rachel
cav she means everything to me
too bad she has to leave
and go where she'll be
on the other side of the world

here's lookin at u babe =)
010618
...
Glory Box she was an angel
she looked like an angel
and all of the angels did sing
the angels were watching
and the angels were listening
and the angels were on hand
to stand in for everything
010907
...
reggie broke my heart.


i like you alot....but i don't want to go out with you...
010908
...
Glory Box Brings with her the prospect of physicality and while I can sit here safely and bravely assume that she is not shallow, I can't help but remember that little girl horror when she opened the door to a lack of physical attraction. But I am not looking for sex, just time to spend and a hand to hold and the simple intimacy would be enough to tide me over till tomorrow.

I miss you, Rachel.
010917
...
reaction time is a factor so please pay attention "A little boy offers to show you his butterfly collection and the killing jar, what do you do?" 011203
...
Glory Box I wasn't ready, and you're starting to fade from my mind.

I can't hear your voice anymore, but I loved your little girl hands, and the ticking of your alarm clock, and the way you were always so cold, and the way that we would spend hours in love, quietly, so as not to be caught.
020826
...
unhinged funny he thought my name was rachel

playing_along_ii
041019
...
Forming Mind is she a relative or just an essential herb? 041214
...
- rachel is my fat sister. 041214
...
Fearless Leader there's so much to say, i cant think of anything to write.

i want to meet her, because i think i would love her, but would she be disapointed if i did not? this worries me.
050311
...
pubescent the middle, the center, the bit of you that is different but the same, the part that feels, a girl 050312
...
rachelhater What an interesting name.

The first Rachel I knew was my best friend for three years - 6th grade to 9th grade - who destroyed my life through a nasty set of rumors. I lost all my friends, attempted suicide, was hospitalized, changed schools.

The next I fell in love with. She seemed angelic, pure, sweet... she had sex with my boyfriend while I was sleeping in the room.

I can't stand the name Rachel.
050703
...
highanddry I used to dream of naming my daughter Rachel. 050703
...
highanddry Six months of silence ended lastnight. And when the silence broke, I realized I still hate you, just as much as I did six months ago. 051122
...
Rachel Cooke Rachel Cooke 101005
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Rachel Cooke Rachel Cooke 101005
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Rachel Cooke Rachel Cooke 101005
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Rachel Cooke Rachel Cooke 101005
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Rachel Cooke Rachel Cooke 101005
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silentbob Your glasses and the shaved parts of your head. Your bag. Your lowcut top and your pencil skirt. Your voice. Your insistence. Your gait. Your breath. Your laugh.

After the play we walked out of the gym and up the street and walked all the way out of Uptown / Edgewater, those red_line neighborhoods that all run together for me. How you walked on my left side. How you mentioned your ex. How you're still living with him. How it's new. How he's unkind.

We walked under the train tracks and up to the beach by my house and we walked out on the doc in the chill of the night and I asked if it would be alright for me to kiss you and you said yes. And we aren't quite the same height or you didn't move quite to my position and I had to stand a weird way. And I think you must have said something about how it didn't definitely mean anything. Which was fine, of course.

We walked North to the bleachers of the school I jogged on just days before when it was warm. That Chicago weather goes up and down lately. And we talked about how you are culturally Jewish and you had a bat_mitzvah despite not being raised spiritually Jewish or practicing it, or having a mother who did, or practicing it after that. It just seemed like a thing you wanted to have done. You are like many American Jews.

We walked back to my house and sat on my new couch and we did kissing more.

You said you didn't want to have sex and we didn't. But you slept in my shirt which is my favorite thing. And we walked to the lake again after getting coffee. And you told me about your nonmonogamy. And I said that was fine, of course.

But I was sure I would never see you again.

But now it's been 5 weeks and it_just_keeps_happening .
160422
what's it to you?
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