being_a_grownup jenny enny dots I hate being a grown up. I want to explore this infinately huge place, but there is simply not enough hours or days or weeks, months or years. I simply cannot spend too much time here. I cannot my distracted from my goals. I must find discipline, structure and a way to enjoy what this place has too offer. But not too much. 040121 ... trixie means making your way for yourself and not feeling bad about getting what you need. it means loving yourself if no one else is, and then finding someone to do that for you. 040122 ... reue taking responsibility paying your own damned bills getting up on time same for sleep fun one weekend a month, two weeks a year decipline in actions making your own mistakes and then fixing (or learning how to) them yourself choices freedom and entrapment self-sufficient providing for your loved ones being yourself and being what other need you to be doing whats right time and place for everything 040122 ... dying embers finally understanding what you meant when you said what you meant. Knowing that this is how is it weather you like it or not and getting on with it. Letting the holes in your soul alone, because a holy soul is blessed. Finally realizing that not only is it not all about you but in the scheme of thigs you're almost nonexistent and still loving yourself enough to keep going. Loving just enough to let go and not give up. 040122 ... jenny enny dots hates being a grownup Is about having AT LEAST a full time job. And not being a kid who can waste hour after hour on forums. Every time I join one I am addicted. Then I quit cold turkey and don't go back. Then I join another one. Will this one be the same? I can't escape it's hold on me. It wants me back. 040122 ... jenny enny dots This is where I sit and feel guilty for blathering. This is where I can whine and complain. This started as my frustration corner. A place where I don't have to put on a cheerful face. I love to blather soooooooooooooo much, it's killing me. I don't want life to pass me by knowing that I could have done other things than blather. I need to maintain some control and discipline. I have very little willpower. 040125 ... noone special is something i haven't been able to do yet and crete excuses to maintain immaturity. is something that seems to suck the fire from the hearts of people i used to know 040126 ... sabbie and i live in a house which i signed my own lease and i pay my own rent and i have a full time job and i pay bills and i have a phone in my own name and i have a mobile and i have bosses and daily tasks and i have been a car owner and i spend my life busily doing all my stuff and i take care of myself [because somebody has to] and i was talking to the ottergirl just the other day listing all these things that we do but i wonder if i'm ever going to be a grownup. i don't feel like a grownup i jsut feel like me. so what does being a grownup mean? responsibility, ok, i have bunches of that a job or money or something check to one, wishes to the other exiting one's teens which i did years ago a house and bills all in my name yup, got plenty of those. i make my own decisions i do my own thing i have no one to answer to i am responsible for everything i do still, it's jsut all me. nothing grownup nothing adult it's just sab doing one day at a time. jsut like i've always done. 040126 ... witchesrequiem As a chlid you can't wait to grow up you think no rules. Just freedom. Sometimes I think I would rather be grounded to my room then have responsibility like bills and food and taxes. Kids have it all now, their rooms full of electronic fun..grounded what a joke, they don't leave the room any way. You spank them you get sued. Take away dinner you get sued, besides that they have candy stores ubder there bed. They already have the freedom. Free education, dating whom ever they like, food prepared for them, no biological clock.... They are told they can be anything they want. Then they step out that cushy teen year and are told they are dumb and worthless and can't do what they want. More what the rest of the world would have you do... go to college or go to work. Settle down, don't date around. Go through cars, paying one off just for it to brake down and start over again. And lets not forget if your 50 your parents still breath down your neck. Alright I could blather on this all night, but I don't feel better. 040127 ... Sarcasm Bites Praise to the gods you couldn't. 040127 ... Lemon_Soda Means pretending bad things are okay to do. Means forgetting how fun a simple toy is. Means its okay to hate. Means more than I want to understand. 040127 what's it to you? who go blather from