blurring_the_edges_8_one_more_fork_in_the_road birdmad You spend the rest of the next two weeks passing up invitations to work and play with your accomplices. The only calls you have taken from any of them since the party at Jimmy K's is one from Michelle who says that she can't take Zoe's games anymore and that you should consider walking away from her as well. "I just can't take it anymore," she says, audibly near tears, "It's like she's just toying with me. She knows I love her, but she'll never actually extend herself that far to feel the same thing about me. I know it's the same for you, I can see it when you look at her, I can tell by the way you fuck her. Trust me, we're both in the same spot." "'Chelle," you answer, "I don't even know what to say to that." "Just don't let her convince you that you're just like her. She's let herself keep believing the shit that people have made her feel and now it's like she has to share that emptiness. And you know what I'm talking about, you've seen how Zoe gets when you tell her you love her, it makes her all twitchy." "Why are you saying all this to me, Michelle?" "Because, you and Dana are the only ones who might actually care. I can't stay in this city anymore, I'm all signed up for summer semester and i am going to go back to Detroit to stay with my aunt for the spring and then back to school at MSU. Besides, Zoe, won't miss me, she's got Tricia to play with now anyway. My flight leaves this afternoon" "Can i see you off?" you ask. "No, I don't want to complicate this with any good-byes, I think it's best that I just make a clean break, but thank you - for being a scary sonofabitch you were always very sweet. I'm glad you were such a good listener ...and learner too," she said, chuckling a little at that last remark and making you blush. "Bye, 'Chelle," you tell her, more than a little sad to see her go. "Bye, Alex, take care of yourself." And with that she hangs up. Your first instinct is to fight back tears just long enough to get out of the house. The last thing you want to have to explain to your mother or your little nephew is that one of your favorite partners in crime has just split town. You dig in your drawer for your cigarette case and your lighter and tuck them down into the pocket of your jeans. "I'll be back in a little while, maybe about an forty-five minutes," you say as you walk toward the front door, "I'm going for a walk." "Okay," your mom says from the kitchen where she is using the kitchen table as a workbench for her latest quilt. As you walk down the driveway toward the street, you see Ricky's little sister Gracie stepping out of the front door of the house across the street. Normally you might pause to ogle her, but right now it's the furthest thing from your mind. "Hi, Alex," she calls out to you and waves. You wave back and smile, just in time to hear her dad's parrot call to her in the same tone as its drunken owner "GRACIELA!" You both laugh as you walk away down the street and she gets in her car. Kicking at a few rocks and empty bottles in the vacant lot down the west end of the street, near the end of the block, you take refuge in your favorite little hiding place. The little pit at the foot of that same big-assed palo verde tree you've always gone when you don't want to be seen. The hole seems a little deeper today and you notice that there is a makeshift ramp to one side of it. on the other side of it as you sit down in it, you see a gouge that looks like it was made by the crasing impact of a bicycle tire. Heh, you think, someone really ate it on that jump. You are laughing and crying at the same time, caught between the ridiculousness of everything around you and a certain sense of loss over Michelle's decision to leave. You inhale the narcotic fumes from the cigarette. By the time you feel better, though, you notice that you have now smoked two of them." You walk around for another twenty minutes, making for an hour that you have been roaming about. As has been the strangely coincidental case on many of your walks, you happen across Tina's dad, Mr. De La Cruz and his seeing-eye dog heading back home from their afternoon jaunt in the park. The two of you exchange a quick hello and pass each other by as you turn back up your street. When you walk in the door, you are reasonably sure that your eyes bear no trace of the fact that you've shed a few tears. You feel the overwhelming need to pee and break for the bathroom as soon as you walk in the door. You notice that your mom has put up her quilting stuff for now and you can see down the hall that she has the Johnny Canales Show on the TV in her night-stand. The band playing is one of the ones your dad would have described as "not worth a damn" by the sound of them. While you are washing your hands, she gets up and knocks on the door. "Bryan called right after you left, and Elena called just before you got back. Both of them want you to call them as soon as you can." You scratch your head as you ponder where Elena might have called you from. 030412 ... User24 I am reading this. 030829 what's it to you? who go blather from