collecting newme buttons feathers coins books tins photographs dolls rocks matchbooks matchboxes baskets musical instruments ceramics 040722 ... newme beads newspapers stuffed animals 040722 ... newme keys 040722 ... u24 books music viri port knives I think i_have_said_this_before 040723 ... unhinged my insomnia a conscious collection of memories, ghosts, wandering around in my head. what hundreds and soon to be thousands of miles cannot separate. my love for you (plural); my heart is weary from collecting it. full and weary, no room for anything less than the perfect we (plural) shared. perfect of course being a relative term. perfect compared to these lovingly empty streets cause you can't wander here with me cept in dreams, as ghosts. some ghosts i've had to let go. and the ones left i pull even tighter in soon to be scattered to the physical wind of distance. i wonder sometimes if it's just childish hope of mine to love you. that you wouldn't possibly return the sentiment, that i'm not a ghost in your dreams too. i can't love anyone the way i love you (plural) anymore. so i'm collecting the memories of you (plural) knowing that the next few years will be quite barren because of the physical wind of distance scattering us across the globe. i used to play with my globe as a child, spinning it on the north pole placing my finger and letting it spin underneath to see where it would stop. i never thought it would stop with you, there, here, everywhere. i'm knocking door to door collecting the back taxes of love owed me. when you leave your door open, you invite and run the risk of thieves. i'm collecting my ghosts of you (plural) in my insomnia without typing or writing ink. in my head, so that i can carry you (plural) everywhere with me. learning to accept their places that have left me, pulling in tighter the ones that still hug me. closing the door against the coming storm when only ghosts will save me. the box of ticket stubs, set lists, guitar piks, my head. you are in my tonglen everyday. ghost of my childhood, love, happiness, innocence. collecting you near me again to save me from the coming storm. 040723 ... mon uow memories 050323 what's it to you? who go blather from