andrea and so another day has gone by
without my hearing from him
seems Iím the only one making
any effort as of lately
that should be all I need to know

despite the hot, humid weather
I get chills as one perfect vivid
thought explodes in my mind

Iím so lonely

and in my own way I thought he
could resolve his pain that he could
silence the sobs & ease the shaking
due to his recent absence in
my life, I guess not

I know her death gave him the
greatest heartbreak of all & I
tried to be the one to help him
heal it but I realize now heís
never going to love me, to love
anyone like he loves, loved her
he cherishes her memory more
than he does my presence

and living like that, I grow
afraid for him more than
I am for myself because I will
get over this, move on I just
wonder if he will be able to

copyright 2000
Raina hello?
someone is trying to point you in the right direction and once again you choose not to notice.
you know good and well that your receptors are working properly, but you dismiss these transmissions as mere paranoia and insanity.
wake the fuck up, we are trying to communicate the next phase of your mission.
Wayne been sending more brain waves lately

damn stuck up Venutians
roasting on a nice sandy Perelandran beach

ignoring my indignation

valis lately there is no choice
no unanswered messages
everyones got something to say
cant tell the salesmen
from the prophets
silentbob i wonder if i just keep sending them if they'll eventually lose meaning 020511
Syrope ok, so i'm not worth the time it takes to contact me. that's fine. it's not the first time, by any means. i could deal with that. what i can't deal with is how when you see me next you'll have nothing to say about it. no apologies, not even any excuses. i'm so sorry, sorry for everything, even the things i have no control over. but not you. you're not apologetic at all. but you sure are sorry... 020611
phil it would be pointless to write anymore about this subject. ( you ) 020611
boistuckonearth *crackle crackle* earth to neptune, earth to neptune, neptune, comein neptune, r u sending message now neptune? [ahem, sorry, had my headset off cuz i been in the library] ready to receive incoming message. i assume this is the next phase of our mission here? [i was doing some self education in the meantime] [incrypt with usual blather style 55/110z]. over. 020611
phil unanswered_messages

Like tiny boats in a river of whoe, coming closer and closer to my island hill, flinging arrows and lighting things on fire.
sylverquiklight oranges talk to me sometimes and they make very strange patterns on the tongue as i suck up the juice bacteria orange that's been sitting in my freinds car for way too long why doesn't she ever answer the emails i send her its horribly aggrivating, disconcerting, discouraging she just doesn't get it how simple it really is just to be a friend because that's all i ask of her proud vain J******* she thinks that everything i do is because of my infatuation with her its a matter of flattery to her but she doesn't realize the flame has dwindled to the simple glowing ember of a friend whose moved on 040124
sylverquiklight incidentally, that flame has dwindled to a little bit of charcoal. I don't even want to be her friend anymore--just stay away from me, please. 040220
when darkness falls i_should_have_known. i left you six messages over the period of two weeks, most of them only a few words long. i dislike leaving long messages because i'm aware of how precious your time is. i tried to avoid coming off as overly aggressive, desperate, or disinterested. but, as i later learned your mind was already made up, long before i started building castles in the sky. 061110
In_Bloom There were opportunities
Then chances
Even a few exceptions
To walk your talk

I can't be faulted now if I smile but dismiss your words and go on my way
f everything in moderation

there is a way of coping, if you know your body.

chocolate is not something i eat for survival but i sometimes like to eat it. i enjoy a couple glasses of wine but i make sure i exercise and drink lots of water to compensate.

that is my view but maybe other people think it is pure poision to have a glass of wine sometimes? it's much much worse to smoke 50 cigeretes a day.
unhinged piss me off *sigh* 090606
Raina I don't take them personal anymore, and that is a liberating feeling 170112
what's it to you?
who go