pissed_off blown cherry in a bad mood (fuming in fact) If I'm supposed to call you friend now, then this has got to work both ways. I've been too fucking nice to you today, which was okay if you were someone I was obsessed with, but by no menas acceptable behaviour for a 'friend'. Have I had a thankyou yet? Do you think being fucked up is a valid excuse for wasting 45 minutes of my time, and even more of my petrol, only to let your mobile battery run flat while I listen to you have a comprehensive conversation about cocktails with the bartender on the other end? So now I don't even know if you've got somewhere to sleep tonight, and bets are on the fact that your phone won't be charged in time for me to wake you up tomorrow so you'll be even closer to being fired. But it won't be my fault. And the trouble I went to today to swap that shift for you. I make the simple observation that we'd seen eachother everyday for two weeks, so that makes you all the more determined not to see me the next day? Not friend like behaviour. Really not. I'm too fucking nice to you, and what do I get to show for it? Fuck all. I'm tired of being the doormat. 020608 ... blown cherry in the light of day like_a_friend 020608 ... Photophobe See, I TOLD you I was fucked up. You should have simply hung up. 45 minutes? Now my phone was beeping at me: it doesn't have 45 minutes of talk time once it starts beeping. And I never told you to dive out to see me; I made it quite clear I was happy as was. I said thanks for your help for shift swapping. If it was such a drama for you, the why did you fucking bother? You just gave an example of EXACTLY how I treat my friends - if you don't want to be on the other end of the phone, I expect you to hang up. Get a grip. 020610 ... Photophobe Blazing Also: You don't have to fucking mother me. You think I can't get to work by 3.15 pm? You think I'm not perfectly capable of finding a place to sleep? Fuck off. I even told you : hey, don't call em to wake me up, I'm perfectly capable. Yet you STILL called me to see if I'd be awake. and gaping at you 020610 ... sabbie gets tired easily these days children, children, your doing it again. 020610 ... Photophobe glittering But hey, maybe I should just ignore the insane bits. 020610 ... blown cherry I already told you you should 020610 ... blown cherry yeah, maybe you did say not to call you in the afternoon, but maybe I was still riding the miniscule high I'd gotten the night before when you rang me to order a wake up call from your digital alarm clock the next morning. No, I don't think I'm going to apologise. 020610 ... " these fights we have are really dumb 020610 ... Freak ... when i get mad i get loud and sometimes a little on the violent side. I don't know how hes going to handle that. Especially sense I can't live without having those outburst. Its a way to get all the aggression out that I have in me. Thats why its so easy to get mad. 020612 ... IWishICouldGoWithDavid I know in the deepest layer of my bones that you are here, reading this, and I am NOT even going to give you the satisfaction of knowing that I am red-blind, steaming, screaming, frightfully, poisonously pissed off right now. 021212 ... p2 better to be pissed off than pissed on 021213 ... littleidiot pissed off already. its only been 40 minutes, but still.. still.. it feels like something is wrong, and nobody is telling me anything. silence and shadows and stillness. i feel so lost.. tumbling through the black and blue. goddamnit. i can tell. i can tell. this will be a night filled with smoke and mirrors. weed and self-analysis. its all the same. fuckit. why does this always happen.. every friday.. routine. scheduled. picked apart from the inside FUCK. 021213 ... tricky i was already pissed off at other things, then i turned to you to see if maybe you could make things better. i should have known better than to call you, i always end up getting pissed off. not necessarily at big things, but sometimes small things that go unnoticed on your part. but this time i was already pissed off, and when i called you back you did the same thing again that got me pissed off at you in the first place! what the hell? and then YOU get pissed at ME? oh hell no. fuck THAT. i don't have to deal with your crap just because i'm your girlfriend. goodbye. 030206 ... ssdfsgdf I AM FUCKING PISSED! I'M PISSED AT THE MEDIA I'M PISSED AT WHAT THE WORLD HAS COME TO I'M PISSED AT THE MEDIA I'M PISSED AT THE COPS I'M PISSED AT THE WAR I'M PISSED AT THE DESTRUCTION OF MOTHER EARTH I'M PISSED OFF AT MOST OF THE HUMAN RACE I'M PISSED OFF AT YOUR DOGMAS I'M PISSED AT YOUR STIGMAS I'M PISSED AT YOUR BIGOTRY I'M PISSED AT YOUR HOMOPHOBIA EAT SHIT YOU FUCKING HATE MONGERS 070620 ... WOOLY HAT YEAH ! CLEAN YOUR OWN POOP ! AND GO TO SCREAMING CLASS AT 6 IN DA MORNIN' 070620 ... pSyche but all I have is empty silence. I want to scream, but it only makes me feel worse. 070808 ... . just do it ! 070809 what's it to you? who go blather from