superlative beauty and talent. 080915 ... unhinged my mother would take me to stearns farm which was a little slice of farming heaven in the suburban city when i was a kid to feed the animals and get carving pumpkins and drink cider and eat donuts. and the good cider only came to the grocery store in the fall. it is already starting to smell like fall. i saw my breath tonight while he was pumping gas at the gas station. the warm weather doesn't last long enough around here. i have heard johnny's new album. i can't stop listening to it as a matter of fact. i've had it a week now and listened to it ten times from beginning to end easily. and gave it to three people. i love the instrumentation and the melody but that only puts a pinky finger on why i can't stop listening to it. i was humming/singing part of it at the lesson counter at work today waiting for a student. speaking of which, my ep is very close to done. i want to craft you a special copy. 080915 ... raze you two be careful, or you'll make my head blush until it takes flight like a runaway helium balloon... 080916 ... crOwl that's funny, because i fel the same EXACT way about johnny west's (raze@red_blather) album... it is all i love about life. he's representing his total collaged, montaged self, which from repeated listenings i've discovered at least seven. some of his songs would be dizzying pop hits, others are almost r&b, some are soul, jazz, shoegazer, fantasy, vaudeville, funk, blues, whateverthefuck....everything. i hear bits of grant lee buffalo, modest mouse, bob dylan, the books, paul westerberg, okervil river, yann tiersen, but then a completely organic sound of his own making. he's my new favorite to be sure. i'm fashioning him a magazine representing my visions of the songs. 080916 ... crOwl that's funny, because i fel the same EXACT way about johnny west's (raze@red_blather) album... it is all i love about life. he's representing his total collaged, montaged self, which from repeated listenings i've discovered at least seven. some of his songs would be dizzying pop hits, others are almost r&b, some are soul, jazz, shoegazer, fantasy, vaudeville, funk, blues, whateverthefuck....everything. i hear bits of grant lee buffalo, modest mouse, bob dylan, the books, paul westerberg, okervil river, yann tiersen, but then a completely organic sound of his own making. he's my new favorite to be sure. i'm fashioning him a magazine representing my visions of the songs. 080916 ... unhinged and he's very lucky to have a book of your collage. (you will love it johnny) 080916 ... unhinged i sent you email of something you requested (blather wouldn't let me write 'check your email' because i already wrote that. the cave crumbled and it said something like 'ummm...didn't you already say that?' what the fuck....maybe i wanted to reiterate myself. sheesh) 090209 ... cr0wl thanks for john's notes! they're awesome...you must be proud of the little composer...i laughed so hard when you said, "sheesh." 090209 ... ever dumbening since you don't frequent the blue pages these days ... http://blather.newdream.net/b/blathercon_wisconsin_2010.html 100710 ... cr0wl thanks for the heads up. read it and of course i'm totally jealous but very happy for you, unhinged, and ouroboros. sounded like skitefest, which i wouldn't have expected any less. somehow i felt like i was there... 100710 ... unhinged you were here; e_d showed us his pics of robin hill and you and your beasties and your family. i am contemplating making a journal much like the rclg prize for someone. wanna write another story? 100711 ... cr0wl you should make an unhinged journal for sure. they are so fun and meditative. and best of all when they are finished, they tell a story about who you are. as for you and me writing another story together...who starts it? you, i should say, since you asked me this time. 100711 ... unhinged i am afraid telling him how i feel will make him run away. on the other hand, maybe if he did run away it wouldn't be such a bad thing and at least all these feelings of the past seven months would not be bottled up inside of me *sigh* i am thinking. thinking pretty hard about what our story should be. keep a look out. 100712 ... unhinged i think i finally came up with an idea for a new story for us. it is a little seedling in my head. look for it soon (and i am totally going to make him an unhinged book of exactly how i feel about him and give it to him; i am beyond caring how it will make him feel) 100717 ... cr0wl so glad to hear you're going to make the book. you'll love the process. he will love the journal. put some stuff in there that only he knows about. i'm looking forward to reading your seed of an idea story. it's been so long since we wrote together. i think we will always have a story that is ours. 100718 ... unhinged memories_like_clouds_1 since our stories don't have endings, i figured this one should start at the end... 100719 ... cr0wl tag 100720 ... unhinged some seriously intense shit happened yesterday so i am a little stalled on the story. sorry; i know you don't mind if i don't write back right away, but.... i am so exhausted my mind can barely focus on anything but how relieved and sad i am 100721 ... cr0wl you've got me worried now. i hope you are alright. take your time. be careful. be good. 100721 ... unhinged i didn't mean to worry you. nothing happened to me directly. i will email you 100722 ... unhinged i wish i had a little retreat like that. in recent weeks, i've been afraid to be at home so my little apartment has been a stress box. i think that situation is over for now. i refused to give in to his insanity over the weekend and have not received any communications from him for two days. i am mostly relieved. but it has been very hard. i am getting a new tattoo on friday. i have started exercising again and hope to get more into my meditation. but anyways, no hurry. most of my parts of this story are directly informed by my grandma. the last part actually happened between my grandma and grandpa. when i got back from europe after she died, we were sitting around the dining room table reminiscing and my grandpa told that story about her throwing the engagement ring down the street cause she was so pissed at him ;-) they were together for decades and had five children. even though she died eleven years ago, there are still lots of memories thrown around at family gatherings. olga i do need a story to write now more than ever friend. the past couple of weeks in particular have left me....in a hard place. you know; the place where even words don't make sense of it. *sigh* 100817 ... unhinged i had to take my computer in to get fixed on tuesday and just got it back. i am very hungover today; i haven't felt this way in awhile. my brain is having a hard time even forming conversational words. i will see about the story soon. 100829 what's it to you? who go blather from