vacation no reason trying to figure out where to go 100831 ... epitome of incomprehensibility Finally. I'm at my aunt's house reading books from the 1960s about: a) Women in business/income inequality b) Parody literary essays about Winnie-the-Pooh 160828 ... e_o_i (Two separate books, not the same one.) 160828 ... ovenbird It is almost impossible to have a vacation with children in tow. You can physically transport yourself from one place to another, but if “vacation” means vacating your responsibilities as well as your home then there is no possibility of a vacation with children. In general, travelling with young humans means that you accrue even MORE mental labour and responsibility because you have to do all the same things you would at home but in unfamiliar places with fewer of your own carefully curated amenities. And so my idea of what constitutes a vacation has changed dramatically from my pre-motherhood days to now. Now I differentiate between “trips” and “vacations” with trips being things to be endured and vacations being extremely rare occurrences that afford a mental break as well as a physical departure. The conditions that describe a vacation for me now tend to be incomprehensible to others. Most other people want to go somewhere exciting. They want to see new things! Eat new foods! Be out from morning to night soaking in culture and hitting all the local landmarks! Find themselves somewhere new every day! I don’t want to do any of those things. My perfect vacation involves setting aside my long list of daily responsibilities. A vacation means not having to do anything I don’t feel like doing, which is why I am filled with gratitude every August when I get to travel a short distance by ferry to visit a friend in her home on a mountain. I bring my daughter with me and she gets to spend four days playing with my friend’s daughter. The two of them disappear and I don’t hear from them until it’s time to go home. In the meantime I get to spend four days reading and writing and snacking and letting my eyes take in the view of the lake and the distant hills. My friend suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome, which means her energy is extremely limited, which means that most people have decided she is “no fun” but which, for me, means that there is absolutely no pressure to do anything at all, and I love that so much. We get to spend time together that is quiet and unhurried. We talk about our lives, sometimes we cry a little, we make extremely simple meals, we sit outside and listen to the snap of click beetles launching their bodies into the air. I do almost no parenting. I go to bed early. I dig into a pile of books I’ve been struggling to get to. I can feel my mind settling into a state it so rarely experiences. What IS this feeling? I ask myself. It takes me a moment to realize that this is rest. I close my eyes, and sigh. 250822 what's it to you? who go blather from