altoids jennifer heard it once, heard it a thousand times... how about hearing it yet again? Had the most interesting conversation with the top sales weasel at our company today. She came into my office and noticed I had a box of Altoids on my desk. (Have you had them? They are these obnoxiously strong peppermints made in England.) As soon as she saw them, she burst into laughter. Turns out she had recently had an affair with a guy who called her and left her an incredibly steamy voice mail message after an encounter. He went on and on about what a blow job goddess she was, how amazing she was, how he'd never be the same, etc. She was kind of puzzled, thinking: what did I do to this guy that was so different from my regular technique? She finally figured it out: she's a smoker, and before getting intimate with him, she had gone to the bathroom to "freshen up." Not having a toothbrush, she crunched on about four Altoids and then got busy. Apparently things went amazingly. So she passed this little tidbit on to another female sales weasel, who immediately tried it out on *her* fiance. Apparently this guy has never, ever been into oral sex, but liked the mint sensation so much that he asked her to stop and chew another Altoid mid-blow job. He is now a fellatio gourmand. This news has been going around our office. Having a box of Altoids on your desk is now like being part of the Secret Blowjob Goddess Society. It's the equivalent of having the hottest car or coolest computer. News spread like crazy among the females, who all went out at lunch to Walgreens to buy a box of Altoids (about $2 for 100 or so), and their partners across the city tonight are getting one hell of a corporate blow job. As far as company-wide morale boosting events, it doesn't get much better. Some of the men found out, too -- they went out after work to buy them for their wives. They strategized on how to get their wives to eat them. And people wonder why I work in technology. (For what it's worth -- it really does work! It leaves a lasting tingle that is apparently quite exquisite.) 000511 ... birdmad Their ad copy used to be: "The curiously strong mints that come in a metal box" Well... if i factor in my experiences as a nightclub bouncer as being representative of Strength (curious or otherwise) and if i count all the times i ever had sex in a car ... ...i guess i'm an altoid 000511 ... birdmaaaaaaaad just not particulrly minty, though. 000511 ... MollyCule the cinammon variety work even better. They are less strong and, unlike the mint varieties, don't hurt gentle girl skin. I cannot speak for the men folk, however. 000517 ... JessieLee Aren't altoids Funny? 010123 ... j_blue i tried it with my boy friend, but stopped midway apparently exposing the affected area to open air was too much for him he spent the next few hours trying to do the same thing to me he said it felt like i used bengay on him 010123 ... retartedkidnameddamian whenever i see an altoids box, i assume it is full of controlled substances rather than mints. 010328 ... j_blue good assumption, thats usually what i assumewhen i see m&ms minis, since the odds of candy being in one of those plastic tubes are less than the odds of mints being in an altoids tin 010329 ... unhinged that was our code word back in the day 010605 ... *colleen* Im such a wimp, they burn my mouth!!!! 020313 ... girl_jane owned by Phillip Morris-along with too many other things to boycott them all... 020313 ... bethany once in 8th grade jeff langlois ate a whole tin, save a few that the few of us ate before he downed the whole tin. 020313 ... radioman Altoids tins have also been used for many years to encase amateur low power morse code transmitters. The Foxx range of radios (Kanga products)have been especially designed to correspond with the dimensions of the altoids tin! 040408 ... hooked on altoids *notices sales of altoids throughout the country increasing after the creation of this blathe* 040408 ... mentos lover do mentos work in the same way? 040408 ... oE mmmm bracing! gets my mouth out of the halitotic hustle incidentally, boycott them all? ... 040409 ... oE i love popping one in my rectum the tingle is amazing 040413 ... goatse haha lame 040413 ... pipers i LOVE the tin, i put my rings and earrings in them when i travel, otherwise they just pour out of them on my dressing table. and the mints are good too...and so was jennifer's story...hehehehe... 040413 ... oE Ah the ersatz oE is at it again. Sorry you had to read that pipers. He/she is a child and a coward. Why don't you use your real blather name? 040414 ... oE why dont i kill myself? 040414 ... oldephebe Oh, I've succumbed to your insidious splenetic seduction and got right down and wallowed in the porcine feces with you ersatz oE. I'll say one thing for you though. You got me beat on the whole lack of imagination thing. That and maybe a real bad case of acne. Bubbla I kid! Relax. So show yourself already. ... 040414 ... pipers i knowed it wasn't you, 'phebes ducky, so s'okay :) ersatz oE is a poopie-head, and i said that on purpose so he pukes from the little-girl-saccharineness of it hehehehe 040415 ... misstree pipers, cover your ears, er, eyes, or something, you're not old enough for this kind of talk. ;) they work just as well for eating a girl out, too. guys aren't the only ones who enjoy oral sex. and just about anything that's curiously strong, including things like the listerine strips or hall's mentholated cough drops, work. hall's get a bit sticky, but have extra extra effect with just the slightest breath. 040416 ... marked noted. . 040526 what's it to you? who go blather from