jennifer heard it once, heard it a thousand times... how about hearing it yet again?

Had the most interesting
conversation with the top sales
weasel at our company today. She
came into my office and noticed I
had a box of Altoids on my desk.

(Have you had them? They are
these obnoxiously strong
peppermints made in England.) As
soon as she saw them, she burst
into laughter. Turns out she had
recently had an affair with a guy
who called her and left her an
incredibly steamy voice mail
message after an encounter. He
went on and on about what a blow
job goddess she was, how amazing
she was, how he'd never be the
same, etc. She was kind of
puzzled, thinking: what did I do
to this guy that was so different
from my regular technique?

She finally figured it out: she's
a smoker, and before getting
intimate with him, she had gone
to the bathroom to "freshen up."
Not having a toothbrush, she
crunched on about four Altoids
and then got busy. Apparently
things went amazingly.

So she passed this little tidbit
on to another female sales
weasel, who immediately tried it
out on *her* fiance. Apparently
this guy has never, ever been
into oral sex, but liked the mint
sensation so much that he asked
her to stop and chew another
Altoid mid-blow job. He is now a
fellatio gourmand.

This news has been going around
our office. Having a box of
Altoids on your desk is now like
being part of the Secret Blowjob
Goddess Society. It's the
equivalent of having the hottest
car or coolest computer. News
spread like crazy among the
females, who all went out at
lunch to Walgreens to buy a box
of Altoids (about $2 for 100 or
so), and their partners across
the city tonight are getting one
hell of a corporate blow job. As
far as company-wide morale
boosting events, it doesn't get
much better.

Some of the men found out, too --
they went out after work to buy
them for their wives. They
strategized on how to get their
wives to eat them.

And people wonder why I work in

(For what it's worth -- it really
does work! It leaves a lasting
tingle that is apparently quite
birdmad Their ad copy used to be:
"The curiously strong mints that come in a metal box"

Well... if i factor in my experiences as a nightclub bouncer as being representative of Strength (curious or otherwise) and if i count all the times i ever had sex in a car ...

...i guess i'm an altoid
birdmaaaaaaaad just not particulrly minty, though. 000511
MollyCule the cinammon variety work even better. They are less strong and, unlike the mint varieties, don't hurt gentle girl skin. I cannot speak for the men folk, however. 000517
JessieLee Aren't altoids Funny? 010123
j_blue i tried it with my boy friend, but stopped midway

apparently exposing the affected area to open air was too much for him

he spent the next few hours trying to do the same thing to me

he said it felt like i used bengay on him
retartedkidnameddamian whenever i see an altoids box, i assume it is full of controlled substances rather than mints. 010328
j_blue good assumption, thats usually what i assumewhen i see m&ms minis, since the odds of candy being in one of those plastic tubes are less than the odds of mints being in an altoids tin 010329
unhinged that was our code word back in the day 010605
*colleen* Im such a wimp, they burn my mouth!!!! 020313
girl_jane owned by Phillip Morris-along with too many other things to boycott them all... 020313
bethany once in 8th grade jeff langlois ate a whole tin, save a few that the few of us ate before he downed the whole tin. 020313
radioman Altoids tins have also been used for many years to encase amateur low power morse code transmitters. The Foxx range of radios (Kanga products)have been especially designed to correspond with the dimensions of the altoids tin! 040408
hooked on altoids *notices sales of altoids throughout the country increasing after the creation of this blathe* 040408
mentos lover do mentos work in the same way? 040408
oE mmmm bracing!

gets my mouth out of the halitotic hustle

incidentally, boycott them all?
oE i love popping one in my rectum
the tingle is amazing
goatse haha lame 040413
pipers i LOVE the tin, i put my rings and earrings in them when i travel, otherwise they just pour out of them on my dressing table.

and the mints are good too...and so was jennifer's story...hehehehe...
oE Ah the ersatz oE is at it again. Sorry you had to read that pipers. He/she is a child and a coward. Why don't you use your real blather name? 040414
oE why dont i kill myself? 040414
oldephebe Oh, I've succumbed to your insidious splenetic seduction and got right down and wallowed in the porcine feces with you ersatz oE. I'll say one thing for you though. You got me beat on the whole
lack of imagination thing. That and maybe a real bad case of acne. Bubbla I kid! Relax. So show yourself already.
pipers i knowed it wasn't you, 'phebes ducky, so s'okay :) ersatz oE is a poopie-head, and i said that on purpose so he pukes from the little-girl-saccharineness of it hehehehe 040415
misstree pipers, cover your ears, er, eyes, or something, you're not old enough for this kind of talk. ;)

they work just as well for eating a girl out, too. guys aren't the only ones who enjoy oral sex. and just about anything that's curiously strong, including things like the listerine strips or hall's mentholated cough drops, work. hall's get a bit sticky, but have extra extra effect with just the slightest breath.
marked noted.
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