i_dreamt_that_i_dreamt_07 unhinged 'damn. damn damn. i forgot the yogurt and cilantro for the curry. trane...we have to go back to the store.' coltrane trotted back into the kitchen with tail raised in anticipation. lilly grabbed his leash from the hook by the back door and clipped it on his collar. 'oh wait buddy.' coltrane was nudging her towards the door. she took the leash back off of him. he collapsed on his haunches and let out an exasperated sigh. lilly let out a healthy laugh. she knelt down and lifted up his snout so that they were nose to nose. 'sorry trane. gavin will be home soon and i wanted to set up all the paintings i won't let him see. make an exhibit for him and stuff. it won't take long. i'll be right back.' lilly ran upstairs and grabbed the nightmare stack and several candles. gavin collapsed to his knees in front of the painting of lilly's father. his breath came in short ragged gasps. he thought of his own parents and the horror of seeing them brutally murdered. reaching up, gavin grabbed the painting and laid it across his lap. at a closer vantage, details that seemed to be blurred from far away came more into focus. gavin shook his head in wonder at lilly's talent. he still panted slightly. a few tears had fallen onto the painting. when gavin went to wipe them away, some of the paint dissolved onto his fingertips. lilly came home to see gavin kneeling on the kitchen floor with the painting of her dad in his lap. she looked through the window of the back door; when she saw him wipe away his tears from the painting and the shocked look on his face at the rubbed off paint on his fingers she decided to come in the house. gavin turned quickly at the sound of the opening door. 'why do i always feel like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar when it comes to your paintings?' lilly knelt down next to him and took the painting out of his hands. 'it's okay gavin. it's all artistically tear stained now or something.' she gathered him up in her arms. gavin grabbed onto her and squeezed with all his might. 'do you know how much i love you?' 'i'm beginning to realize.' 071020 ... crOwl gavin reached forth his right hand, his stick-bent, calloused fingers trembling slightly, and touched the petal-like softness of lilly's cheek. she smiled and blushed. he kissed her and she kissed him back, offering herself willingly, like bird to sky. coltrane curled himself into a ball on the kitchen floor beside them and when they fell naked and stumbling to the floor in front of him, he only opened his eyes a moment and sighed. this was his happiness; lilly and gavin. they were his world, a world being created in front of all of them. a door slammed, more like a window frame as if the wind had unexpectely pushed it with great gale force. gavin, holding lilly's now pj clad body in his arms woke to the strange sound. lilly slept on, somewhat fitfully. gavin thought she uttered something, yet it seemed to make no sense, as if she was speaking an ancient tongue or one she had made up herself. he gently released his comforting hold on her and exited the bed, moving stealthfully to the kitchen where he kept a shot gun in the corner, behind the fridge, unloaded. he grabbed two shells from the drawer by the phone. inserting them, he strained to listen. he could hear footprints. a slow steady walk, as if someone was carefully moving from one place to the next, up to no good. then silence. a toad's creaking and the hum of crickets. 071023 ... unhinged coltrane heard gavin put the bullets in the gun and catapulted from the bed. the sudden movement woke lilly from her fitful sleep. she looked around to see them both missing. coltrane thundered down the stairs. 'trane...trane...' gavin stage whispered to the dog but he bolted past gavin down the basement stairs. gavin followed him trepidatiously. gavin heard sputtering and hissing. the frame of the basement stairs blocked the scene from his view. coltrane yelped. gavin trained the shotgun in the general direction of the noises. finally gavin could see the family of raccoons, the mother with hackles raised and coltrane bleeding from the snout. 'trane! come! now!' trane ran to gavin's side. 'shit. shit. what if the damn thing has rabies?' gavin looked at the mother raccoon. she looked scared and defensive but not rabid. 'trane? gavin?' lilly came down the basement stairs. gavin turned towards her with the shotgun. she froze and collapsed on the stairs. her mouth gaped open and shut. 'gav...gavin...you..you never told me you had one of those.' her eyes moved to the hissing raccoon and she shot up and bolted back up the stairs shrieking. 'lilly....LILLY...call the vet.' 071027 ... crOwl when lilly reached the top of the stairs, ascending them with a fear she had not known since her parents' murder, child-like gasps of breathlessness trailed her and she bat at the air as if they were birds attacking her. she slammed the door and pressed her whole body against it. how could he have a gun when he knows what almost happened to me? she wailed inside of herself. a question she already answered with the flood of conciliatory tears that suddenly leaked from her eyes. she took a deep breath. it was his manner of love. yeah, that's it, she hushed to herself. the gun was only for protection. he had risked danger to see what the noise was. just so she was safe. that's when she remembered the racoons. she rushed to the wall phone and dialed information to get the number. the vet told her to stay away from the racoons and that he'd come and get them himself. he knew a couple who raised them. lilly tiptoed back down the steps. she hoped gavin would forgive her. he was the glass bottle that held her liquid of life. without it she would die of thirst. she never wanted to break him. there was silence until coltrane, who had previously stoppped barking from his initial discovery of the racoons, practically chirped, yipping up the stairs to greet her. obviously he wanted her to come and see the racoons. lilly pushed him gently off her thighs and followed him over to gavin. she couldn't believe what he was doing. the mother racoon was on his lap and he was petting her. 071028 ... sorry that should read raccoons 071028 ... unhinged lilly and gavin sat at the kitchen table alone. their vet had taken the raccoons and coltrane. the vet had chuckled at the sight of the mother raccoon in gavin's lap. 'she must be one of my friends' hand-raised ones. too bad they couldn't train her to be nice to coltrane too. he might need a stitch or two. i should take him with me also.' gavin just silently nodded. he was somewhat speechless at his close encounter with the mama raccoon. her fur was coarse, even more coarse than trane's, and she seemed to lean into his touch. when he stopped stroking her head, she stood up on her hind legs and reached out to him with one of her front paws. gavin tried hard to breathe and stay calm; after the spitting and hissing and wounding he was not completely trusting of the little masked bandit. 'how long have you guys been hanging out down here? and you trane....how long did you know about these guys and not tell us?' lilly sat at the top of the stairs, still frightened by the wild animals. 'actually, he's been trying to get me to come down here when you aren't home. i'd been hearing noises; but i didn't want to come down here alone. and you always make me forget when you come home...' lilly had been looking at her feet playing with her socks but looked up at him with a small grin. mama raccoon started hopping in circles on her hind legs to gain gavin's attention. lilly and gavin laughed. trane barked playfully. mama hissed in his direction and he ran up the stairs to hide in between lilly's legs. gavin shook his head at the recent memories. 'it makes me think that maybe raccoons could make good pets.' lilly shuddered. 'rodents are not good pets. for one thing, they multiply too fast.' 'raccoons are rodents?' 'they look like it to me.' lilly suddenly got up from the table and got a glass of tap water from the sink. gavin noticed she was desparately gripping the counter. 'gavin...' 'oh lil, it was just a mama and her babies.' 'you didn't tell me you had a gun in the house.' gavin got up and put his arms around her. he could feel her trembling. 'i've always had one. i learned how to shoot when i was a boy. honestly, i forgot it was here. i don't use it anymore.' she had turned in his arms to look at him and he saw the tears. even her tears were trembling now. 'i can get rid of it.' she collapsed in his arms. 'what if you would have accidentally shot trane? and the mama turned out to be so sweet. what if you would have just shot her and then you would have never got to play with a raccoon?' lilly's words came out in mumbles and hysterical gasps against gavin's chest. 'i'll get rid of the gun in the morning. i promise.' 071029 what's it to you? who go blather from